what is this called

what condition/name is given when someone goes on an impulse, knows it's wrong but can't stop themselves and has been diagnosed with clinical depression

example:

a teenager who knows it's wrong to purchase items off the internet even after all cards are hidden and/or pin numbers changed still finds a way to do it and doesn't stop until they are caught (bills come in) then hang their head and quietly say.....sorry I don't know what got into me

please someone must know what it is and where or how I can find help for this teenager

It could be called "Knowing that 'Sorry, I don't know what got into me' will get better results than 'Try and stop me, nyaaaah! '"

Or it could be called one of the Games People Play that Eric Berne wrote about, perhaps a version of Schlemiel:

The moves in a typical game of "Schlemiel" are as follows:

1W. White spills a highball on the hostess's evening gown.

1B. Black (the host) responds initially with rage, but he senses (often only vaguely) that if he shows it, White wins. Black therefore pulls himself together, and this gives him the illusion that he wins.

2W. White says "I'm sorry."

2B. Black mutters or cries forgiveness, strengthening his illusion that he wins.

3W. White then proceeds to inflict other damage on Black's property. He breaks things, spills things and makes messes of various kinds. After the cigarette burn in the tablecloth, the chair leg through the lace curtain and the gravy on the rug, White's Child is exhilarated because he has enjoyed himself in carrying out these procedures, for all of which he has been forgiven, while Black has made a gratifying display of suffering self-control. Thus both of them profit from an unfortunate situation, and Black is not necessarily anxious to terminate the friendship.

The snippet at ericberne.com ends there but in the actual book Berne goes on to say:

As in most games, White, who makes the first move, wins either way. If Black shows his anger, White can feel justified in returning the resentment. If Black restrains himself, White can go on enjoying his opportunities. The real payoff in this game, however, is not the pleasure of destructiveness, which is merely an added bonus for White, but the fact that he obtains forgiveness. This leads directly into the antithesis.... After White says "I'm sorry," Black, instead of muttering "It's okay," says, "Tonight you can embarrass my wife, ruin the furniture and wreck the rug, but please don't say 'I'm sorry.' "

This could be a lot of things so be prepared for a lot of answers. Could be anything really. You would have to know the teens behavior patterns to really have a better idea. Off the top of my head I can think of 5 things it could be. But to find out what it really is, you would have to talk to the teen indebth for starters.

I am not sure about buying in internet but I can tell you about my life experience. When I am full of emotions (angry and so on), I continue explaining to my wife why I do so and how she should behave because I am just unable to control myself in those situations. At those moments my emotions much stronger that my consciousness.

I am aware of it and working on it every day (psychologist, yoga, meditation and so on). It happens infrequently but still happens...

Can't really tell over the internet. It could be that the teenager is just being a teenager and seeing how far they can push the boundaries. Teenagers can go through a very rebelious stage. Sometimes it can be a reaction to things going on in the home and they want you to take notice of them or even a cry for attention. We would need to know if the teenager had any other symptoms or emotional problems. Some people with bipolar can act on impulse in the manic phase but they are not usually aware of their actions at the time or thinking of the consequenses. Only after some time do they feel some shame and that might not be until someone else has pointed it out. With medication and psychotherapy someone with bipolar can learn to cope with these impulses. I cannot say whether your teenager has bipolar but it would be worth discussing this with a mental health professional if it is an ongoing problem.

What a difficult situation for all concerned. As others have said, without knowing the individual etc etc, it would be hard to say. But also, we, at PC cannot diagnose anyone. We are not trained to diagnose and mistakes in diagnosing could be made to the detriment of the individual. The best way to know is to have a long chat with them or go to a therapist and discuss the situation.

I wish all parties well.

Impulsive spending
Although self-discipline is the best way to control spending, too many people are caught in a cycle of impulsive spending that seems to have a life of its own, beyond the limits of self-discipline.

Tahira K. Hira, a professor of family and consumer science at Iowa State University says, “Low self-esteem appears to be related to impulsive spending. Couple low-self esteem with lack of knowledge of current personal financial status, combined with other savings barriers such as procrastination, stress and insecurity, and the result is a greater focus on paying for needs today and forgetting those for tomorrow….The key is getting a grasp of cash-flow management. Those who don’t know extend their income with credit cards.”

Impulsive buyers buy on a whim, make unplanned purchases, usually lack self-control in buying situations, and lack clear priorities in spending, which results in overspending, unnecessary additional debt, unused articles, and family arguments.

Most impulsive spenders sabotage their own prosperity with the “I want it now” syndrome, which is characterized by spending beyond their incomes. This in turn leads to persistent fear, unremitting debt, and depression and feeds into a downward cycle of worry and low self-esteem…. the instant gratification of impulsive spending…deepening debts…more worry…more spending…

The best way to overcome short-term buying impulsiveness is to (1) leave the presence of the item; (2) price the item in three other places; (3) keep tight control on the use of credit cards; (4) buy only what is needed and practical; and (5) have spending priorities.

Discipline is the key to controlling impulse buying for the long term.

Before buying on impulse, list the item on an Impulse List, talk about the item with your spouse or a trusted friend, obtain comparison prices, and wait seven days before purchasing the item.

Most impulse purchases can be eliminated by this discipline.

Compulsive spending
When people do not feel confident in themselves and have very low self-esteem, they may look to factors outside themselves as sources of value.

Compulsive spending is a means by which people fill the vacuum in the heart that should be filled with a sense of personal acceptance.

Listed below are 10 signs and symptoms that characterize compulsive spending.

1. Shopping or spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry, or depressed.
2. Having emotional distress or chaos in personal and family lives because of shopping or spending money.
3. Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.
4. Feeling lost without credit cards.
5. Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.
6. Spending money feels like a reckless or forbidden act.
7. Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, or confused after shopping or spending money.
8. Lying to others, especially the spouse, about what was bought or how much money was spent.
9. Juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending.
10. Feeling of powerlessness and helplessness to overcome the compulsion to spend.

Some viable steps that can be taken to help correct the problem:

The first thing is to understand the nature of the problem: the emotional needs and personality traits that have given rise to compulsion.

Second, develop and implement practical applications that include balancing outgo with income (do not spend unless there is money to spend), budgeting, setting goals, and getting quality financial counseling.

Third, eliminate credit buying. Compulsive spending is many times an addiction to credit cards. It generally takes 30 days to break someone from any addiction such as drugs, alcohol, and so on. Credit cards can be included with this group.

Therefore, either destroy the credit cards, place them in a drawer out of sight, or give them to someone for safekeeping, and do not use them for 30 days. Within those 30 days it will become apparent that life goes on without the need for credit cards.