[Eternal_Cat]

Hello all, I am trying to google a disorder I may have. It involves having thoughts all of a sudden where something really bad happens. These "visions" come out of the blue, usually when I'm having nice thoughts about someone or thing. Then all of a sudden it goes bad. EG. I am thinking of say a table, and Audrey Hepburn and then I have a sudden thought of Audrey Hepburn falling off a table and breaking her neck. Then I flinch hard. If I'm alone at home, I may even put my head in hands and say a word over and over again, like ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok or mafiso. . . mafisoooooo maaaaa maaaa mafiso. Yup, that's a nonsense word, it doesn't mean anything, it just logorrhea.

Help me please.

[sqrlb8]

Hey EC, my sympathies, that's a hard one. It sounds most to me like what are called "intrusive thoughts." That might be a good google start for you, as it is a clinical term. For me, it's connected to PTSD, but I don't suppose that is the only thing they connect to.

Have you heard of DBT? Dialectical Behavior Therapy? I'm in a course currently and find it to be the most useful information I have encountered yet. It seems centered around the concept of mindfulness, and even uses much of the buddhist teachings in that regard. You can read quite a lot about it right here on this site by clicking on the "resource directory" link in the blue bar at the top of the page.

Hope it's helpful.

sqrl.

[Perzephone]

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Eternal_Cat said:
Hello all, I am trying to google a disorder I may have. It involves having thoughts all of a sudden where something really bad happens.

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This sometimes happens to me - only my thoughts involve me causing havoc & malice. I'll be having a nice, normal conversation w/someone, and a little nasty voice speaks up in my head & says, "I bet if I poked him/her in the eye right now, it would really hurt." It's sort of a dry, nonchalant voice that comes up w/these shocking ideas of doing violence to someone... Luckily, I have enough control & willpower (not to mention human decency & compassion) to not act on the ideas - but I can't seem to get rid of them, either. And I feel badly, because the person involved usually hasn't done or said anything to annoy me.



Something that also happens is, for example, my husband will say he loves me & I have a reply pop up in my mind of "No, you're just in it for the convenience", or he'll tell me I'm sexy & I'll think, "You actually think I'm a pox-ridden hog-woman".

I've talked to some of my friends & they tell me they get the same kinds of things happening, usually when they're feeling insecure or under a lot of undue pressure or stress. I don't know if it's just maybe the mind's way of blowing off steam, or 'acting out' without acting out. I'll have to ask my therapist about it next week.

[LostandLonleySoul]

This happens to me all the time. I call it worse case syndrome. I ALWAYS think of the wjorst case synerio. IE my kids are running in the house and I just think that they will fall and break something, or when I was in the train I kept thinking that it would derail and kill everyone in it. I don't know how to get rid of these. I don't think that it is a cureable thing. weell hope to you the best. If you find something let me know.

[January]

Hi Cat,

The intrusive thoughts may also be part of OCD. It used to happen to me and I would make myself think of something else, like counting backwards from 1,000 or doing squares of numbers. I hope this helps!

Cheers!

Jan

[jmo531]

Hi Cat!!

Just like Jan, my intrusive thoughts are associated with my OCD. I have had very bad thoughts in the past that have caused me great anxiety. Seeing my T and having worked with her for several months on this issue she has given me some good techniques to work with in order to deal with them.

My first battle was to accept that the thoughts I was having are just thoughts. Although these thoughts are very disturbing and caused me further unpleasant feelings like shame, disgust and hating myself for even having these thoughts. However, once I accepted that the thoughts are part of my OCD it was easier for me to divert my mind. Like Jan, counting backwards from 1000 is one method of diversion. I also like to do the 5-5-5. I name 5 things I can see, 5 things I can hear and 5 things I can touch. I also try to take an object, like a hand ball, paperclip, coin or whatever object I have access to and transfer it from one hand to the other and I look at it while I am doing it and really concentrating on the exchange of the object from one hand to another. Also, putting a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it when these thoughts happen may help.

The key I beleive is to understand that the thoughts your having are just thoughts. Not actions and they are a part of the illness. Recognizing your thoughts, noticing them, allowing yourself to notice without judging them. I hope that you are able to find some peace soon as I know having these thoughts are very frustraiting, scary and for me cause further anxiety.

I would do a google search for intrusive thoughts, OCD, Pure Obsessional OCD. This might be a good place to start. Good luck. Much love and peace to you.


Jen

[Eternal_Cat]

I'm not sure I have OCD. Last year when I was being sworn at and micro-managed by a girl half my size I did get a few compulsions like sitting in a chair in a certain way, but I don't think that's OCD. I have the thoughts, they are annoying more than anything as they appear out of the blue. And sometimes they happen in public which is embarassing, and I have to pretend I'm sneezing.

I will google OCD tho.

[Eternal_Cat]

I have heard of therapy involving mindfulness. I am being offered a free course in it for my sock phobia.

[(JD)]

Mindfulness is something you learn with meditation... most any T can help with this. What you are experiencing can be defined as "intrusive thoughts." Have you googled that? (I haven't yet so I can't tell you what you will come up with.)