[Ygrec23]

I have very vivd recollections of different things that happened when I was tiny. Some good, some bad. When we eat dinner now, it calls up to me all kinds of food memories of early childhood and I share those with my wife. She thinks this is bad. She tells me I have to work with T not to remember such stuff.

To me, that sounds crazy. What's wrong with childhood memories? Particularly about things you ate as a child? French fries? Ice cream? Baked potatoes? Lamb chops? Macaroni and cheese? Meringue cookies? (I could continue for a long time.) Is there anything pathological about this kind of thing? Myself, I can't see it at all. It's just food. I do not understand how it could be negative. Anyone have any other ideas? Take care!

[Tash35]

Are you associating certain foods with memories? That happens to me sometimes...I will eat something and all of a sudden I get a certain feeling or memory and then eating all of a sudden turns me off...I literally lose my appetite and become sad (I associate food a lot with my father...weird I know).

I don't know if it is pathological...sounds to me like you are in good spirits and it is not causing you suffering???!! There is nothing wrong with recollecting some childhood memories, both good and bad. I think that when it starts to affect your present life then that is not a good sign...but we can't dichotomize things in good or bad-I think...

Eat away and take care!

[Ygrec23]

Originally Posted by Tash35

Are you associating certain foods with memories? That happens to me sometimes...I will eat something and all of a sudden I get a certain feeling or memory and then eating all of a sudden turns me off...I literally lose my appetite and become sad (I associate food a lot with my father...weird I know). I don't know if it is pathological...sounds to me like you are in good spirits and it is not causing you suffering???!! There is nothing wrong with recollecting some childhood memories, both good and bad. I think that when it starts to affect your present life then that is not a good sign...but we can't dichotomize things in good or bad-I think... Eat away and take care!

Hey, Tash. Thanks for your post. I don't have that Proust thing where you eat something and it reminds you of something long in the past. I just think about eating specific things when I was small. The food memories are wonderful, probably the best I have. Even though I was a skinny kid I really enjoyed certain foods. And remember their taste and texture to this day. I do not have an idea why my wife is against them. She's not crazy about American cooking, but then most of the things that really struck me as a tot are things she likes too. Well, we'll see. It's not a terribly important subject, I guess. Take care!

[Perna]

Are you sure your wife is "against" this? I know my memory of details of the long past was such that everyone (my stepmother especially) would comment on it and sound critical but they were actually just kind of in shock because they don't have such memories? It took me a long time in therapy before I could tell the difference my stepmother once commented on, "It's not a criticism, it's just an observation". I was so use to her criticism and defending against it, I had no room left to tell the difference and "accept" any observations. It sounds like your wife has a problem with your memories Think about that. She must not have any good ones from that age if she's afraid for you?

Or, just tell her you are working on it with your therapist. My husband sits at a table to eat and has one arm resting on the table and extended a bit. It looks a little odd and once we (the family) mentioned it and he thought about it and suddenly remembered his mother use to "steal" his french fries! So, he had the arm out there curled a little protectively around his plate to ward her off and the habit stuck.

Who knows; maybe you remember and like discussing what you ate because there was a lot of talk around your childhood table about the meal and it was enjoyable to you. She wants you to give that enjoyment up?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Ygrec23

I have very vivd recollections of different things that happened when I was tiny. Some good, some bad. When we eat dinner now, it calls up to me all kinds of food memories of early childhood and I share those with my wife. She thinks this is bad. She tells me I have to work with T not to remember such stuff.

To me, that sounds crazy. What's wrong with childhood memories? Particularly about things you ate as a child? French fries? Ice cream? Baked potatoes? Lamb chops? Macaroni and cheese? Meringue cookies? (I could continue for a long time.) Is there anything pathological about this kind of thing? Myself, I can't see it at all. It's just food. I do not understand how it could be negative. Anyone have any other ideas? Take care!

I believe whether remembering childhood issues/memories or not it an individual decision. ie some mental health providers say its a good thing and others say its a bad thing and others toe the line with its a good and bad thing depending on how the childhood issues and memories affects each person.

in my own experience I could not remember my childhood and childhood issues due to my mental disorder DID. So of course I set out to recover those repressed and unremembered memories and issues. it was the only way in which I could recover from having a dissociative disorder.

Whereas some others that I know that have had a traumatic childhood but did not use dissociation in childhood are now attempting to shut out their childhood and childhood issues during their adult years, some so much so that they are /have attempted to bring upon their self dissociative disorders during their adult years as a way to shut out their childhood. then of course getting frustrated and upset when they dont have the same successful outcome as those who used dissociation during the actual childhood events. they feel that forgetting forever is the key to their childhood memories and issues no longer affecting their adult lives.

then there are those who their childhood memories and childhood issues dont affect their lives. they have some memories and issues and not remember others and they go on with their lives with - that was the past this is the present and future, what was done was done and is done now its time to go on with my life. and they are able to do so.

Basically in my opinion - you have to make up your own decision of whether you remembering your childhood memories and issues are affecting your life and also you are the only one that can decide whether taking a stroll down memory lane when the memories and issues surface, is good for you. its also up to you to decide whether to do something about it, if you feel taking strolls down memory lane impacts you in a negative way.

[Ygrec23]

Hi, amandalouise!

I've thought about your post at length. And I've thought about my own childhood memories. Like you, I've been diagnosed as dissociative, but as DDNOS, which may not be your diagnosis. There's a lot I can't remember. And what I do remember is positive. That doesn't mesh with what I'm dealing with now, or have dealt with throughout my life, or what happened to me and my brothers.

All my memories are JUST FINE. But from what T tells me that wasn't so. And I have to admit that in order to understand what I've gone through in life, including now, there had to be something wrong way back then. So the conclusion is that I've blanked all that stuff out. And that could very well be, considering the kind of pathology I have to deal with now.

But this leaves me uncomfortable. I feel bad about dumping on either of my parents without absolute proof. As I said, my mom's personality throughout her later life is consistent with the kind of early childhood negative experiences T and I have constructed, but I sure would like to know for a fact that something along those lines actually did take place.

Take care.