[brighteyesxo]

I'm 16 years old and my best friend is my cousin. She lives about 2 hours from me but we talk on the phone and online quite often. We have so many things in common except one thing: she was brought up to believe that doctors can't do squat, chiropractors are god, and medicine is for wimps.

I am the exact opposite of this. I myself am actually a bit of a hypochondriac and if it were up to me instead of my mom I'd be at the doctor every week. Besides that, I also think I may have depression and recently also I think I may have a social anxiety problem (my awkwardness is literally ruining my life). I've never verbalized my question about depression to anyone in real life, but last night after I got home from a party in which I stood in a corner all night in fear of being laughed at, I made a post on a blog site about Social Anxiety Disorder. I looked up the definition and bolded the things that applied to me. My cousin replied to the post saying, "You know I can't not reply to this. This is BS, everyone has these problems even me. Doctors just make this stuff up to get your money."

Now I try not to let her get to me usually, but this really hurt. The depression (which I now am certainly never going to tell her about) I think is very real to me and I'm working on telling my parents. I don't doubt that it's real. But the social issues now. I'm having all sorts of second thoughts.

I don't want to try to talk to her about it. She's headstrong and it is impossible to negotiate with her. But how do I ignore it? Has anyone else ever faced someone like this? How did you deal with it?

[Typo]

((((((((((Brighteyes)))))))))))

Sadly skeptics are part of life, and will be there in every aspect and subject matter in life, it hurts, I have and do deal with this on a regulary basis,

One thing I have found that helps is knowing you know the truth, everyone can say as they please and throw in their skeptisms and doubt, but at the end of the day if you feel these are real concerns for you, then you have to take comfort in that you know they are and you have to do what is best for you in dealing with those issues (seeking professional help, medication, therapy, etc.)

I'm so sorry your cousin is treating you like that, I know how much it hurts, I hope things can be settled between y'all

Best Wishes
Typo

[Perna]

It's hard when you're just learning about situations away from home and how to deal with them, etc. People, as you see with you and your cousin, approach the learning situations different ways, depending on their own previous experiences. It's okay that your cousin doesn't like doctors, you don't have to figure things out the same way she does. Just tell your parents you would like to go see your family doctor for a physical and to talk to him/her, you have some personal questions you'd like to ask him/her, etc.

Emily, you have received some good advice. I simply will add please do not let someone else define who you are. You certainly are not a wimp for seeking help with possible illnesses.

Love yourself. Be well.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by brighteyesxo

...Now I try not to let her get to me usually, but this really hurt. The depression (which I now am certainly never going to tell her about) I think is very real to me and I'm working on telling my parents. I don't doubt that it's real. But the social issues now. I'm having all sorts of second thoughts.

I don't want to try to talk to her about it. She's headstrong and it is impossible to negotiate with her. But how do I ignore it? Has anyone else ever faced someone like this? How did you deal with it?

It would be very nice if everyone could understand and be supportive. It would also be nice to feel understood by one of your closest friends. However, that doesn't always happen. Depression, anxiety etc... unfortunately are illnesses of the mind. A lot of people think that we can just "will" ourselves out of it. If only....

Most of the time, the people that hate doctors do so only until they really need one...

It helps me sometimes to try and maintain a generosity of spirit, accept people's limitations and try to be friends with them anyway. This may be a topic that you simply can not talk to her about. If it ends up causing you stress, then it likely isn't worth it.

You are unlikely to change her thinking, but you can try to develop an acceptance for it - even though she is unable to give you the same acceptance. She may "grow into it" or, heaven forbid, it may happen to her.

How are you doing, Emily?

[sunrise]

brighteyes, sometimes there are topics that people just do not agree on, and it is therefore best not to continue to talk about these topics with that person. Often it is religion or politics. With you and your cousin, it is the value of medical treatment. Perhaps you can just agree to disagree on this and not bring it up anymore. Enjoy all you do have in common.

How did your cousin discover that you had posted on a blog site for Social Anxiety? If you shared that with her, and then she went and read it--well, perhaps best not to share your whereabouts on the Internet with her.

I agree with talking to someone about depression. I think your family doctor is a good place to start. Good luck.

How are you doing, Emily?