[imatter2]

Every time I get into a depressive mood I live with a near constant state of fear that my husband of 13 years is going to finally get sick of me "this time" and leave. I can't work, I can't function (almost all childcare, housework etc falls on him, he usually ends up taking unpaid time off work), I mope and cry and get angry a lot; additionally I'm expensive to care for (meds, psychiatrist etc), I find *myself* obnoxiously annoying, how can he not? I know, if he hasn't left in 13 years of dealing with this, why would I expect different "this time" right?

Right now in the middle of it all he's off to Arizona on an unavoidable business trip - I'm terrified that he just won't come home.

[imatter2]

oops! Still learning the site - should probably have posted this in Relationships forum! Is cross-posting acceptable here?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello phrick don't worry it'll get moved...

Try not to stress about your hubby. Know it's hard sometimes get the same feelings but he's still here and we're fine. We get really down on ourselves when we are in a depression and so we expect the worst.

Please try to have faith in your hubby, he's stayed this long so methinks he really loves you,

Rhiannon

Hello, Phrick. Perhaps you could love yourself more, like your husband does?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/43633
http://www.lifescript.com/Soul/Self/...nment.aspx?p=1

[perpetuallysad]

I get the exact same way. Except I expect my husband to leave mostly when I am in my sort of weirdly upset, anxious, racing thoughts moods. I have such a hard time pinning thoughts down in my mind that I figure I must be driving him insane, I will have whole entire conversations "with him" without even opening my mouth, during which I usually determine he should leave, or I should leave to save him the trouble. Whenever I do manage to blurt out some of this stuff, he always swears that he would never leave, but even when he's saying it I have difficulty believing it. ****, I know I couldn't put up with someone like myself (as I can hardly handle myself inside my own brain!), so why would any one else put up with me?

My husband travels A LOT on business, sometimes gone for weeks at a time, sometimes only every other day or so... I find that when he's gone for a long time is when I get more afraid (or sure) that he's going to leave me because I call him and I'm always a basket case when we start talking, even if I try to hold it all in and not bother him.

Geeze, I guess my phone calls probably ramble on a lot like this particular post.

Anyhow, according to my husband and my t/pdoc, this is irrational fear and me placing my feelings on him, without actually knowing how he feels.

Hm, not sure any of this will help.

[Manipulated-Minds]

Mine has dealt with me for 6, and all of the work falls on him as well. He doesn't seem to mind it at all. I don't think he will leave you if he's stayed with you for 13 years through all of it.

[imatter2]

just found out he has to stay in AZ on the business trip an extra day, now my mind is f***ing with me - does he HAVE TO stay or does he "have to" stay? Tomorrow will he call and say he "has to" stay Thursday as well?? Is there a smiley for "tearing hair out while banging head against wall and weeping"? If so, please insert <here>