[Hippie]

DON'T read if you're feeling sensitive.

Not sure where to post this. This might TRIGGER someone so don't read if you feel vulnerable.

I just found out that there are Forums where you can only go by INVITATION only. This makes me cry. It reminds me of being really little and told I couldn't go to a birthday party for a classmate because I didn't have "nice clothes". It wasn't like a five year old can go out and but their own clothes. I felt so alone. This triggered me to go back to that whole thing. Just want people to know there's a reason I don't like most people. Meaness. Unfeeling. Cruel.

[englishteacher]

Hippie! You can play at my house anytime and you are not alone! I can't stand inclusive/exclusive behavior. It reminds me of being a left-out kid too. Some people, I guess, need to be exclusive to feel special about themselves. Of course, as an adult, I remind myself - why go where you are not wanted? If they can't see that you are worthy of inclusion, then it is their loss...not yours.

[lynn P.]

Hippie - can you explain more to me. I wasn't aware there are forums where you need to be invited to only. So I want to learn what you mean. There are social groups ex - 'laughter is the best therapy, gay forum etc - but you can join these groups if you want - there's a place where you click, to join. Some members will creat a group and invite their friends but others can still join I think. There is a Grand Poobah Forum and this is for members who've reached 3,000 posts, contributed someway or a 3 yr member. Let me know what forum you're talking about so I can undestand. I understand how you feel, I don't like exclustion either.

[Hippie]

The Forum is titled "Those In Psychotherapy" It sayd By Invitation. Like. most of the people here aren't in therapy? I agree with Englishteacher. Little people.

Perhaps if you are interested in being in that group you should contact one of the members and let them know. The fact that they haven't personally contacted you doesn't mean they are being "little people". I just means they may not even know you or the group isn't very active. Don't sit back and stew about it; be proactive about it. This isn't high school. These aren't cliques. How many thousands of people are on PC?

[pegasus]

'Those in Psychotherapy' Social Group Forum is open to everyone. I am not a member of the group and yet I just tried to post in there and was able to if I wanted to.

Edit: Just had a look at the social group list and there is a 'Those in Psychotherapy #2' which is by invitation only. Still, you can post away in the other forum no problem.

[lynn P.]

I couldn't even find the "Those In Psychotherapy #2". Maybe someone can give me a link. I think all groups should be open to all members if they want to join. There shouldn't be closed groups or a hierarchy, because it makes some people feel excluded.

[pegasus]

lynn

Those in Psychotherapy 2.0

The good thing about the invitation only group is that when it becomes a forum then it can only be read by those in the group. Nobody else can see it. I'm sure if you contacted the person that started the group, they would let you all join no problem. It's just for privacy I think.

Actually, you are wrong. I can read everything on the Those in Psychotherapy 2.0 group. It isn't private. Those in Psychotherapy 1 is not listed at all on the social groups list. I have no idea how you are accessing it. Anyway, I can see why this is confusing and upsetting to some, but we have the larger forums to post on, so it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Hippie, most of the members of the social group post more regularly on the regular psychotherapy forum anyway. Come join us. It is a really great group of people.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

Actually, you are wrong. I can read everything on the Those in Psychotherapy 2.0 group. It isn't private. Those in Psychotherapy 1 is not listed at all on the social groups list. I have no idea how you are accessing it. Anyway, I can see why this is confusing and upsetting to some, but we have the larger forums to post on, so it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Hippie, most of the members of the social group post more regularly on the regular psychotherapy forum anyway. Come join us. It is a really great group of people.

WHEN it goes to FORUM status it will be private and will only be read by those who are in the psychotherapy #2 group. You can read it now in the social group list but WHEN it goes to forum status the public will not see it. I am not wrong about this farmergirl. Thank you.

Those in psychotherapy (forum) can be read and posted in and is not invite only. Link here for you all... Those In Psychotherapy

[(JD)]

I see this as another opportunity to work through such an issue as being left out. You can access the listing of the Social Groups within your Messages (PM page) on the left hand side, down in the column. Click on that and you'll see the listing.

There will always be places or access to which one is denied, whether a child or an adult. That's part of life. Try not to take it personally, then, fill that void with places you can go!

Not all forums are open to all members of PC? I'm confused. Are there forums that I am completely unaware of?

