Too stupid to be a parent

((((((((((((((((wi))))))))))))))))))))

I've been there with both of my kids. I couldn't answer their questions, but they still both think I'm kinda sorta smart...unless they say that only when they want something.

wi, can you ask your daughter about another kid that can be a study partner with her on this? ask her teacher about that possibly? we do that here within our school system. it's a free sort of tutoring...the kids LOVE it. both of my daughters helped other kids. my youngest got help once with guess what...a math class that she was having problems in...algebra (and she was an honor student prior to that and is since). it's so hard for some of us to get!

i suggest asking the teacher about a child who does very well and might consider working with your daughter. if not, as your daughter who does really well and about asking this child to help a bit? it's really a fun thing to do and helps alot...other kids know how to help one their own age to "get it".

good luck. you're an awesome mom!

kd

hey Wi... this sounds like 2 of my cousins, they had troubles paying attention and got similar grades. Have you ever had her screened for ADD? This seems like classic ADD symptoms. I know some people have things against medications. BUT both of my cousins were put on aderall and they went from D's and F's to B's and A's !!!! They only take thier medication on school days. Just a thought.

The "rules" for each subject in schooling changes every day week month and year. Those that graduate this year will most likely not know how to do what is being taught next year. I was told this by my sons teacher when he was academic problems. I felt like such a loser for not being able to help him but she told me Im helping just by being there to here his complaining about the classes.just because I don't know how to do the work doesn't mean I can't help him in other ways such as teach him good study habits of doing his homework at the same time every night, and doing it in an area that is quiet and free from distractions, and when he does come to me with mom I can't do this we can put him in touch with a friend from class, his teacher, and seach the community for those that offer tutoring in that subject. Here they have SMART, literacy vollunteers, some of the retired teachers also tuter, sylvan learning center, and the tutoring/learning center Inc. this last one is an agency that the parents in the community put together of parents who were frustrated in not being able to help their children but when they got to talking as neighbors and friends they realised they themselves were agreat resource the one complaining they couldn't help their child with math could help another child with reading, and vice versa.. you can find these resources by opening the phone book to the yellow pages and looking under the word toturing. Talk to other parents too maybe you can get a group of tutors together with what yoo all do know. Good luck.

I'm coming in late to this thread... and not able to read all of the posts... (my problem) But I have two comments. 1) I'm sorry you were drawn into her drama by her waiting till the last minute to ask for help... the night before? grrrr and 2) I'm a pretty smart person... alegebra was the only course I ever flunked, and it was because the math teacher refused to believe I couldn't do it. (then)... the next year a computer error put me into the next level and I aced it...and went on from there right through post grad stuff. Just thought I'd share.

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Thanks for the ideas.

I'm struggling with her right now to actually do her work. She's been "working" on it for an hour and has managed to do 9 problems out of 42 total. One excuse was "I lost my pencil and couldn't find it." Then she needed an eraser, then she had to go to the bathroom, now she's picking the steak out of her teeth.

First of all, I'm going to add to the comments about your feeling guilty about not being able to help your daughter. I teach Maths to an able class of 11-12 yr olds. Yesterday my 13 yr old daughter (who is recognised as being gifted) came home with a Maths homework I couldn't do! I just haven't covered the work she was doing (better add here that ICT, RE and English are my specialist subjects and what I teach most of!) I had to get her to ask a colleague. So no way can you beat yourself up for not understanding.

There are some great web sites out there; pm me if a list would help. But to me it sounds like your daughter's counsellor has it right - the teachers and you are spending more energy to get your daughter to do her work than she is. She needs to take responsibility for her work - but if she has ADD then that is really tough for her to do. Again, there are websites out there with suggestions.
Can you tie in homework to rewards? Could she have a "study buddy"? How about having a box full of the equipment she will need to do her homework so she can't use missing equipment as an excuse?

Take care, and don't beat yourself up!

Caroline

stocking a desk with apackage of 10 pencils of various colors and 10 erasers of various shapes and colors, a package of loose leaf paper, package of 20 color pencils and markers, 5 pens (at least 2 blue) 2 rulers and a cheep calculator cures the "I can't find ..."

Homework before after school snack and or dinner cures the forgot to brush my teeth.

Your taking a bath during childs homework time so they better use the bathroom before you get in cures the bathroom break problems

LOL for just as many problems my son would come up with I would find a cure for. Its amazing how fast he got is work done when more computer time and game boy time was added into the routine. good luck and take care.