Please help stop me from making a bad decision

Indie'sOK · Oct 26, 2011, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elana05

Hi Indie'sOK,

I have to disagree...

1. Country sky, no light pollution, no moon, grassy area, lost in stars
2. Walk in a very slow moving stream on an overcast day (you'll need hip boots for this one). The sky will be reflected in the water ahead of you and you'll swear you're walking on the sky

Sending supportive thoughts...

I should clarify that I was referring to mind alteration of the truly "psychedelic" type. Sure, books, music, and art make me feel good, but I believe the effect I'm thinking of and that which others are referring to are different. I believe the old hippies used to call it "expanding your mind"

(JD) · Oct 26, 2011, 11:57 PM

Quote:

I'm 17. All my friends have tried or regularly smoke weed. ...... I want to relax, to hang out with my best friend whom I haven't seen in many months (he's my potential "hook-up")........- I'm asking you to help convince me from doing it in the first place.

I'd talk to my therapist about this strange inner urge when I see her next, but it's as if all she cares about is proving to me that I've got a condition I so very much know I don't. (see here)

I was only going by what you shared. From your other post I took it that smoking this weed without a medical reason, even being in possession of it is illegal. Anyone that does something illegal, on purpose, often, is the "wrong" crowd imo.

You're in therapy... for neither of those disorders? Did you DX yourself as being carefree and without anxiety? No, because that's why you're trying to smoke weed, to calm down. Use your Therapist to do that, your T can help you learn ways to calm down and feel great and it won't be illegal! And please do share with your T that you want to try the weed for the horrible anxiety feelings? Can you call T in between sessions???

unaluna · Oct 27, 2011, 12:02 AM

Have the past two Democratic Presidents taught us nothing? What will YOUR excuse be, Madame President, when the news of your teenage hooliganism is exposed at some fuure Dem Natl Convention? Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating, but you might be sacrificing some future opportunities by taking this one - it's the one marshmallow now or two marshmallows later delayed gratification test. Adulthood has begun! Good luck!

ECHOES · Oct 27, 2011, 01:51 AM

Wanting to be a part of a group, wanting to fit in, and wanting to lessen anxiety is so understandable.

You do already fit in

I don't even like to be around people who smoke pot/weed. That includes family members who think no one notices that when they go off to the garage, they are energetic and bright eyed...and when they come back inside they are like a helium balloon that has been around for a week.. their faces are sagging and they are deflated and dull. The stuff they laugh at is sometimes funny, but not as hilarious as it would appear. It's very fake. Stay real!

venusss · Oct 27, 2011, 02:18 AM

I am gonna be another dissenter here. Pot ain't evil. It does not make you evilest person evah! Nor does smoking one joint ruin your life, career and chance to find a partner who would love you and respect you.

I am not saying you should do it... for me weed enhances feelings, so I needed to be around people I am supercomfortable with.

I am not saying neither do it or don't... but I think sometimes being irrationally stiff in wanting to be goody-two-shoes is much worse than actually doing stuff. If you don't wanna do it... you don't have to but do it because you don't want to not because "good girls don't do drugs and I am a good girl, even if I so want to do it...". That is just as wrong as doing it because your friends do it.

ECHOES · Oct 27, 2011, 03:23 AM

There is nothing 'goody-two-shoes' about wanting to keep behavior legal. It's good sense and mature thinking.

Indie is a very mature teen.

And she asked for support in her choice to not smoke weed...

venusss · Oct 27, 2011, 05:06 AM

And I am not trying to do otherwise.

I guess I may immature long-since-teen, but I just don't see what the big deal is either way. Do it or don't... in the end it does not really matter and I if one needs scare mongering to keep from their decisions... Plus, I feel uncomfortable how people tell Indie to drop her friends because they smoke weed as if it was the worst thing in a friend.

There are "legal" ways to get high, meditation and astral projection and all the jazz... that is hella mind altering... so there are ways to achieve that without substances.

Fresia · Oct 27, 2011, 05:12 AM

I don't agree with dropping friends because of their doing drugs. It is simple enough to abstain if you choose not to partake. But having lost WAY too many friends to drugs, weed included because of the stupid things they've done while on it and seen them deteriorate, is scare mongering enough to me and scary enough to know to stay away from it - true fear of its repercussions.

