[SeptemberMorn]

To take away my "Little Tin Can."

There were times I could have sworn I was in Kansas because the wind would almost pick it up from it's moorings, the wind would whistle through the cracks in the windows because they wouldn't shut tight. You see, my little tin can was already limping, one side being lower than the other.

There were times when a couple of old songs would pop into me head and while I watched it rain from my deck, I would be singing "raindrops keep falling on my head" or "oh, no, don't let the rain come down. My roof's got a hole in it and I might drown." Silly songs, yes, but they sprang from being grateful for having it. And speaking of holes, there was a major one under the water heater that extended into the living room. My cat and the ferret soon found it and would make their exit through there. I smile when I think of that. There was a single vine of the huge morning glory I had growing outside coming through that hole. I let it go in hopes that it would eventually bloom in my front room.

Whenever I spoke of "my little tin can," I pictured myself in my imagination like a little furry cartoon mouse peeking out of the open end of a discarded can of beans or some such. I loved and still love "my tin can." It was a direct answer to prayer that had come from the bottom of my soul. At the time, I was staying with my best friend, but it was obvious she didn't want me setting up homesteading. I do believe she watched TV programs that made me extremely uncomfortable on purpose; like Angel and Charmed. When she turned to those, I would go outside and either sit in my car or walk around. It was one of those times that I was walking around that my soul cried out "OH GOD!!!" I had no idea what to ask for but He knew what I needed.

Three days later, my oldest son called me and asked me what I thought of Oxnard. Told him I could think of better places to live. He asked me if the name of my street sounded familiar to me and it did. Come to find out, I had never been on that particular street. His questions didn't make too much sense until he asked if I could meet him somewhere in town. Of course I could! We met and I followed him to what became "my little tin can." To me, it was like a mansion! I had all the privacy I needed. I could bring my 36" TV out of storage and watch what *I* wanted to watch and it sure wasn't going to be vampires and witches!

Because of the generous gift my son gave me, I am now in a beatiful mobile home with plenty of room to move around in my power chair. Never mind pulling myself on my desk chair anymore the narrow ten feet I had from one end of the living room to the end of the kitchen. I now have laminated floors instead of rotting pressboard; a dishwasher with a sink that is low enough for me to use without water running down to my elbows; a beautiful bay window where I can look out on a more pleasant view; on and on.

But my heart breaks at the tought of men coming to rip apart, panel by panel, that little tin can that was my refuge for so many years. It's till "Home." It's a "home" that I'm having a hard time letting go.

[Leora]

Septembermorn: I can't say I understand what you are going through with your "Tin Can" But my heart goes out to you because it is still your home worts and all. How wonderful that your son gave you such a generous gift. You have a son you should be proud of . Enjoy your TV and watch whatever you want.

Your friend
Leora

[kimmydawn]

oh (((((((((((((((Sept))))))))))))))))) what a beautiful, heartfelt post. That should be published somewhere. I swear it should. *tears*.

I'm sorry for your grief.

What a beautiful expression of you. Thank you for that.

KD

[mrb020377]

(((((((((((((((((((tomi))))))))))))))))

[ozzie]

(((((((((((((((Tomi))))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

sigh. I hope they do it quickly for you... it served it's purpose (and if it had feelings would feel good about that?!) What cha watchin on tv?

[SeptemberMorn]

I don't understand it completely myself, Leora. The place was falling down around my ears. It doesn't hold a candle to my new place. The men are sure making short work of bringing the Tin Can down, though. I had to come back here and see that the sacrifice is warranted.

As I see pieces of it pulled off the main body, nothing but rot and weakness is exposed. The men aren't even sure if it will make it in one piece wherever it is that dead Tin Cans go.

[SeptemberMorn]

Kimmy, thank you. I'm just as thankful for my new place as I was for that one when I got it. Still...

Published, did you say? I'll talk to my "literary agent."

I can hear chains... maybe I should take a little ride down there.

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mel & Susan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks for the needed hugs.

[SeptemberMorn]

It certainly served it's purpose! Kept me safe from "the storm." NOT going to get into its feelings!

Watching TV? Not a chance! I'm watching my "friend's" last gasping breaths.

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((Sept))))))))))))))))))))) just more for you. I don't know why this just breaks my heart for you so much. Maybe because I spent so much time moving on to new and better things but having to leave so much of me behind?

For whatever the reason, I tear up every time I open this thread!

Peace for you tonight.

KD

(((((((((((((((Tomi)))))))))))))))

time0

[wisewoman]

Hi Sept, I kinda get it. It is a passage, a transition, a literal moving on. It represents so much time of your growth and life. I was at first a bit bemused that you were having sadness to see the old place go but I really do understand now. Would have loved to see the flowers bloom inside!

[SeptemberMorn]

You tear up because maybe I'm being dramatic? LOL

I think I'm so attached to it because if it hadn't been for my son, I might have been homeless. It's what the place represents, maybe.

My daughter thinks I'm ungrateful and too demanding... or so she told Jerry... just because I called it "the tin can."

[SeptemberMorn]

Thank you {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Beautiful Lady}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[SeptemberMorn]

It certainly IS a transition and a moving UP if not "on." That's about as low as I've ever been in my life! Not just money wise, but that's where I was living when I was hospitalized. A lot of growth since then, for sure!

The morning glory never did bloom inside, it turned yellow for the lack of sun. LOL

tomi.....i sure can understand all the emotions that you are going through....i live in a real nice house now but right around the corner is the small upstairs apartment where my husband and i first lived on unemployment of 52 dollars a week when we fist got married.....sigh.....where my first child was conceived......sigh....yup my friend.....i hear ya......love jul

[SS8282]

(((((((((((tomi)))))))))))) I like the name "the tin can' - it's affectionate, cute.

A home is ia home, big or small, brick, stone, or a 'tin can'. More hugs ((((((((((((((((((tomi))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I moved up once in life and sold HOME...it sucks because it IS HOME

I am sorry this is happening to HOME I understand

[mortimer]

I'm sorry mommy. (T____T) ::hugs tight::

D:< Your daughter's a brat. (T_____T) How could she be so horrible to you?

You're so nice... I'm so sorry you have to be in so much sad. (T___T) Sometimes change can be good, but, you never have to forget Tin Can...

It goes to prove, that even if something should be the best thing, and has the best things, it isn't always. Home is where love is, so imagine your Tin Can moving to the new one? (T___T)

:: I'm sorry I have nothing better to say.

[SpazKatt]

*huugs*

[(JD)]

The tv comment was on the comment you made about room for the 36"... Hey could you find a small, small piece of the tin can and keep it as representative of all the memories, and accomplishment? I keep a small piece of broken wood, write on it name of hurricane, date and type of tree it was. . . it helps to know I've come THROUGH that.. you know? You have too...

[SeptemberMorn]

Know what's been amazing through this whole thing is that almost everyone that goes by asks me if I've cried or if I'm sad. Guess I'm not the only one that has felt this way. I mean, the thing is UGLY! Always was! The only thing pretty was the yard and that didn't happen until Jerry moved back in with me. I don't know...

[SeptemberMorn]

LOL Thanks, SS. I always did think "my little tin can" was cute and affectionate.

[SeptemberMorn]

Yep! Agreed!