do you care?

What if you were hit by a car while walking to work? Wouldn't you want someone to come over, call and ambulance, and try to help you? I think most people would want that and that is why we should care what happens to others. If you don't care what happens to others, then why should anyone care what happens to you? Just think what a terrible world it would be if everyone just ignored what was going on around them. It would be a world I would not like to live in. We have to keep each other in check. Hence caring about others and hence laws that attempt to prevent harm to individuals. Including yourself. If no one cared enough to make laws, you would be in a much less safe environment. It is evolutionarily advantageous for people to care bc it helps our species survive.

I do not feel "special" feelings for the armed services, because they are not all saints. Have you not read of some the rapes that are commited in the name of "war"? I question the mentality of those that join the armed forces, I question the mentaily of going to war. Just because you choose to put on a uniform doesnt automactically bring out empaphy for me. The innocent women and children killed in war have more a claim on my heart strings, I dont like being told I should go along with the goverments decision on war and go along with someones decision to choose the army ad a career choice and stand with candles sobbing when it has nothing to do with me. I was raised during the IRA bombings in london, funded by AMerican monies, and the innocent women and children out shopping that died, now thats sad!

.........

Hello Nsomthin,

- some people use a brush to paint, others a chisel to sculpt ... some people 'care' with their feelings, some with their intellects, see the examples above

- you already changed your stance, first you said you don't care, now it's simply difficult (like for most people I expect)

- I don't know if you're young or (like me) middle aged but it can be a growth area and into an individual style too

- I don't have a TV. Now that I have mixed more I care (by thinking) about most of the people I have met but don't show it because I am shy. I even find I am short of energy to pray ...

Melbadaze

I totally get what your saying. I am against war unless it is absolutely necessary, and I do NOT believe this one was necessary.

My son joined the military for several reasons. We had no money to send him to college, didn't qualify for any loans, and he could not find employment. The only opportunity available around here was "gangbanger" or "drug-dealer," but he knew that would break my heart.

The final straw came when he found out a friend of his joined the Marines and went to Iraq. His friend was semi-disabled on his left side after suffering a stroke. They became friends at a skating rink because all the kids were teasing the boy, calling him a "retard." How this kid got into the Marines is beyond me, but he did.

My son decided to join the military for the purpose of "Search and Rescue," and he trained with the Seals in Florida. He excelled in all the land tests, but drowned several times during his water testing. He's great in a pool, but had no experience with high sea activities. He also excelled in his weapons training, so they talked him into joining the Special Forces.

With all do respect, I don't think the purpose of this thread was to begin a spiel about the ethics and logic of going to or being in a war, or whether or not we should have feelings for those who are in a war.

So... for the sake of resuming the topic discussion... I agree with ladoctora's statement that empathy is beneficial to the species. I, however, disagree with the car accident analogy. Although I am otherwise incapable of most emotions including "caring," I will, nonetheless, aid in preserving the lives of those in a car accident. I'm actually a better candidate to be savior than those emotion capable folk. That is, those emotion capable folk are more likely to be overwhelmed by horror and grief and will hesitate to take action. I, on the other hand, will act automatically and efficiently without being hindered by emotions. I see what needs to be done and I react; I don't second guess out of fear or whatever else you people have to deal with...

Point in case - Ted Bundy, before his fall into murderous endeavors, dove into a lake and saved the life of a young girl who was drowning. Without his courageous act, she would have certainly died. Did he care about the girl? Not necessarily. He wasn't capable of such things. He merely saw an opportunity and took it.

There is bad and good in every sitation, there are going to be people that do horrible things and harm other people, even those in possessions of power and authority. However many people that join the military or emergecy services generally do so for the reason they were created, to help, protect, and serve. I myself almost joined the military out of high school and for a year in college was pursuing a degree in Criminal Justice to go on and work as a K-9 police officer. I realized quickly though with my mental illness I wouldn't be able to handle the stress from either of those paths correctly and in the end would not be able to do the best of my ablilty to help others. I know many police officers, many vetrans, and many people still in the military, they are good hearted people that wanted to help and serve. Something I myself would have done if not for my PTSD and bipolar II disorder.

War is an ugly thing, I am not a fan of war, I don't think anyone is, everyone looses in a war, everyone is hurt and wounded in one way or another. My heart goes out to anyone, civlilans, soliders, etc, that have to experince that. It is a horrible thing. Something that I can never comprehend because I haven't had the experince, something many of us will never comprhened because we have never had to be in that situation.

I light a candle because the people that died, all of them, where someone's loved ones, and every person deserves that respect, it is a not a self centered display of my emotions, it is my showing respect for those that died and the suffering they had to endure.

Myers - I think there are levels of caring - from "savior" to casual observer. All of them good, as long as the person gives from the heart.

