[justaman]

It is good to avoid filthiness if you can.
But it is harder than it looks! What is the motivation to tidy oneself up before going out to the shops if one is
not going to meet anyone there? Why not just go in the clothes you slept in? That's what I did this morning.
I just keep my head down and mind my own business,
and do my thing. Yup. It makes we think thoughts though, like, well, I am certainly not going to meet anyone today. I don't think I am looking very approachable! So yeah, I have begun the day with no hope, once again. Daunting stuff for someone with social phobia.

at one ofo my low points, i went to the laundrymat in my pajamas.

[friedgreymatter]

I prefer to dress in attire that would not attract much attention when I go out into public. I just want to be left alone. Pajamas might catch a few puzzled looks around these parts.

Offensive smells would bother me more than one's attire. As long as one is not stinky, I would not pay them much attention. I try my best to avoid bodily stinkiness.

I hope you find ways to deal with your SP. I experience this often. It can be quite stressful. I must find some ways of coping and get somewhere in life or things will continue to degrade.

Maybe listening to music while venturing out might help. An iPod would be ideal, although they are quite costly. I should wear blinders, like the horses in Central Park do. I'm easily distracted.

Filthy might be a bit too strong a word. Desheveled?

[jagster]

Appearance is a "big" thing with me. I can be at my lowest low, but i would never think of walking out he door in dirty clothes, pajamas, or an unkept appearance.

You may not expect to meet anyone, but you never know what your day has in store for you?

Respect yourself, show self pride and always walk out the door like you are going to meet the man/woman of your dreams today.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

ME..I do it for me I guess ..Like Jagster I never have let that slip..I even do make up most days and seldom see people..I always LOOK nice and am clean...but I seldom FEEL good emotionally
Do what you can do..that is all you can ask of you
HUGS

I think making an effort to look OK - or better - has its impact on your feelings. On the few occasions when I have felt I looked good, I have had amuch more confident feeling and generally more self esteem.
Caroline

[CJR520]

I'm not a dress up person, never have been. I have real nice dress clothes when I need them, but I'm a jeans and t-shirts and sweat shirts Mom. I don't wear heals ever! Make my feet hurt!! Don't wear make-up. I like to keep things simple. I think being clean is most important, and comfortable.

[JustBen]

I know what you mean about motivation. There are times when it seems like other people aren't going to be affected. That's where habit kicks in, I think. If you're used to doing something enough, then you'll expect yourself to do it and feel weird if you don't.

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Justaman --

In the worst depths of my depression, I wore little knitted short sets 24/7 so that the neighbors wouldn't know that I was sleeping in my clothes (or never getting out of my jams, depending on which way you look at it).

A friend who's into the Califo. computer culture just laughed, and said lots of people made sweat clothes a 24-hour uniform. Comfy for all purposes.

So maybe we are merely "cutting edge" in finding 24/7 cozies.

Justaman, please realize -- I'm not diminishing your pain. I know it all too well. But it can help if we reframe some things in a lighter way, instead of beating ourselves up about them.

You are thinking about how to change your life and your thoughts, and that's a good thing. You are writing here, looking for input and support, and that's good, too. Give yourself a pat on the back for reaching out.

[dexter]

Hi justaman...

I want to second what Caroline said.

Depression takes away our motivation, makes us feel bad about ourselves, and makes us not care about taking care of ourselves. I think it is a part of the way makes us want to "prove" to ourselves that we are "right" when we think negative thoughts. For example, we isolate ourselves from our friends, push them away, and then say "See, no one like me, I don't have any friends." It is what makes depression such a horrible illness.

I agree with Caroline that if you can make the effort to fix yourself up before going out it might help you feel better. I know it is difficult thought. But if you can manage to try it, do it for yourself, not for anyone you might or might not meet when you are out. Despite what you may think, you DO deserve it to take care of yourself!

I think it's funny with the going out in Pjs or wearing out what you've slept in. I'm all over lazy days and being comfortable.
But it sounds like you're doing it intentionally so as not to be approached, Justaman.
You're probably a very pretty woman and don't like the attention you recieve because of it. You may not feel confident enough to know how to react to this. People look at pretty girls and guys check you out and try to talk to you. Are you running away from this? Hiding behind your "filth"?
I bet you're still pretty anyway and guys are still checking you out and that's why you held your head down. Not because you felt a mess but because you wanted to disappear because you felt that your little "look a mess" tactic didn't work. You're determined not to be approached. If not by the way you dress then by the way you carry yourself.
You need hugs!!!!! ((((((((((((Justaman)))))))))))))

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((((Justaman))))))))))))))

I totally understand.