Scared to Move Forward or Change? A Surprising Revelation About Fear

http://www.psychologytoday.com/colle...d-move-forward

The author, Dr. Susan Biali, M.D., who is also a flamenco performer, provides some practical thoughts to help us harness and leverage our fears. When I was practicing law, the period leading up to a trial or appeal were fraught with anxiety. Preparation is the key. Once the trial or oral argument began, the anxiety went away.

What Dr. Biali is talking about is quite different. When the fear manifests, there is no time to prepare. Rather, the premise is to act before the opportunity dissipates. The challenge is to move forward despite the fear.

fear can be a great motivator for me. it has prompted me to stretch my horizons. if i hadn't tried i would have never triumphed. if i gave in to fear it would paralyze me the longer i didn't act. when acting on fear/new territory, pushing thru it, i also find it can reinforce my self confidence. asking myself what is the worst thing can happen to me causes me to put the fear in proper perspective. no "chicken little" for me.
there's a saying that somewhat applies-
"do or not do. there is no try."

If a rabbit, a possum and a mountain lion each meet a mamma bear on a path in the wood with her cub..what should they do? If the rabbit played possum and the possum tried to fight and the mountain lion tried to run away...would any survive? That is a time sensitive and critical decision-making opportunity.

If you act totally out of character and react without thinking through the situation and determining what your strengths and weaknesses are...you will make a time critical mistake. The worst disasters that I've seen people make were decisions made in haste, words said in anger or in fear and anxiety, actions taken in panic and knee-jerk reactions to events. If your life is truly in danger or the house is on fire, I would still hope you had some basic evacuation plan in mind and would follow that. Otherwise, calm determination, patience and sound decision-making and preperation will win the game every time.

I understand about having to move forward even with some level of discomfort and trepidation, but there is still some balance required with that courage false or no. Jumping in ill-prepared and while emotions are high can be just as bad if not worse. You can always try to be prepared to take advantage of opportunities when they arise..but leaping before looking is still going to end you up in a cast or coffin.

I don't think this is any grand "revelation"...just an emotional reaction closely akin to greed and panic due to a clock ticking. That's too close to my saying that I want want the last piece of chocolate cake just so no one else can get it; whether I want or need that cake or not. I say your flamenco dancing doctor can have her cake and eat it too. I'm still not going to Vegas with her or in the woods either for that matter.

I'm sorry, but I found this article ill-advised and lacking in common sense.

Most Respectfully,
Wysteria Blue

This person is not my doctor. You do not have to agree with her. Click on the link to the article and comment or email the author.

Have a good one.

It is difficult for me with PTSD to know the things that evoke fear that are actual safety concerns, like in the past, to be cautious of versus those things that are social norms that I should push myself forward through the fears with trepidation but experience despite of the feelings. It is difficult to balance and am struggling with this as I venture out more into the public as of late. More issues have come up and knowing when to retreat versus to push is a constant struggle. I appreciated this insight into this writer's particular situation for perspective. Thank you, TheB for the article.

i think i get it, some times with things i'm not sure about aka fear to some extent if i do it (with out much procrastination) i some times feel better it's a learning experience that what i was fearing about either wasn't that bad or wasn't an issue. However sometimes my fear is there and effective however there is usually still some good ie the other day i talked about something with my bf that sacred me he did get a bit upset but we talked and he said he was still happy that i talked cuz he learned something about me more although the fear he was upset was real cuz he was, fear of his leaving still so but i think that maybe an issue of mine that i need to work on more. Fear can be debilitating too i have made mistakes due to fear but i try to learn from those if i can see my fear of what it was.
Madisgram i agree fear can be a mover for get going. Ie i fear being not able to control all the time so i read suggestion and talkin to a t now
Fresia i hope you well with your defining you fears and getting over them. I wish you well.

Wysteria sometimes ppl go into flight mode and do make mistakes in the reaction to fear. Some situations such as nature there is just flight mode to which the brain does not think it just reacts. I think the fear here in the article as my take is the fears we realize and trying to assert them and move past the fear

TheByzantine thanks for your posts