[Jax]

Hello. I have no idea if this is the right place to find this out, but I thought that I would take a shot. Maybe someone can answer my question, or at least point me in a direction.

I have a family member, and I think that they may have a mental disorder. I have a list of reasons, but haven't been able to use them to narrow down what the problem might be. Here they are, if someone can tell me what they might be indicative of, or at least point me at someone who can, that would be super. Some of these are very strange and hard to explain if you haven't seen them in person and been around the person for a while, so I will do my best.

- will not leave the house. It first started that they would not go to some family events, which we all figured was just the normal "trying to get out of family events" thing. But then they started making up lies so that they would NEVER have to go to them (its been about 2-3 years now).

- in addition to the above, the person will not leave the house PERIOD. It again started off small; they did not like to drive places. It then went to they did not like BEING DRIVEN to places. Now it is to the point where they won't go get the mail, or sit on the porch, because it would mean going outside. I'm afraid as to where this will progress to....

- they think they are going to have a baby. Which would be fine, except that they are 50 years old, have gone through menopause, and their spouse has had a vesectomy. But the person is VERY convinced that they are going to have a baby, and that it is going to make all their problems go away.

- convinced that their spouse is going to die. They think that their spouse is going to die within the next few years, and the person REFUSES to spend money on anything, because they think they need to save up money for when their spouse dies so that they can take care of the baby.

- fasting. Also, weight-fluctuations. It started about 4 years ago, they would limit what they would eat to only healthy things. Then it was only one small meal a day (fruit and maybe some water). Sadly, I was recently made aware that they have not eaten ANYTHING in the last 12 days. This tends to fluctuate also, as they will then eat again for a period. I hope that made sense.

- more visions. I was told that myself and my wife should stop coming by for our weekly visits because the person had a vision that we were going to get in an accident while driving over. We have made the trip close to 100 times, and it is only a half-hour drive.

- mysterious dates. There is always some mysterious date as to when things might get better. "If only I can make it to (some day on some month), then maybe things will be ok." The person keeps saying that they have to reach some "goal" (though when asked, they just say we would not understand).

There are other things, but those are the major ones that I can think of right now. I have no idea what these symptoms might be indicative of, if anything. If someone could please help me, with any advice, I would appreciate it. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my message.

[Rapunzel]

She needs to go to a doctor. I have several ideas of some possibilities, but it isn't my place to try to diagnose anyone, let alone someone I have never met. It sounds like she needs treatment, whatever it is.

Although not necessarily the cause of the problem, going without eating so much affects a person's ability to think rationally too, so that could be making everything worse.

If you are not close enough to do anything, and there isn't another family member or friend who could, one thing you could do is call Adult Protective Services in her area and let them know about your concerns. They could send someone to check on her. As much as I hate being harrassed by social workers, it would be for her own good and there is no reason for anyone to be in trouble about it - just a situation where someone needs some help.

<font color=green>"Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible." -Jane Rubietta</font color=green>

[Jax]

Well I'll tell you what, its the strangest thing. The person's spouse, who is a really nice person, for some reason will not confront the problem. I think that they are the one who should. I guess you would call them the enabler? I keep trying to find ways to make my wife tell her father (the one who is the enabler) to do something about it, but she insists that she has tried and he just brushes it off.

On the one hand, I don't want to get too directly involved, as it is not my family. On the other hand, I can so clearly recognize there is a problem, and I hate to let this happen to another person. It sucks, more or less a feeling of helplessness. I also come from a very close family, and I had just the best parents in the world, and I find it makes it hard for me to relate to their problems. But I can still see the problem there.

I'm not sure what to do, I guess I just wanted to pick all your brains to see what condition(s) she could possibly have, so that I could talk to my wife and hopefully her father, and see about getting this thing resolved. They all recognize the problem, but I think they've all lived with it so long that they've learned to work around it, and they don't talk to each other about it.

Sorry, this is probably hard to explain to people not directly observing the issue. I've slowly watched the condition get worse and worse for the better part of 9 years. Its frustrating, and I really wish I could do more to help them....

[chickey_soup]

You can't diagnose what is wrong with your loved one. There are numerous mental and/or physical illnesses that could be causing these symptoms. As far as the spouse who doesn't seem to want to acknowledge the problem: seeing someone you love change so drastically is scary. Many people do not know what to do. Many people cannot admit there is a problem because they themselves feel responsible. At this point you best course of action in to contact the Mental Health Department of the State this person lives in and ask tem for assistence. Again, only a professional in an appropriate setting can make a diagnosis.

[mj14]

Jax, no one here is qualified to diagnose someone, much less someone we have never met, but as you have seen from the replies above, the behavior you describe could indicate either a mental or physical health problem.

If you would like to get an idea of what things these behaviors might describe, I would recommend going to the Home page here, and clicking on the link that says "What Is...?" It gives a list of symptoms for a variety of disorders. You might want to print out some of these to show to your wife, to give her an idea of how serious this behavior might be. One other thing, some of the conditions that these behaviors are consistent with are the paranoid and schizoaffective disorders, both of which tend to cause sufferers to resist treatment. Showing you wife this might also convince her that intervention is necessary in order to get help.

Good luck.
mj

[Jax]

Ok, I will show all of this to my wife, and hopefully we can get the ball rolling on this. Thank you so much for all your replies everyone!