I seem to keep writing things that are inappropriate for this site.
I'm starting to think I'm not at the right place to express myself.
I don't think I'm sensitive enough to post here.
Does anybody else feel that way?

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((jax)))))))))))))))) in a site of this size, there are always going to be those that don't agree, sometimes alot on a controversial subject.

you're not going to please everyone all of the time...just like IRL.

i so enjoy you here.

[(JD)]

No, Jax I don't feel that way.
There is a time period where someone new to forum sites that is needed to "become" part of the group and feel comfortable.
Also, everyone here is suffering because of/from some type of mental un-wellness, so it might be skewed a bit from the IRL experiences.
It is also a place provided for learning/relearning social skills as you engage with other members.

One thing you can do is make it a habit to PREVIEW REPLY before you send something. Reread your post, is it supportive, or very supportive? If you find you still have trouble deciding, then limit your responses to (((hugs)))) and basic support phrases without personal comments, until you feel more comfortable.

TC

[(JD)]

Also, I wanted to ask, now to everyone of you: how do you "know" you aren't fitting in, or are making the wrong posts??? ALL POSTS AND PMS are to be supportive in nature, so if someone PMs you or responds to one of your posts with negative words, you should report them to the mod over that forum.. and let them be reminded of their posts! hehehe we all gotta get along here

Yeah, I guess your right about the "newbie" period and some of the topics being controversial.
Nobody has been unkind to me in the reply posts to mine. They're usually called for and say things that are needed to grab my attention to set me straight on things. I do appreciate it.
I guess I'm use to other forums that aren't specifically for emotional turbulances and I have to realize this forum is different then the others.
I will have to learn to adjust my mindset when I post here from now on.
Thank you KimmyDawn and Sky.

[SeptemberMorn]

Jax, what exactly do you mean about getting "in trouble"? Is it from mods or is it the general membership? Personally, I don't worry too much if I upset a member because I know we won't all agree on any given subject. But if I get called on the rug by a mod, then I think twice. There are times that when you express your opinion, no matter how "nicely" you do it, you're still gonna get called on it.

Hang in there. You'll soon get the hang of things. Just remember "You can't please all of the people all of the time."

Ya' know- sometimes I don't think things through before I say/write something and people on this forum let me know that I'm being inappropriate. (I usually can see their wisdom in these circumstances-even if it takes me a little while to "get it".)

So, I'm not bashing on anyone who's called me on things. Please, don't misunderstand.

I realize not everyone will agree with what I have to say but when do you know if you've been out of bounds with something or if this/these people just disagree with what you're saying? I guess that's what the moderators are for, huh?
Like you said-unless a mod says something then I shouldn't worry too much about it.
Thank you for your input, September. I'm hanging in there.

[dexter]

Yep I think that is the best advice. I went looking through a bunch of your posts and didn't see anything I thought was inappropriate (of course that's just me )

If you really were violating community guidelines, one of the moderators would step in. All of the posts I saw from you were very loving and supportive, and that's what this place is all about.

Thank you, Dexter!

[Myzen]

Jax,

If you are feeling sensitive about responses to your posts, I think that staying around here would be a really good thing.

It is so easy to leave, and quite hard to work through our feelings with a bunch of new people.

But if you do stay, we all benefit! That's my honest view.

Good thoughts, M

[Kismet]

Jax,
I have felt the way you do. In fact there are times that I feel as though this isnt the place for me. I have found it very difficult to form friendships here. part of this is due to different diagnoses, part is a difference I can't quite put my finger on. Personality differences?? Many people here seem to be very dependent and/or have a history of trauma or abuse. I am sorry for the pain they have suffered but I don't know how it feels and really dont know the right thing to say. I feel like I need to walk on eggshells. I am not a very "huggy" person --it is not my nature. Furthermore, AA has taught me that sometime the soft, huggy approach can be harmful rather than helpful.

Time will tell--I will continue to read posts, occassionally post and check the chatroom when I get a wild hair...*S*

Thank you, Myzen.

[kimmydawn]

since moderators keep being brought into this , i'd like to say that i think jax is a WONDERFUL addtion to PC and i ALWAYS enjoy the posting!

