Cluttering

I have a good friend of mine that is a clutterer. I don't mean trash knee deep. But the place is a disaster in my estimation. There is stuff on every step leading up to their 2nd floor apartment. An extra bed room is just full of stuff with no rhyme or reason. The kitchen table doesn't have one square inch that isn't covered. There is stuff everywhere.

I am at a loss as to what to do. I know that there has to be mental/emotional issues that are the cause of this behavior. I think that they are in denial about it.

I ordered a couple books on cluttering. Not sure if that is the right thing to do. I know that I could never be anything but a friend to this person because the cluttering drives me out of my mind.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Hi Vett... I just read yout post and.. well.. looks like you're talking about my uncle Peter !! omg !!

Just take a look at those sites ...

http://www.clutterless.org
http://www.clutterersanonymous.net
http://www.stutteringhelp.org/br_clutt.htm

Hope it helps in anyway.
Clau

Vet, have you been peeking at my place?? Well... it's not bad now, but it gets like your friends place when I'm depressed. My house reflects my state of mind. If she's depressed, she probably won't do anything about her clutter, but I would go ahead and give her the books anyway. When her head clears a bit, she might use them. ... or when she gets sick. hahaha I get the cleaning bug when I get so much as a head cold. Weird, eh? hehehe I can't stand the clutter when I'm sick. I mean... I go as far as disinfecting the counter tops!!!

Ok... I think I might be getting into something myself... hmmm....



<font color=blue>Don't die with your music still inside you.</font color=blue>

Sept...

We are not talking about occasional clutter... this has been going on for years. I first knew this person about 5 years ago and the house she lived in was a disaster. I mean I was in an absolute state of shock when I saw it. Now five years later and nothing has really changed.

I know when I am depressed my house isn't quite as well kept as it should be. But then I get a burst of energy and clean. I mean this place is clean enough, not dirty by any means. Just junk! Everywhere!!!

Well? Then maybe she never learned the art of housekeeping. hehe Or she's a pack rat... Maybe life hasn't taught her that she needs to change... then again, maybe she doesn't need to change... That's the thing. She won't change until she becomes unhappy with it herself. You might warn her, though, that the clutter on the steps is a law suit waiting to happen... and ugly besides!



<font color=blue>Don't die with your music still inside you.</font color=blue>

My parents are like that. Over time they just get more and more stuff. Now they have every closet in their house filled to capacity (mostly with stacked boxes), one junk room full, a covered patio (room-sized) full, and a two-car garage that not only can't be used to put a car in, but it is stacked to the ceiling with boxes and you can't walk through it. To get stuff from one end they go in the door from the house, and to get stuff from the other end they have to open up the garage door. They can't find anything when they want it - it's all in a box underneath a huge pile of other boxes. Many of those boxes have been moved from house to house, even to Spain and back, without ever being opened.

No, they don't see a problem with this. Someday they think maybe they will need something that is in one of those boxes. Of course they will never find it or know which box it is in... And there is no way for anyone to help them declutter either, since my mother has her system, and if anyone tried to help, they would almost certainly not do it right, so she will not consider letting anyone help. They would probably be offended if anyone tried to tell them that they had a problem.

I don't know what you can do. Yeah, there are mental and emotional issues involved - perfectionism, fear of having to do without something, compensating for something that is missing from their lives. Depression and anxiety are very common in people who do this. Or maybe they don't know any other way because that's the way they have always lived. I've told my mother about flylady.net which is the best solution to conquering clutter I have seen, but it isn't something that she wants to work on. Just love them anyway, I guess. Or if it is someone you are considering getting involved with, heed the warning signs. There are people who overcome it, but just like with anything else, they have to want to.

<font color=red>"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker</font color=red>