[lavieenrose]

I'm wondering if I'm too emotionally distraught to have a dog. I feel like the dogs I've had must have absorbed my craziness, i.e. anxious depressed vibes, crying. My last two, littermates, became aggressive toward other dogs. My current dog, 1 1/2 years old, large and energetic, seems to be increasingly aggressive toward certain other dogs, whereas he used to adore every dog he saw. This change is really alarming me. He got out of my yard 2 weeks ago, and a police officer reported that my dog bared his teeth at someone who reported it. I had him evaluated by a behaviorist last week, who thought that he's a great, sweet dog. She saw no signs of aggressiveness. Then yesterday and today, he went after a dog at the dog park. I got angry and yelled. He was shaking, avoided eye contact with me and was aloof for a while. All of that made me even more depressed and crying than I already was. Dogs are sensitive, and need a strong confident "alpha". I'm a lousy alpha, often in a lot of emotional pain, I live alone in a small house, am with him almost all the time. I'm affectionate with him, take him to run offleash daily at the dog park, a large trail in nature. He's an athletic 80 lb. german shepherd mix in adolescence.

Maybe this isn't the place for this issue, but I'm really suffering, feeling massive guilt for having a dog while having a crazy lifestyle and mental illness. Living on disability for depression, I don't have financial means for much beyond bare necessities. He has a nervous stomach and I wonder if the aggressive episodes are related to physical distress. The vet found all tests negative.

Does anybody who knows dogs and depression have any input? I don't know what's going on, but I'm blaming myself a lot. I want us both to be happy. I don't want this to escalate into something dangerous, as it did with my last 2 dogs. They injured another dog, were ordered to never leave my property, and that added unbearable stress to my life. I adore dogs, and wanted a sweet, easy companion, not a guard dog. I can't believe this is happening again. It must be my fault.

Also, if anyone responds, I am extremely triggered by any sad stories concerning dogs. They haunt me. Please please leave those out. And thanks.

[racee]

ok is he neutered? and also german shepherds are nervous little ones by nature...i call them little ones becasue even though they are big and strong somewhere inside them is a wimpering lil puppy. They act out becasue they are scared most of the time...not because they genuinly want to hurt another animal or just plain mean but scared!
Where your other dgs the same breed?

it's not you m manic and than i get my lows where i won't leave the bed then i go around thrashing things and just straight up crazy, and i have a wonderful poodle/westie who is only 2 and just sleeps all day very low key and just wants to cuddle. all dogs are just so different i grew up around animals worked at vet hospitals and kennels most of my life, train dogs/handler/groom and show them.

i know you have little money...the first step is getting your guy to listen to you not just at home but out walking and about. he does sound when you started talking about how he started shaking after you yelled, he sounds like he has anxiety. and not just with you (your not causing anxiety, you are not being blamed here for anything) but anxiety in general, you know they do have meds for dogs for that but this does not seem like a serious enough case to warrant that (but some dogs do and they are insane)
the only thing i can do is say surf the internet for little training bits and videos, i would tell you to go seeka trainer out but money issues...he needs constant reassurance but a fim hand. he would benefit from you beig the alpha "dog" and him following....again is he neutered?

[(JD)]

Yes I agree, neutering is key to controlling aggressive behavior. Also, try overly soothing your dog when the situation for you feels out of control at home. He will learn to do that, and in exchange will learn to go to you and soothe you when he picks up on your anxiety. Breathe.

[lavieenrose]

I had him neutered at age 6 months. The vet had seen the whole litter for their first shots. She was impressed when I brought him for his puppy follow-up, saying the whole litter were fearful, and Sherman was the best adjusted, calm and sociable. He's always been strong-willed and not very compliant. He'll do sit, down, come more easily at home than outside. I've again started walking on leash in addition to off leash at the dog park. I'm trying to not let him walk ahead of me or go through the door first. Now, I'm afraid to return to the dog park and let him off leash because of this rise in incidents of his aggressiveness to certain other dogs, nothing serious yet. But I've seen it escalate with my other two. You asked about their breed. My last two, though littermates, may have had different fathers. I fostered the litter and their mom. Mom was border collie lab. Her son was shepherd and maybe hound. Her daughter had some golden retriever.