Ted Bundy's "heroic" move didn't come from the heart. He just wanted to trick people into believing he was a saintly person, a chance to show off his smooth moves and receive some accolades for himself. He tricked a lot of people with those smooth moves. It gave him cover and clearance to continue destroying the lives of other women.

It's not about smooth moves and what you can take in this world that matters - it's what you give.

I care because.....except for the grace of God...therego I.

If it was up to the people who had a heart, there would be one less girl in the world.

And what of those who are incapable of having a heart? Should we all go on a murderous rampage so not to be misleading? Or save the drowning girl anyway, because no one else noticed her? I'll dive in and save her, heart or no. And if that makes me no better than Ted, ... well, I guess I'm no better than him either way...

((Myers)) - You may have the smooth moves and courage to dive in and save people, but you're not the same as Ted Bundy. I wouldn't even place you in the same category.

If our hearts are beating, we all have a heart. What we do with our heart is up to us.

The Wizard turns out to be a "humbug" and can only provide a placebo heart made of velvet and filled with sawdust. However, this is enough to please the Tin Woodman, who, with or without a heart, was all along the most tender and emotional of Dorothy's companions (just as the Scarecrow was the wisest and the Cowardly Lion the bravest). When he accidentally crushes an insect, he is grief-stricken and, ironically, claims that he must be careful about such things, while those with hearts do not need such care.

-- from the Wikipedia article, Tin Woodman

i dont think caring has anything to do with helping someone. if i saw someone get hit by a car i would probably help to the extent that i legaly can (i wouldnt touch them or anything because i dont want to be sued and that is a possibility) but i dont know maybe i wouldnt help. hmm im not, sure ive never been in a situation where i could help someone like that. and i dont think most laws are created because 'caring' i doubt the legal system cares at all.

and i also disagree that it helps the species survive(it does help some people survive though) i think it slows down progress. it always seems that the most ruthless people that thrive and make it the farthest.


i dont think i would care whether or not the person that saved me did it from there heart

I wouldn't either if I were in a desperate situation. If I were stuck at the bottom of a lake, I'd accept the paw of a tiger if he dove in to save me. It wouldn't necessarily mean he was a heroic savior of human beings, expert in the field of "care," and could be trusted with children - especially when he becomes hungry.

Figuratively, I have no heart. Ted and I are one in the same, in that respect. But, like Ted, I'll help a person in need. Do my intentions matter?

Au contraire, most of them end up in prison. The most ruthless and most intelligent make it the farthest, in certain areas of life. Also, those types of people don't work well with others the vast majority of the time. If everyone was like that, we'd get nowhere as a species. There are people who are meant to be ruthless, efficient leaders, and there are people who are followers... The latter group has a significantly higher number.

I don't think I'd help anyone - unless I knew them.
I'd probably just watch.

Mostly because I know they wouldn't do the same for me and I don't really like touching people.

That's a scary notion...

I respectively disagree. I think the vast majority of people would at the very least call the police and, in the hypothetical car accident, stop and make sure you're okay. I called the police and spent ten minutes applying pressure to a woman's head wound and assessing the extent of her injuries when she crashed her scooter (completely ruining my shirt, I might add), and I don't even have empathy. There were at least ten other complete strangers there helping, calling the police, worrying... People really do care. I should know; I'm an expert judge of these things.

Yes - it's a good deed. It certainly matters to the person you helped.

If you believe you are as ruthless as Ted, I believe you. It's not my place to categorize you anyway - or to tell you what path to follow in life. I won't be expecting any sympathy cards from you.

Has the thread gone off topic???/
(((nsomething))))) How are you doing?

why? im not sure how i am, i guess kind of blank

"i dont care at all, unless it affects me in some way"

You care if it affects you. Sounds normal to me. Why be confused?

from what ive read it is not normal to not care about others, and i am confused because i dont know why i dont care and why do people care about other people.

But you already admitted you do care if with some difficulty.

Normal living poses a degree of difficulty for everybody.

Why say you have got a problem when you've said you haven't?

lol i shouldn't post when im irritated (not because of this because of an unrelated matter)
i do i hide the extent that i dont care for others because i dont want people to hate me, i care for my dog and my family (intermediate family) i dont know if i have a problem so might and i might not.

Some people are more naturally empathetic than others. If you survive a tornado, you will naturally feel something when another story about another tornado comes on TV. If you live in a safe area, it will feel more irrelevant. Most mature people will feel a certain responsiblity and empathy, a connectedness, to those in their community. ie you don't have to have a child to know how much it would hurt to lose one. Also, being aware of issues in your community is a civic responsibility. Our form of government relies on people educating themselves and taking an interest in important issues. So, yes, I do think it matters.

I would worry particularly if your lack of empathy becomes callousness. In it's extreme, it would be considered a hurtful character flaw.