“Telling and listening to stories is the way we make sense of our lives,” said Dr. Thomas K. Houston, lead author of the study and a researcher at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in Worcester and the Veterans Affairs medical center in Bedford, Mass. “That natural tendency may have the potential to alter behavior and improve health.”

Experts in this emerging field of narrative communication say that storytelling effectively counteracts the initial denial that can arise when a patient learns of a new diagnosis or is asked to change deeply ingrained behaviors. Patients may react to this news by thinking, “This is not directly related to me,” or “My experience is different.” Stories help break down that denial by engaging the listener, often through some degree of identification with the storyteller or one of the characters.

“The magic of stories lies in the relatedness they foster,” Dr. Houston said. “Marketers have known this for a long time, which is why you see so many stories in advertisements.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/10/he...html?ref=views

Psych Central allows us to tell our story. Others here read and can relate and reassure. I expect this is what DocJohn was talking about here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=163968

[purple_fins]

I didn't know this-- but it sure does make sense.

wonder if it has something to do with feeling "connected" with another.... not alone..... feeling alone is SO lonely.

I never saw that post by DocJohn either-- thank you for bringing it up and thanks also to DocJohn in writing it.

hmmmmm..... it can be out of ones comfort zone though.... so scary for some of us to come out from behind the scrub. (i occasionally push myself to speak up and then I truly regret it every time)
wish it wasn't this way.........

thanks Byz.

fins

[Sunna]

They talk about helping patients get better by sharing the stories of others who survived, who made it, who found a way around or through similar problems.

We do a lot of this here.

But I also see a lot of sharing of, for a lack of better word, "negativity" where the support and stories validate and reinforce.

Interesting comment about the negativity, Sunna. What do you suggest members should do differently when responding to someone in distress?

[Queen of Chaos]

Nothing anyone ever tells me means as much as shared firsthand experiences. One person may tell me to do thus and such but it's the person who says they've experienced themselves what it is I'm concerned about and will share their story who will help me the most.

What I find interesting, particularly online, is how willing so many people are to stop whatever they're doing and freely give the time necessary to share their experiences with someone who is seeking support or understanding.

I'm the world's worst for straying off-topic but I want to say that PsychCentral.com has been a blessing for me in several ways, not the least of which has been realizing I'm not the only one with mental health issues and reading what others share about their own concerns makes me not feel so isolated. We're so much more than just a community of people with mental health concerns, we're a community of really caring, compassionate, supportive and encouraging friends.

[Open Eyes]

Yes Queen of Chaos that is a very nice way of putting it. PC is a very helpful place for so many. And it is so nice to have a place to go where one can try to come out of the bushes and express themselves. Hearing someone elses story that resembles your own can help so much as then you begin to realize your not so alone after all.

And Sunna, yes, there can be a sharing of negetivity as well. But I don't really see the scale tipping in favor of negetivity here at PC. I have myself experienced it a little in dealing with others here at PC but I always take into consideration what that other person is dealing with. I have to admit that I have been triggered a few times by the comments of others addressing me, but in a way it has helped me see a trigger I didn't know I had. After all when we do come out of the bushes, we are not aways going to say the right thing, we may misunderstand someone or even our own issues.

What inspires me is when I see someone trying and they open up more and more. And I know it is not easy for some, but it can be just what that person really needs.
I used to spend more time in the chats and then I started to post more in the forums and got to know people better. And I know what it is like to feel alone with an issue and then meet someone else that is maybe further along and helps me understand my issue a little more. I do the same for others as well.

There will always be some negetive input, people are often angry and frustrated with their so called label and how others outside PC don't understand them. But for the most part I see more support here than anything else.

And I am also amazed at some of the stories I have been told and how strong another person is inspite of their story and how they have somehow overcome their past.

Open Eyes

[purple_fins]

Byz has another thread about how three little words can perhaps make a difference in ones current thinking......those words-- "up until now"....

so what I said previously:

i occasionally push myself to speak up and then I truly regret it every time

I will re-word to:
I occasionally push myself to speak up and then UP UNTIL NOW I've truly regretted it. ......

now that seems to have a hidden little ray of hope in it...
don't you think?

it amazes me how just changing a few words and holding onto them,
makes things LOOK different...... words have such power-- wow.

fins

fins

[Sunna]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Interesting comment about the negativity, Sunna. What do you suggest members should do differently when responding to someone in distress?

(Thanks for asking Byzantine, I was rushing and too generic.)

If something like that happened to the responder and they dealt with it positively, then it's obvious: share that first hand experience. Lacking that, maybe there is a 2nd, or 3rd hand story that could be brought in. Not to tell the distressed person this is what YOU should do, but to present an alternative so they can decide if this may perhaps work for them too. If there is no real story, sometime just possibilities of alternative interpretation or alternative reaction could be offered. There is always more than one way of looking at things, and more than one way of dealing.

For example. Let's say someone writes that a friend did something awful and goes on how terrible it was, and the friend shouldn't have and how now this friend tries to say she is sorry, but the person does not believe the friend cares about them at all, and only tries to make herself feel better.

A reinforcing response would be to totally agree with a speaker: "You don't need friends like this". "Don't be pressured into forgiving her"

A positive alternative could question assumptions about why the friend did it, could point out that if the friend really did not care about this person, the friend would not feel bad about screwing them and would not care about seeking forgiveness. Yes, of course, the friend will feel better if she is forgiven, but that does not mean that's the sum total of her motivations.

The point of a positive response would not be to necessarily change the mind of the person about the issue, in this case whether or not to give a friend a second change, but to disarm the emotional charge that makes them not see things quite clearly.

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all

Thank you, Sunna.

In coincidence with the proverb, if I have nothing nice to say, the best way for me to be supportive is to say nothing at all.

[Queen of Chaos]

Can I throw-in a question I'm sure we've all heard and thought about. Does a true friend tell a person the truth (as they know or believe it) OR does a true friend tell a person what they know the person wants to hear?

There have been many times in my life when someone whose friendship I value has asked me about something but rather than saying what I honestly believe and want to say, I won't say anything at all...and then I feel somehow dishonest.

[Open Eyes]

Well that is a good question Queen of Chaos. I think when your in that position you have to make a judgement call on what that friend can handle and ofcourse their state of mind. If you know them enough to realize that the advice could do more harm than good, even if you know it to be the truth, then you are better off not saying anything. Unless you see that they are in danger by not knowing the truth.
It is a judgement call and as I said, the truth may do more harm than good at times.

Open Eyes

[Gus1234U]

my teacher said: don't say anything that hurts, causes harm, or social dissonance. of course i still do these things, but i hear those words, helping me to stop. i try to see if the person wants soothing, reassurance, or information. the proper response, it seems to me, is to honestly give what is being asked for, not what one loves to hear.