Sherman, my present dog is half German Shepherd and half border collie lab. I don't know why these behaviors are showing up now. Nothing at home is different. I'm really in agony over this. I know I need to work on obedience, but I feel exhaustion and rock bottom despair a lot of the time. I cry a lot which might feel destabilizing to him, if I'm not anthropomorphizing too much. I feel lousy that I'm poor, lousy that I'm single and depressed and have a tiny house and not active and athletic. We're a mismatch in terms of energy level and lifestyle and I can't stop the guilt. He should have been with an active family or younger owners. I'm 55 and only getting slower. I can't imagine surrendering Sherman to a shelter and an uncertain fate. I wish I had help with him daily. Sometimes, he's so bored and wanting me to play. Affection from me isn't meeting all his needs nor is it a substitute for discipline and exercise. I have training ideas and tips already from previous trainers. I don't have the energy to put them into action. I'm sorry - I hear myself closing off all options, creating a lose-lose situation, spinning in obsessive, emotionally intense circles. I just have to force myself to do the training. I couldn't live with myself if I gave him up, unless I found just the right home for Sherman. And great homes aren't easy to find. I'm grateful for the input that you've given, JD and Racee.

[lavieenrose]

I just wanted to add that I do play with him, in the house, flinging tennis balls in the yard, and the daily hour or hour and a half at the dog park.

[Omers]

I have a Catahoula Leopard dog who is VERY dominent and active. The most simple thing that I have done with her to get the biggest impact is that when I feed her she is not to eat until given permission. When told "bowl" she brings me her dish (not important but cute) I put the food in it and put it on the floor and put her in a sit/down stay or a wait and make her to sit there a moment before I tell her to take it.
She too comes off as dog agressive But is actually just "explaining the rules" before letting you into the pack... crates a lot of problems at the dog park when people come with their dogs at the gate and mine is frothing at the mouth barking and growling... Once they are in she is fine. She goes to doggie daycare every now and then too so she can play with other dogs.
She does pick up on my moods. If I am upset she will often get pica and eat anything. She also tends to "forget" she is house broken if I am upset. My vet gave her a low dose of valium for when she gets really stressed.
Another thing that can help if you are open to these kinds of things is the Bach Flower Remidies "Rescue Remidy"

[Gus1234U]

when i became disabled, my dog acquired "symptoms" , panic attacks and over protectiveness.. but every dog is individual... i just feel that they are, generally, too sympathetic to be with someone on the emotional roller coaster without some kinds of special supports of their own,, i hope what ever you do, it's the right choice for the both of you~~~ best wishes,, Gus

[lavieenrose]

Omers, thank you for your suggestions. I will give them a try. Someone at the dog park today suggested a muzzle, so that Sherman can still play there. I would just be concerned that a basket muzzle would make him feel unsafe, and bring out more fear aggressiveness. He will wait for an okay to pick up a biscuit on the floor, so I'll apply that to his 2 meals a day.

[lavieenrose]

Thank you Gus for your comments. They're helpful.

[lavieenrose]

I've been worse lately, and so has Sherman. He went at another dog today at the park, totally unprovoked. Sherman was playing happily with a husky pal of his just before this. Afterward, only left at home alone for 3 hours, he lost control of his bladder. This happens every once in a while. He needs more of a workup. He has bad gas and loose stool chronically. Bacterial and giardia tests in the past were negative, but something's going on. I feel horrible anxst that I don't have money for extensive vet diagnostics, and feel horrible guilt that I adopted him, rather someone with financial means and a functional life. I'm angry at myself for being so impulsive after seeing him as an adorable 9 week old puppy, without stopping and thinking hard about his breed, his adult size, or realizing the impact of my mental illness on him. I was so unfair, and caused him harm. It took 2 experiences of having dogs to see it was a mistake, too stressful for the dogs and for myself. Well, I'm just doing my obsessive mea culpa self-flagellation thing here, so I'll stop