[jen29]

Hi,

So a lot of things have happened since I last posted. I don't think I stopped moving till yesterday when I accidentally took my bedtime meds in the morning...oops. It was probably a good thing but I didn't get anything done.

I signed my lease for my new apt. on Friday and saw it for the first time. It is pretty small but very livable for just me. Brand new carpet and paint. I am going to start moving the boxes and tubs that have and can move in my dad's vehicle when the day starts and then will use my mom's jeep for the rest of the week while she is at work so can put more in it. I am doing most of the things on my own. Friday my step-dad and mom are going to help with my furniture. I don't know how this is going to work, but pray it work good cause my step-dad has spinal stenosis and my mom has a brand new knee. I don't understand why my dad won't help out during the week. He hasn't offered and I know if I ask he'll say no cause he has never helped once when I have moved. i just want to get in there and start my unpacking and get that done so that i can be ok for a day or so.

Next Sunday I am leaving for a little over a week to go camping with my sister and brother on my dad's side of the family. I haven't camped in over 13years so I hope my back will be ok. I will have an airmattress so that will be good. One thing that isn't good is that I won't see my therapist for 2 weeks in a row if I go, which I already told my sister I would go. I so need my T right now and she is on vacation and then I will be, maybe will be ok????

I so need to get away and relax, even when I go to PT they tell me to relax and I told them I don't know the meaning of that word.... they told me we can tell you are so tense. One of my PTs said that i am the most tense patient she has seen. not good. she gave me a cd to help me learn how to relax and it talks you through motions and things like that, i fell asleep to it for 5 hours last night listening to it.

I have no clue when I am going to be able to get my cable, internet, and phone cause it's going to cost close or maybe even a little more than $200 just to get the 1st month paid plus instalation...omg i don't even have that left after paying rent, deposit, some rent where am staying with my dad right now and other bills i pay on monthly basis. So it could be 3 weeks with no internet or cable. I have internet on my phone so will be able to check mail and things like that, just can't really chat with anyone. Oh well, hope something will work out.

Also have learned that my food stamps will most likely go down and that I may have to lose the help I get in paying for some of my medical insurance. I won't be paying utilities cause they are included except for phone and then i will pay air conditioning in June of next year if I get an airconditioner. It's all so overwhelming me to and I know I should just take one thing at a time, but I am one that worries a great deal about a lot of things, and my dad is like it's not a big deal and things like that.

Ok, so I have written enough, I probably could go on and on, but am thinking that these things are really nothing compared to what really goes on in people's lives. I am just ready to crack and I hate that feeling.

Take care everyone and thanks for listening.

hugs,
Jen

Moving is not all that fun. I hope you find a way to get it all done without so much stress.

Good luck.

[Moreta]

Remember to take care of yourself in the upcoming weeks.

Sending positive thoughts your way.

[Yoda]

Jen, I think you have got a whole lot going on. Somewhere in there try to get some rest.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((((((jen))))))))

These things are important in your life, so no matter what happens in the lives of others what is important in your life IS just as important.

I couldn't imagine my life at the moment without the computer and internet. It is my window onto the world, it is how I interact with people. To have that taken away from me would be very upsetting.

Is it possible to borrow the money from your mum & stepdad or dad? To be honest I can't understand your dad charging you rent...paying for food and utilities yes but not rent...that just seems peevish to me (though I don't know your situation and don't want to judge anyone).

Remember you can contact a local charity to see if they will help you to move, nothing is impossible.

I really hope you enjoy the camping trip

[jen29]

Thanks everyone,

Today has been a hard day. One of the hardest I have faced in a while. I just want it done, but it doesn't happen like that. I am going to start moving tomorrow and just move what I can daily till most of it's moved by thursday night and then Friday will have what's left.

Am not sure about camping, my dad says that I should really go and that I will have lots of fun...alcohol will be there and that is a trigger from childhood even though I can be around people who drink but not to get drunk. And being gone for 8 days sounds like fun, but am not sure, I don't really know. I am also going to have to go 2 weeks without seeing T and that is kinda scary and have a lot of other feelings along with it.

Thanks for listening everyone
Jen

[Rhiannonsmoon]

You will make the best decisions for you and that is what is important; if you can't go 2 weeks with T then you shouldn't go camping...

[perpetuallysad]

I am not sure I've ever "talked" to you before, so HI! I think, if you can handle it, that going on vacation, especially camping would be GREAT! While camping can be very relaxing, it can also be engrossing. Maybe if you go, you will enjoy being with your brother and sister and nature and "forget" about t and everything else for a while. I hope you go and have a great time.