The art of being supportive.

I have been on these forums a long, long time and it is such a wonderful and diverse place.

Offering support is an art (imo) it does take practice and indeed I have got it wrong many times myself in the past. It is a learning experience. Learn. Share. Grow. As the Psych Central motto says.

Use PC to help yourself and others, support the posts that you feel you can positively contribute to. Being supportive means helping a person along their journey with comfort and wisdom. These two words can mean so much, 'comfort' what many of us were lacking in childhood and now also. 'Wisdom' words that can move us forward, yes that can include advice but without thrusting it down someones throat. It's not what you say but how you say it.

It does not help anyone at all to reply to something that we are triggered by. We feel bad, the original poster feels bad and no good comes from it other than hard feelings.

Also, don't forget PC has wonderful tools for self-care. The ignore feature means you can stop seeing the body of posts of someone that triggers you. Just go to the members profile and next to 'send message' is a tab saying, 'User lists' click on that then click, 'Ignore' Job done and then you can get on with enjoying Psych Central, supporting others and asking for support.

Happy supporting!

I know that I do the best I can. I don't always offer advice but I really try to offer support by just giving a few words such as "I'm sorry for your pain", or whatever. I always appreciate it when I receive the same. I obviously do not answer every post, but again, do the best I can.

This place means a lot to me. It really does.

I totally agree with you Sabrina, this place is a lifeline for many of us and your offering of, ' I'm sorry for your pain.' can mean so much to someone. Reaching out a kind hand to someone and letting them know that they are heard can be a massive gift.

thanks.

another thing you can do is if you arent sure about your replys the moderators can help you. Im not always sure about my own posts/replys so I have the moderators checking all my posts/replys first that way both me and the moderators can catch any problems with my replys before they get seen by others.

Yesterday I saw a post somewhere forget where it was but someone didnt realize they have the ignore thingy pegasas talked about, and someone else took time to explain it. then I saw a sticky on the eating disorder forum that had right in it how to use the ignore thingy. I pmed one of the moderators with a suggestion of putting a sticky about the ignore thingy on all the forum boards that way how to use it is right there in the forum boards we are reading right then and so that those that dont visit all the forums will learn about the ignore thingy. not to mention this is the 4th or 5th time this week (during the past 7 days that is) this topic has come up.

Hi Pegasus, when I hear something like this I immediately get self conscious and wonder, are my posts bad or mean or ill-spirited. I would never want a post of mine to do more harm than good. I feel like I am well intentioned but I would just as soon not post than post something that would hurt anyone. I hope if my posts whether a thread or a reply ever do anything to be a problem that I will be told so I can learn from the mistake. I don't know whether or not you are talking about posters like me or some of my posts but I do know that if you are I am so sorry.

I know what you mean shaggy dog-----sometimes I wonder if I said the right thing,

or perhaps went a little overboard.

Thanks for the reminder (((Pegasus))) and (((Sabrina)))--theo

Thank you for the post, pegasus. Sometimes I get the impression that respondents post more for the sport than the support. I also recognize I really need to pay attention to the guidelines in view of the number of PMs I get questioning what I have said.

Be well.

Sorry, just want to add that this post was just a reminder and for the most part we do all try our best.

shaggy dog and theo, I'm sorry this post made you question your support, it was not meant to make anyone feel bad.

One of the best ways to support others is this >>>>>>>>>> I offer this to you and everyone. More can be said with this smilie than words at times.

Keep enjoying PC!

Except that that one has never made much sense to me!

I like this one better!