[(JD)]

Yes farmergirl. ANYONE can create a Social Group. Once that social group becomes large enough (with a certain number of members) then they can create their own Social Group Forum (see way down below on the index page.) I think you already know that though.

Some social groups are "Private" meaning that the server only allows those who are members to view/read/respond.

There is also a Premier PoohBah Forum for members here who reach a certain posting level, donate to the Community Fund, or otherwise support PC (like writing for the newsletter.) That is a private forum until you qualify. The server doesn't even show the private forums on the index list unless you are a member of it (them.) Even members of a private forum can't read or respond to a thread unless they are signed in ... to keep the public prying eye from even trying!

[pegasus]

Social groups can be set on
- Invite only
Moderated
or public group.

These social groups are set by the person who start it, you need 25+ members for the social group to be made into a FORUM.

Invite only - when it is made into a forum can only be read and posted in by the members in that group.

Moderated - when it is a forum members can post and read but it is also viewable to all members.

Public - any member can join to post, public can read it and it is viewable.

Link to Social group viewable forums Social Group Forums

[(JD)]

It's best to access the list from your own PM profile etc page.

Originally Posted by (JD)

I see this as another opportunity to work through such an issue as being left out. You can access the listing of the Social Groups within your Messages (PM page) on the left hand side, down in the column. Click on that and you'll see the listing.

There will always be places or access to which one is denied, whether a child or an adult. That's part of life. Try not to take it personally, then, fill that void with places you can go!

Oh, please don't be condescending. I think these are valid questions (and confusing aspects of PC) that not everyone has figured out. I've been around awhile and I'm just today learning about this stuff (and still don't quite have it figured out).

I was accessing it from quick links. Is that the same?

[(JD)]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

Oh, please don't be condescending. I think these are valid questions (and confusing aspects of PC) that not everyone has figured out. I've been around awhile and I'm just today learning about this stuff (and still don't quite have it figured out).

Sorry you are taking things personally. That isn't condescending. Actually, when you have questions about the site, you need to be asking a moderator or admin. We thought we'd help you out with support and a direction for using your situation positively.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

I was accessing it from quick links. Is that the same?

Social groups from the quick links yes but the social group FORUMS are at the bottom of the main PC page.

Hope this helps.

[thine_self_untrue]

Aww, Hippie, what a horrible memory! I'm really sorry that finding out about hidden forums triggered that.
I really don't think that forums are hidden to purposefully exclude or hurt anyone's feelings. Know that PC is not a popularity contest or a high school- you are accepted for who you are, and as you are!

Hello, Hippie. When you were ostracized from a birthday party because of a status beyond your control, you rightly felt the sting of discrimination. Now you can choose to recognize you have a choice about how you feel about being denied access to an invitation only group.

You know you are a good person who has much to offer the world. Those who would not have you are the problem. Do not make another problem by obsessing about the thought processes of those who wish to narrow their viewpoint instead of expand it.

Love yourself. Be well.

[Hippie]

I WAS obsessing about "those who wish to narrow their viewpoint." Thank you for putting it in perspective.
I felt like an astronaut on a space walk and the tether broke. I DO have control over how I react to exclusion. I only have high esteem for integrated places and groups in 3D life, so it is pretty inane to obsess on a laptop.

[lynn P.]

I think what Byz said, made a lot of sense. I do wish though, there wasn't that option when a person is making a group - to choose the 'invitation only' option. That way a member who's sensitive wouldn't feel hurt. If I was making a group, I would leave it open to anyone who wants to join. I can relate to the feeling - it's like you hear about a party that you never really wanted to go to - but then you don't get invited and then you at least wish you were given the choice lol.

[Hippie]

exactly, Lynn

[venusss]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

Oh, please don't be condescending. I think these are valid questions (and confusing aspects of PC) that not everyone has figured out. I've been around awhile and I'm just today learning about this stuff (and still don't quite have it figured out).

I actually agree with what he said.

You will not always get where you want in your life. I think most of us here have some bad memories from our childhood, but that is over and now we need to learn for ourselves.

And perhaps some groups are not private because they are for cool-only, but because some of the stuff talked there is personal and not something you want to trumphet all over the internets. I would not compare it to a party... but if you have a problem, will you call all your family and friends to talk about it, or will you just tell to one or few people? Some things are difficult to talk about, embarassing, personal(ish).

Invite only option is for people who are anxious. Social anxiety on the Internet... yes, it exists.