[Michah]

For those of you that know me, I was a bit of a juvenile delinquent in my youth and young adulthood. There where a couple of times that I came close to losing my freedom, and thank my mental health team of that time, in keeping me on the straight and narrow.

I have done many bad things in the past, and I spent many years, asking for forgiveness and being forgiven. I took the consequences of my actions and paid my karmic dues, but I never got over my terrible fear of the police.

I have Aspergers Syndrome. I did not know it at the time, and even if I did, it is not an excuse for my behaviour, but at least I would have been able to communicate my fear of being touched or handled. I would have been able to warn those police officers just doing their job, that I might react instinctively if they touched me in a certain way, or if they startled me, I would be likely to bite them if a fearful attempt to protect myself. I cannot even begin to explain the terrible sense of mortality that would come over me when dealing with them. And due to my lack of eye contact, or my instant mutism, or my semi-catatonic state that would steal over me as my sympathetic nervous system shut down, they would make my life hell. They would misinterpret the signs and accuse me of being uncooperative. In disgust, they would throw me in hospital, and I hated them with every fibre of my being.

My therapist, who is an AS specialist, has come up with an idea. He wants me to sit down with a police officer in a place of my choosing and tell that person how I feel. My deep distrust of them, the fact that I will cross the street to get away from them, the fact that every time I come within feet of a police officer I feel that I am going to have a full scale melt down. My T has contacts in the police service who actually do this kind of thing. They go out and talk to people who have a fear of the police.

I am both terrified and strangely exhilarated. I will be very honest. I will own up to my behaviour and be forgiven. I will also forgive........and make peace with them so I can live without at least one fear that dominates my life.

Michah

[Nsomthin]

thats good for you. its really hard to face a fear, and to forgive is at times more of a challenge. i hope that it all goes well.

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by Michah

My therapist, who is an AS specialist, has come up with an idea. He wants me to sit down with a police officer in a place of my choosing and tell that person how I feel. My deep distrust of them, the fact that I will cross the street to get away from them, the fact that every time I come within feet of a police officer I feel that I am going to have a full scale melt down. My T has contacts in the police service who actually do this kind of thing. They go out and talk to people who have a fear of the police.

I am both terrified and strangely exhilarated. I will be very honest. I will own up to my behaviour and be forgiven. I will also forgive........and make peace with them so I can live without at least one fear that dominates my life.

Michah

Wow! You feel the same way I do about police!!! I hate them, they scare me and I want them to stay away from me. I don't think I could every do what your T suggests you do. I mean, seek out an officer and talk the them about your fears???? Ummm...I commend you if you can do that.

[Indie'sOK]

Police are not all that they seem, at least not ALL of them. I grew up around officers, and have a heavy respect for them which I'm sure most of you know. I think it is great that you are doing this, and I wish you strength to put this matter to rest. Why some people hate cops is beyond me...I can understand if one had a bad experience with an officer, but to take that opinion about all cops is wrong. But I won't get into it now

[sabby]

(((((((((((( Michah )))))))))))))

I see this situation as no different than facing any other fears and bad experiences anyone has had in their lives. It's part of the healing process. It's part of the learning experiences in life that help us build a better life for ourselves.

I commend you for being willing to face that fear, for being willing to tell them in your own words with support from your T how certain situations trigger certain reactions and for being willing to listen to an officer as well. To forgive and to be forgiven is a huge thing too.

You are a brave individual who is continually working on herself to be the best she can be. I am proud to know you and I support you in your journey.


sabby

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

Police are not all that they seem, at least not ALL of them. I grew up around officers, and have a heavy respect for them which I'm sure most of you know. I think it is great that you are doing this, and I wish you strength to put this matter to rest. Why some people hate cops is beyond me...I can understand if one had a bad experience with an officer, but to take that opinion about all cops is wrong. But I won't get into it now

Hi Indie's. Well, some of us have had soooo many horrible experiences with numerous officers from numerous cities that we have every right to feel the way we do. I don't want to feel this way anymore because I know it's not right that ALL officers are the same. T is helping me with this.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((((((Micah))))))))

I think that is very brave and very exciting at the fact that you will be able to move forward...please remember one thing...this isn't an opportunity to swear at coppers and to call them all the names under the sun without being charged for it...

I really do hope it goes well for you...it's about time the police had real understanding of people with mental illness and issues of phobic nature...it may lead to much fewer people ending up in jail...good work!

Rhiannon

(((((( Michah ))))))

http://www.forgiving.org/conference_...nference_1.htm

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by onlymedid

Hi Indie's. Well, some of us have had soooo many horrible experiences with numerous officers from numerous cities that we have every right to feel the way we do. I don't want to feel this way anymore because I know it's not right that ALL officers are the same. T is helping me with this.

(((((onlymedid)))))) Good for you It's good that you're working on this x