THANK YOU AND NICE JOB!

Kismet, I feel the same way too at times, although, I have had an abusive childhood.
And although I LOVE cyber hugs- I do firmly believe in "tough love" also.

I hope you're not feeling too alienated.

Thank you for your reply.
I hope to meet you in the chat room one of those wild hair days.

Hi again KimmyDawn,

Thank you!!

[DanielleVyas]

Jax,
I am very new to this group and any internet group forum. I believe that these virtual group meeting places are designed and should be used to communicate our beliefs and share our experiences while offering support to the community of readers and posters and tolerance of every one's view and understanding that every single one of our views and beliefs are valid and there should be no definitive right and wrong other than rudeness and slander.
I think you should be strong with your views, carefully articulate them, and use this group as a platform to increase your self esteem and confidence.

Just my thoughts.

Danielle Vyas

Thanks Danielle!
I welcome your thoughts. Yes, CAREFULLY articulating them is key!
Welcome to the forum.

[eskielover]

Jax,

Your post reminded me of a response that I just read the other day. It was description of the ultimate goal that is good to strive for here.

The quote is from dasiy6....& it was said beautifully. "You are always positive. When you offer advice it was always in a way that made that advice sound like...."I am sure you would have thought of this" as opposed to " I can't believe you haven't or you really SHOULD or NEED to do this." You gave the poster advice but validated what they were feeling as well."

I think that this is the best explaination I have have ever found.....& is a great goal to strive for. It isn't easy & there is a learning curve involved in posting. For myself, I have also found that sometimes when I have had a similar experience, I try to associate that to what was said.

Like it has been said....we all have our own issues that aren't always known by others.....it's kinda like shooting in the dark at times.

Don't get discouraged....you are doing just fine...& remember it is a growing process,
Debbie

[(JD)]

for clarification.... the "because of" part of my above post was referring to those here who do not, themselves, have a mental health problem, but perhaps someone in their life does. OK? Sorry, I will try to make my posting a bit less general until things can settle down and everyone is calm again and not on edge due to the site upset. (((((hugs all))))))

Huh? Sky, I didn't see anything wrong with what you had to say. I just didn't want anyone to think that anyone in anyway was "mean" to me. That's all. I liked the advice you gave me. (((((((((((((Sky))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

Thanks Jax.. I was just making a general comment in trying to be more specific SIGH. I'm the one not doing this well ! ROFL We will all be alright!

[CedarS]

Jax, you are doing fine.

If you ever are unsure whether to post something, you could always ask someone else to quickly review it. My guess is that you don't need to do this.

And don't feel pressured to be different, in other words, if you don't feel like going the hugs and smile faces route, but do best with laying things firmly yet respectfully on the line, using text..........that is great too!

We all are unique people and we each are gorrrrrrrrrrgeous in our own fashion.

Sarah, she who had a good nap

[January]

Hi Jax,

I think you're doing just fine. If I can ever help you, just let me know.

Safe hugs,

Jan

Thanks Eskie-great advice!
Thanks Sarah, you're gorrrrrrrrgeous too! (Yay for good naps!)
Actually, I LOOOOOVE hugs and smiley faces and I don't feel any pressure in being different but I guess there are others who might. And that's cool.
Thanks Jan! I'll PM you next time I get in one of these moods again. I'm feeling a lot better now though. Everyone is soooooo stinkin' nice!!!! You guys are fantastic! (((((((((((((hugseverybody))))))))))))))

[jmo531]

Jax,

I have felt the way you do many times. I think Tomi nailed in on the head when she said that not everyone here will get along all of the time and we wont always see eye to eye. What I do know is, that this place is very special for that reason. We all have so many different points of view and so much to share. I like that.

You add so much to this forum. Your upbeat, spunky and funny. You also have a sensetive side, a side that needs nurturing, care and love. Like you, we come from a childhood that was abusive and lonley. We can comfort one another and know that we are not alone in our suffering.

I am glad you found us. I am glad your here.

(((((((((((((((((((((Jax))))))))))))))))))))