Meaningless letters and phone calls

I'm tired of my so called "family", (more like a bunch of nuts), calling me and talking to me as though nothing has ever happened between us.

What's up with that?....Is the reality of what happened in the past supposed to be forgotten as if it never happened?

My Aunt Dana called today, it has been years. She blabbed on about how happy she was to talk to me, and asked me how I was doing....so on so on....bs.

Then the other day I recieved a letter from my Aunt Susie, and she acted as though I was the one who disappeared out of her life.

I'm ticked off because it's all meaningless. I'd rather these people stay gone as they were before. I was fine without them.....why bother me now?

My entire family has disappeared before my eyes. There is one that remains...my sister...that's it. These "people", need to continue being absent, and leave me alone. I know they don't give a beeep, about me. They don't even know my kids names.

Anyway, sorry....I just needed to get that out. I just wanted to complain about how it wastes stamps, and long distance charges.

Desirae

it's fine to vent about family members. we all have some that we'd rather not see or hear from. i have a brother that if i never see again, it won't bother me in the least.

Its been years between contact with some of my relatives. Some of them over the years have contacted me out of curiosity and sometimes genuine missing me. The way I have dealt with it is if they are taking the time to locate me and call or write then I also take the time to be back in their lives BUT I also make sure they know I don't blame them for the abuse situations that they did not do that is the perpetrators fault not thiers But I also don't hide the fact that I still experience problems from the abuse and am still not going to retract or hide what happened. This comes about very naturally when they first ask how are you and what have you been doing - my answer is flat out I have good days and I have bad days, Im still in therapy and taking various classes like parenting, anger management and depression classes and my support gorups when needed and of course learning how to take care of the dissociative Identity Disorder and doing that is a 24/7 job in itself with artwork journaling, classes and therapy. If they are contacting me for curiosity sake that answers all their questions and I never hear from them again. If they are calling for genuine missing and loving and accepting me they stay in contact and we work on learning about each other again. Laura Davis's website and book "I thought we'd never speak again" comes in very handy for my mom and a couple other relatives and I forming a new relationship that is one where we aren't hiding what happened but are looking more at having a better relationship then what we had before my disclosure of the abuse.

desirae...when it all comes down to it (so to speak)...our family members are just like most folks...they reach out when they're in need....they realize that they need the family connection...but sometimes it's just too late...sometimes not....at least...check it out....they may be sincerely reaching out for something that they should have maintained a long time ago...(and it can be valuable)....who knows? all that I can say is that the longer I live, the less judgemental I am and the more open minded I am....love ya....grace

Although I don't have this problem, I think a lot of people like to sweep stuff underneath the carpet. My bf and his family are a lot like your family. I think it's a shame that people can't face up to reality or to the facts of the past.

Hang in there. I'm thinking of you.