Restraining Order?????????????/

What should I put in my restraining order for my ex fiance? We lived together for about a year and the relationship ended by him going into the hospital the fifth time in our relationship for him overdosing, trying to kill himself because I broke up with him. He was committed for six months and has recently gotten out. I changed my number and had it nonpublished and told him not to call me on that number and the phone company messed up so he ended up getting it. I feel threatened by him. He is an alcoholic and has resumed drinking. I mean if he doesn't value his own life how can he value the life of anyone eles's? He knows where I live. I don't want him in my life, he was never hit me but when we went out I always felt I had to stay with him or he would kill me or himself. Now that he is no longer committed I fear that he has only gotten crazier and more obsessive......what should I do?

you must be feeling scared now and if you are scared of him, by all means, get a restraining order. if you can, change your phone number again. put it back on the phone company. if they messed up, have it changed. i'm sorry that you're going through this now......xoxox pat

Hi,

I am so sorry you are going through this. You must be terrified. Please go get a restraining order. Call the phone company and change your phone number. Explain a phone company employee gave out the number so you won't be charged again.

Do you have a friend who can come and stay for a night or two? That would help.

Be careful and please let us know how you are doing.

Jan

first you need to report to the police that this is happening through them you will be able to get a resraining order that states he cannot come with 500 feet of you and/or where you live. Once the order is issued neither one of you can come within 500 feet of each other - he can be arrested and your doing so invalidates the order in some states you violating your own restraining order can result in your arrest so be sure the police explain the terns and so on completely to you before you sign and go before the judge who will sign it. Then the police will serve it to him making it clear to him if he violates it and you call to have it enforced he WILL be arrested. I would also suggest that the very first time he violates it (and most do just to see if the person will follow through with having it enforced) you have it enforced. otherwise the harrassment and so on could get worse because he he will know you won't enforce it if you dont the first time. Domestic violence agencies can and most likely will help support you through the process of reporting and getting the order.

UPDATE: I got a temporary restraining order on him. I have a hearing on September 30th. I am nervous. He has decided to call all my phones numbers from our once shared cell phone bill. Which is quite annoying. So after a series of unwanted hang ups at work and among friends I decieded to pursue it. I do feel threatened. I had dreams that he killed me last night. So I figured that I needed to take the necessary steps to protect me and my family.

{{{{Cynthia}}}} I would also like to recommend you get pepper spray if you don't have it already. You can do a Google search and put in pepper spray and you can buy it for under $10.00 on the internet. I bought one that goes on my keychain. It helps me feel more safe. I'm so sorry this is happening for you. We all want to just feel safe in the world and how upsetting it is to think that someone we once loved (or liked a lot) would be unstable and could harm us. I wish you well and may you be safe at all times. I agree with the others, have your phone # changed again and get caller ID. And if he knows where you live, maybe you have a male relative who can come and stay with you for a week or two, or maybe you can go and stay somewhere else. Don't risk anything. Good luck!

Kelly