[birdcrazy]

I know from past experience people see me as strange... but I wonder what the new people I just met think about me. I feel if I ask them up front, they won't tell me the truth, or if I say I have mental problems like I did with my last roommates, they will treat me different, or in the case of one roommate say they knew all along.

I feel like I want to act as normal as possible. I don't see anything unusual about them, except maybe the fact nobody wants to socialize much, and even though I am bad at it I want to and it's driving me crazy.

Suggestions?

[perpetuallysad]

Well, if they are your friends they will just naturally want to be around you. I'm not sure exactly what the situation is, but (at least for me) I do not go around people I don't like. And for me to like someone I have to have a good opinion of them. Just because someone may be able to "tell" that you have mental health issues doesn't mean you are walking around all weird or anything. They may just be attuned to other people's feelings and moods well?

That all being said, I'm incredibly awkward socially, so I do not generally try to have friends. When I do, I usually do things to screw it up. I don't know. I wish you luck though.

You can tell if you're "odd" to others just by how they act around you or treat you. I get it all time..I just sort of lack real life social skills unless I really click with someone.

I wouldn't tell people you have mental problems..that just makes you the elephant in the room because they're watching and waiting to see it.

[ruffy]

Birdcrazy...I think everyone is odd including myself!! I think being genuine, and kind and loving, and treating others the way you would want to be treated speaks for itself whether you are socially challenged or not. You will attract the same kind of people. I am very shy in social situations and have found that if I look around and search for that one person sitting by themselves and plant myself next to them, we hit it off pretty well. They usually wind up being just as shy as I am, and just as fabulous!! Then I just keep adding to the group. I'll get up, invite another person sitting alone to join us and so on. Next thing you know you are surrounded by shy but fabulous people, and you can just be yourself!!!!

I am not concerned if they think I am odd.

[birdcrazy]

Well, one of my problems is thinking about other dxs I could have, but most of this shadow syndrome stuff I think just makes me odd and doesn't handicap me, my uncontrollable emotions and psychosis that goes with it is what handicaps me and what I'm on meds for.

But something still distances me from other human beings. I have never been well liked by most people, and I just act different than they do. I don't like normal things, I like weird things.

I mean, there are people in this house now, but they are all off doing their own things, and I crave some sort of social interaction even if I'm not that good at it. Why is this making me so sad?

You have given reasons for not having quality social interaction. If you cannot find others with your same interests then it seems to you need to change your interests to accommodate others to bring about the desired social interaction.

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by birdcrazy

...I wonder what the new people I just met think about me. I feel if I ask them up front, they won't tell me the truth...

They could very well still be waiting to see what the "truth" is for them. I was wondering -- if one of them were to ask you what you thought of them, would you have a satisfactory answer right away? Would you feel you were telling the whole truth or keeping something back?

I feel like I want to act as normal as possible.

Uh-oh! I'm pretty sure it's been precisely those times when I've been trying hardest to act normal, that everyone else has been surest I had to be crazy.

I don't see anything unusual about them, except maybe the fact nobody wants to socialize much, and even though I am bad at it I want to and it's driving me crazy.

What you just said could probably stand some more looking into:

They apparently don't want to socialize much but you're still looking to them as the ones you want to socialize with? Because they happen to be closest? Because they're a bigger challenge?

You say you're "bad" at socializing (it's not clear in whose opinion or by what standard) but you want to anyway? What do you get from doing it, in that case?

I was thinking you'd probably get more opportunities to socialize with other birders than you'd know what to do with. Back in my birding days (such as they were! lol) we'd sometimes spend the day doing a count or something. Then, when I was already good and tired and ready to head home, all the counters from that area (between 50 and 100, of whom I knew only the 5 from my team) would get together and celebrate over dinner. There I'd be, thinking birding would be more fun if it weren't for all the socializing I also got corralled into.

As I recall, the main advantage for me of socializing with birders was that they didn't think it was weird for me to be interested in birds -- no weirder than for them, anyway.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by birdcrazy

I know from past experience people see me as strange... but I wonder what the new people I just met think about me. I feel if I ask them up front, they won't tell me the truth, or if I say I have mental problems like I did with my last roommates, they will treat me different, or in the case of one roommate say they knew all along.

I feel like I want to act as normal as possible. I don't see anything unusual about them, except maybe the fact nobody wants to socialize much, and even though I am bad at it I want to and it's driving me crazy.

Suggestions?

I used to worry about this. mostly after I had been diagnosed DID. It was unnerving to me to know I did things I could not remember doing and what people must think of me because of it. But my therapist asked me one day "do you have things you like?" I told her yea. She said you you have things you hate? I said yea. She said do I expect people to like the same things I do? I said no. she said do you expect people to hate the same things you do? I said no. She asked me if I like every person I encounter. I said no. She asked do I hate everybody I encounter? I said no. she asked if there were people that I found to be weird, strange or uncomfortable to be around. I said yes. then she said so theres all kinds of people in this city just like you with their own likes and dislikes. I said of course. She said then doesn't it stand to reason that just like you there are some people in this city that will like you and others that will not like you and some that are going to think you are weird, strange and uncomfortable to be around? I said yea. She said thats human nature. We all have our own brains to form our own opinions about people. its part of being human not to be exactly like each other so its human nature to have our own likes, dislikes and what we find attractive or offensive, weird or strange in other people. If we spend our life time trying to appeal to others likings where would we be? Trying to become clones of each other and leaving our own happiness and well being out in the cold. better to focus on our own happiness and wellbeing and those that find us attractive, desirable and likable will be there for us and the rest. they can find their own people that they do find attractive, desirable and likable.

[El-ahrairah]

Um I just be me and that usually ends up knowing im odd and then I make friends with fellow odd people lol

[ceje]

I find odd endearing. I have quite the "odd" grouping of friends. So don't worry maybe you'll meet me.