Agreed, there are definitely other ways in life to find a high and pleasure without any kind of substance.

It is a good sign Indie is thinking through this, to come to her own decision of what is right for her. Very mature indeed.

Indie'sOK · Oct 27, 2011, 05:41 AM

I really appreciate it guys, thanks. Yeah, I don't agree that dropping my friends is necessary. Like I said, they aren't pressuring me to do it, they're simply available to do it with if I ever wanted to. But I can't see myself getting past the point of innocent curiosity, really.

lynn P. · 10:17 AM

I thinks its good to hear both opinions in this thread and not just cons against smoking it. I also believe with young people... if you villainize an act or a substance, it makes them want to do it more. If you present the honest pros and cons, they can make their own choice.

KathyM · Oct 27, 2011, 10:12 AM

(((Indie'sOK)))

When my son entered the age where his peers were experimenting with alcohol/drugs, he already knew how I felt about people who use alcohol/drugs as a crutch to get through life. If you don't need a crutch, why use one? If you want to stand tall in this world, you'll never do it on crutches. Besides, an altered mind can place a person at risk for severe danger in the real world - easy prey for wolves.

I told my son if he experiments with any mind-altering drug, I would prefer he choose marijuana over alcohol, ecstasy, other pills (uppers/downers) cocaine, etc. I told him this because it's not as destructive to the brain/body or habit-forming as the others. However, and this is a big HOWEVER, you can become emotionally dependent on MJ. It can get expensive if you buy it all the time, and it can ruin the joy you can achieve in life while completely sober. The BIG drawback to MJ is it will destroy your motivation to live and move forward in the real world.

I don't see why you should give up your friends. You can still "get high" by living clean and staying strong.

elliemay · Oct 27, 2011, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

And I am not trying to do otherwise.

I guess I may immature long-since-teen, but I just don't see what the big deal is either way. Do it or don't... in the end it does not really matter and I if one needs scare mongering to keep from their decisions... Plus, I feel uncomfortable how people tell Indie to drop her friends because they smoke weed as if it was the worst thing in a friend.

Well, it's not the worst thing to have in a friend, but it's not, in my opinion, a big check in the best column either. People who routinely engage in illegal activity have a bad habit of bringing trouble to those around them. If your friend gets caught carrying and you're with them, well that's just not a hassle that you need.

Also, if everyone else is stoned and you're sober, guess what that makes you? The driver, babysitter and munchy go-getter. Not so much fun really. More like work.

At least to me.

Not saying she should drop her friends, but there are definite drawbacks to hanging around with them.

Indie'sOK · Oct 27, 2011, 02:47 PM

They get high on weekends, and then only every so often. I don't hang out with my friends outside of school but once or twice a year. Not all my friends do it, and even then all they do is talk about it sometimes. Not once has one of them offered it to me.

I know part of our problem as a group is that we've all got low self-esteem. That could explain a lot of the issue. Some of us, myself included have or do SI, or have depression, or body image issues, etc. We're all a big melting pot of disorder.

(JD) · Oct 27, 2011, 04:03 PM

Well, again I was just referring to your connections that you made in your original post. If your friend's usage isn't part of your desire to use, why did you mention them?

It's good that you can probably keep them as friends and still not succumb. HOWEVER, elliemay is surely correct that YOU will take the fall for their smoking, regardless. And if that happens, no one is going to believe you that you weren't smoking. Plus, if they smoke around you, you're going to smell like it too.

There are other "friends" out there who won't put your future in any jeopardy, I'll bet.

Indie'sOK · Oct 27, 2011, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (JD)

Well, again I was just referring to your connections that you made in your original post. If your friend's usage isn't part of your desire to use, why did you mention them?

It's good that you can probably keep them as friends and still not succumb. HOWEVER, elliemay is surely correct that YOU will take the fall for their smoking, regardless. And if that happens, no one is going to believe you that you weren't smoking. Plus, if they smoke around you, you're going to smell like it too.

There are other "friends" out there who won't put your future in any jeopardy, I'll bet.

