[Indie'sOK]

I went out about an hour ago to play tennis, and was going alright until these three teen boys showed up on bikes. I was self-conscious but I didn't think they'd come over and say anything to me. But then, after I very visibly missed a ball, one of them was like "MISS!" One said something else but I don't know what it was. I flipped them off, as I've tended to do a lot in the past with bullies (it's like my only defense), and the same guy was like "I love that middle finger - I get that a lot." Then they just kept circling around the parking lot next to the courts, watching me. That, combined with the fact that I am overweight, very bad at tennis, and overwhelmed with anxiety and self-consciousness, I'd had enough. I was terrified of riding my bike home, which is about three blocks away, thinking they'd follow me there and make more comments and then they'd know where I live. I've been riding my new bike for the past couple of days and have been waiting for something like this to happen. I knew it would eventually? Why can't they just leave me alone?????? I read this now and it sounds like I overreacted, but while this was going on, I felt the exact same way as I did in elementary and middle school when these two girls would come up to me and start saying stuff. It's like my anxiety kicks into overdrive - these earlier situations, in fact, were the cause of my anxiety disorder in the first place.

I know I make too big of a deal over it, but I just want to be left alone. Now I know I'll never be able to bring myself to go play tennis again for fear of something like this happening. Please don't tell me to not let it bother me - for someone like me, it DOES.

[googley]

((((((((((((Indie))))))))))))

I'm so sorry this happened. Those guys are just jerks. (I would use a harsher word, but am restraining myself). I totally understand why you were uncomfortable. Can you talk about this with your T. I think this is the perfect type of stuff to talk about with her. The concrete situations and how to deal with them. Were you playing tennis with someone else, or do you have a friend who would go with you? That might make you feel more protected.

[Indie'sOK]

Thanks (((googley))) I'm feeling better about it now. I know I'd feel a lot worse if they'd actually said something about me or my appearance. That's what I'm always afraid of. Guys like that love picking on chubby girls like me.

I went alone tonight, as I almost always do. I wanted my mom to go, but she waited back at the house for my dad to come home from work instead. I wish I could go with a friend, but (and I'm not making excuses, this actually is true) none of my friends are athletic. I'm not even athletic, I was just doing this for my weight, not because I actually wanted to. They'd never want to come over.

Thanks again - I really appreciate it. It could have been worse I wish this had happened before my appointment with T yesterday, though. Something to mention so that she takes me seriously. I feel like she doesn't.

[Yoda]

My comeback when guys make fun of my weight is, well I can lose weight but stupid is forever.

It is normal to be bothered by things bullies say but try to not let it show to them so they don't get positive reinforcement for their bad behavior.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by Yoda

...well I can lose weight but stupid is forever.

Oh I LOVE that..thanks!

[eskielover]

I understand how you felt also as you explained that it took you back to feelings you had in elementary & middle school when a similar situation occurred......those guys triggered the same emotions that you felt then which are normal emotions to feel when people treat you in that way (bullies are horrible).

Hopefully your T will help you work through your thoughts, assumptions, & beliefs that came to your mind while you were dealing with this situation. What you don't want to have happen is to allow those kind of people control your actions.....like stopping your actions of trying to be healthy & going outside & playing tennis to get exercise which you were doing to help yourself. If you allow them to control your actions & thinking, then unfortunately, bullies end up winning even when they don't even know it. They are sort of like that huge car that goes plowing by on the freeway, causing accidents to happen behind them while they go speeding off leaving the accidents in their dust without even knowing it.

It will be good to talk this through with your T....maybe you can write down some of your thoughts & feelings & reactions which can also help you work through it with your T. Know those feelings you had & emotions it caused are normal for a situation like that & bullies are horrible....but this is a good chance to talk through the overall experience & make sure you are able to put the emotions into perspective & not allow it to hurt you farther into the future but to gain your control over the situation.

I hate it when our learning situations hurt so much in the process. Glad you are feeling better about it now.....take care of yourself

[Indie'sOK]

Thank you Eskie...yeah I'm going to show her this post and see what she thinks.

[Daniel Kingston]

Eternal truth, eternal righteousness, eternal love; these only can triumph, for these only can endure. - Joseph Barber Lightfoot

Don't be afraid for being the better man...

[Daniel Kingston]

“That's what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end” - Lise Hand

[Night*Blossum]

I know exactly how you feel. You have no idea how many times that has happened to me. I have HUGE anxiety problems. I'm afraid if I open my mouth it might sound as if I wanna cry so I don't ever say anything back, which makes the bullying worse. I haven't been bullied lately because the bullies now go to a different school but the emotional scars are still there. :/ Hope things have gotten better for you. <3

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by Night*Blossum

I know exactly how you feel. You have no idea how many times that has happened to me. I have HUGE anxiety problems. I'm afraid if I open my mouth it might sound as if I wanna cry so I don't ever say anything back, which makes the bullying worse. I haven't been bullied lately because the bullies now go to a different school but the emotional scars are still there. :/ Hope things have gotten better for you. <3

Thanks NB...yeah that is something I forgot to mention in the original post. I try to retaliate verbally, but my voice always comes out as weak and shaky. I guess I don't really know how to react.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Indie,

I am so sorry this has happened to you. I hate going places where there are teenagers as this use to happen to me all the time. I am small and over weight. Oh ye and I have glasses lol. So I get the "specky-four-eyes" joke if you can call it that all the time. As my Dad says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me". Hope you can get someone to go with you to the court. Even if you manage to get your Mom or a friend to go might be a good idea