I wrote in my last post that they don't smoke around me because I only see them at school. I don't hang out with my friends very often - those that smoke hang out with each other. I mentioned them initially because they were the people from which I could obtain the drug should I ever want to.

venusss · Oct 27, 2011, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

I wrote in my last post that they don't smoke around me because I only see them at school. I don't hang out with my friends very often - those that smoke hang out with each other. I mentioned them initially because they were the people from which I could obtain the drug should I ever want to.

Worry not. No need to defend yourself. And seriously I don't think you are putting your future in jeopardy by being friends with somebody who sometimes does weed. Many many many people do it these days and I just don't think all of them and people who talk to them are doomed...

Indie'sOK · Oct 27, 2011, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

Worry not. No need to defend yourself. And seriously I don't think you are putting your future in jeopardy by being friends with somebody who sometimes does weed. Many many many people do it these days and I just don't think all of them and people who talk to them are doomed...

Right - there are bigger fish to fry (for lack of a better way to put it! :P)

Sanada · Oct 27, 2011, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bitsandpieces

I'm going to be the black sheep here. You need at least ONE black sheep!
I smoke weed, and I have never seen anything wrong with it. It's not something you do EVERY DAY, it won't impact your grades AT ALL. (I'm getting nearly all As, at the moment).
The key lies in moderation, if you do it all the time, it WILL impact your life; if you just do it when you feel like it, when you go out or when you're really stressed, it's more than fine. It's just like alcohol, you wouldn't drink every day. And, actually, it doesn't have all the aggressive side to it that alcohol has.
What it does do, is relax you, make you happy and dumb and giggly and weird and hungry for a while, and then pass.

I'm not saying you should do it. If you don't want to, you shouldn't. I understand you want to feel more confident and relaxed, I feel the same. I'm a jittery thing, nervous, tense, always in control, and I hate it. But, a thing I've learned is that if you're not comfortable in the first place, weed might just make it worse. If you decide to try it, make sure you're ALREADY feeling ok, don't do it TO feel ok, because it won't help, at all.
So there, this isn't some moralistic reason to not do it, but an actual, tested-on-myself sad, sad fact. If you're gonna smoke to feel better in a situation where you don't feel ok, it's not gonna work. If that is your only reason to, don't, because it'll make you a bazillion times more anxious and make you close yourself in your head.
What I am saying,though, is that it really doesn't deserve the stigma, it's nothing like hard drugs, it's something that may very well be legalized instead of alcohol, which is a much meaner thing.

You are right moderation is 'a' key (not the key).

In the UK weed is pratically legal. I have seen though weed withdrawls.
I smoked my first 'joint' when I was 22. I seriously do not suggest a teenager doing it for the simple reasons that the Statics Stand - Any teenager whom gets addicted to weed 80% (proven medicaly), gets paranioa psychotic episodes and memory loss by 28 yrs old - Fact.

I seen 18 yrs olds going through weed withdrawl, its fcked up (in my opinion).
I seen the same 18 yr olds at 28 going through psychotic episodes. (i do not say never, i say time you're choices).

I like I said a late starter, but being a late starter was normal for me, and I was an Actor/circus/ballet dancer. That saved me....I could not be smashed on stage, or esp on a trapezze bar..

Time and place...when I was 17 the last thing in my mind was getting wasted on a drug I had never even heard of..lol.

By the time I was 30 though I was a heroin addict...go figure.

Sanada · Oct 27, 2011, 04:49 PM

I would like to just say...(like Bill Hicks...whom I saw twice and I met him once - in the UK).

If there is a war on drugs..........

.......the drug takers are winning..lol

nannypat · Oct 28, 2011, 04:18 PM

As a college student in the 70's many of my peers smoked pot between classes. I had to go to work after classes because I was paying for my own schooling so I had to be ok to go to work. I often tell people I didn't have to buy or smoke it because when they would come back to the group after smoking, they were a show in themselves. If they could have ever seen how out of it, laughing about nothing, not being able to form a simple sentence, I wonder if that would have stopped them. ( WE didn't have cell phones then that we could video them on to show them.lol) I guess I just really am getting old!

It's not worth the trouble it causes. Stand your ground. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Trust your instincts. They are usually right.

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