Hi everyone,

I just remembered today, about a memory I had of many years ago...where my brother almost died. I couldn't have been older than 6, and he is 2 years younger than me. Anyway, we were at a family's campsite and playing alone. I was told to watch him. Well, I guess I got distracted by something else and he escaped to the dock...later he said it was to wash his hands. Anyway, he fell in and couldn't swim.

I didn't hear him fall in, but went looking for him once I realized he was gone. The only reason I saw him was because I could see the very top of his head - his brown hair, floating on the water. I couldn't swim either, so I just ran and screamed until somebody heard me. They jumped in and got him, and he ended up living. It was close though. And at one point in my life, I felt like it was my fault since I wasn't watching him.

A few years later, my brother and I were waiting for the school bus. Suddenly, a white car came ripping down the street, doing crazy moves and even a 360. It was a guy driving, trying to impress those watching. Anyway, he was driving towards us really fast, so at the last second I grabbed my brother and pulled him into the ditch with me. One of the tires would have hit us, for sure. So when that happened, my mindset was sort of like "Well, I saved him this time, so now I don't have to feel so bad about before".

I had totally forgotten about these two events until today. I'd imagine that everyone has had a near-death experience though, right?

[wing]

I haven't had a near-death experience, but it amazes me that your parents allowed you to be in charge of your brother, near water, at age 6. Certainly that was irresponsible and I'm glad everything worked out.

Originally Posted by wingin'it

I haven't had a near-death experience, but it amazes me that your parents allowed you to be in charge of your brother, near water, at age 6. Certainly that was irresponsible and I'm glad everything worked out.

My parents weren't at the camp...my uncle was in charge. He is not the most responsible individual...but I don't hold any resentment towards him for what happened.

[Yoda]

I've had near death from the perspective that my abuser said he was about to end my life and had the means to do so. That felt near-death.

[Perna]

I believe almost doesn't count except in horse shoes and hand grenades.

For me, people win or they do not, they die or they do not, they get an "A" or they do not, etc. It is not that I am a perfectionist or into all-or-nothing dichotomies or believe that such scary experiences cannot be behavior changing and influential in our future choices, but I try to resist the "if only", "what if", or guilt/miracle false thinking that can go along with them.

What happens, happens. If you had not called for help, your brother would probably have drowned but that would not have been your fault or responsibility. It was an accident that your brother fell into the water; no one meant for him to and, in many ways, you could not necessarily have kept him from doing so (he was probably too big and heavy for you to have physically stopped him if he decided to go down to the dock anyway, despite your "telling" him not to). It was his own inattention and failure to think things through that caused him to fall into the water.

Danger surrounds us constantly; we only have the illusion of safety from our lifestyles and culture. We have seen how hurricanes and cyclones, etc. can wipe our lovely brick houses off the map better than the wolf blowing down the 3 little piggies houses! Earthquakes, fires, crossing the street, going to sleep and having the furnace malfunction; all can get us killed. I remember the east coast earthquake we had this summer; my husband was in bed over my head and I finally ran outside because he weighs an enormous amount, we have a heavy, king-sized bed and this house isn't the best-built dwelling I've been in! I could imagine the bed, with my husband on it, crashing through the ceiling and crushing me.

I believe near-death experiences are similar to my imagining the bed crashing through the ceiling during the earthquake. It didn't so I would not say, "I almost died!" but not dying from any event is equal to me.

All of us will watch young children near water, maybe because of your story, Melissa, and I'm sure your brother is grateful you pulled him out of the path of the idiot white car driver but there might come a day when your brother will be in harm's way and you won't be able to help, whether you are there next to him or not. Do not waste your time feeling guilty for not saving him. That is ultimately his job, saving himself if it is possible.

[di meliora]

Yes, Melissa. I have had many near death experiences. Most times I would have a sense of foreboding. I learned to trust that sense.

[Ardmore]

I had many when I was a kid but I was a weird child back then.

[arcangel]

A situation where you quite possibly could have died? Sure. Are we sharing?
1. Two guys...one w/ a knife to my belly and the other w/ a gun to my head...I knew they wanted to kill me but not bad enough...was close but I got out of it
2. riding in a truck doing 80mph that hit an embankment and flipped seven or eight times. No seat belts. Now that one I fully expected to die. The driver and I both crawled out of what was left of the truck w/ only a few scratches and bruises
3. was this close to a bomb that didn't go off.
A couple of other things.
I don't consider those near death experiences as in seeing a bright white light in a tunnel. Just close calls.
I hope your brother appreciates what you did .

a little info first..bomb dogs when they "hit" on an explosive are supposed to sit..rock soilid still & point with their nose at the object.

i was working the dog & we went over to the suspicious package ...gave the command & the dog sniffed it, & SAT. rock solid. i muttered a very quiet "oh fecal matter" & then the dog took her nose & nudged the package over. yeah my life..crappy as it was flashed before me as i ran from the scene..yeleeling clear the area & some loud "oh fecal matters".

turns out because we had so many suspicious incidents the dog had burn out & had just reacted badly to a sandwich. she was retired the next week since she was unreliable.

i have had a few near death incidents...from the abuse as a kid (my parents had a serious death wish for me...they felt that if you weren't pretty & dumb you should be dead..seriously a smart woman was so not needed in the world & they tried very hard to fufill that prophesy) to incidents happening during 18 years of law enforcement

[lynn P.]

((melissa.recovering)) - I'm so sorry you had to see your brother almost drown. Kids who don't know how to swim should never been near water unsupervised. This wasn't your fault because at that age, you weren't old enough to supervise another child. Its great you were able to save your brother and yourself from that speeding car. These 2 events wee traumatic but thank God your brother was saved in time.

I haven't had any near death experiences, although a break in that happened could have gone wrong I suppose. My youngest also had cellulitis in her knee one time that could have ended up very bad. When my oldest was in grade 6, her classmate lost his 4 yr old brother in their family pool. The had just installed it 3 days prior and he, his sister and 4 yr old brother were playing hide and go seek. They couldn't find him and started looking all over. Unfortunately he wondered into the back yard. The poor older brother dove in to get him but it was too late. I think all parents should make sure their kids take swimming lessons.

[Sabrina]

I had a near drowning experience when I was little. I had just learned to hold my breath under water and so thought I could swim. I jumped into the deep end of the pool and promptly sank. My Dad jumped in and saved me.

My son almost drowned too, and we were right there! It is a traumatic memory.

My other near death experience was from an almost successful suicide attempt. I'm happy today that I didn't die!

[beauflow]

My brother ( 5 years older than me) hit me in a head with a swinging teeter totter (it was metal horse shape- I was 3 years old when it happened).. I had a fracture skull, I had to go to the er-- not sure if that is near death but that is someone trying to kill me-- I say that due to my Other brother (7 years older) and my 2nd older sister (6 years older) both said the same story (my sister told me when I was around 8, and my older brother when I was 21)....... My Brother 5 years older than I was calling my name in the park, and as he was calling my name he had already gotten up to speed on this swinging teeter totter--- both of my older siblings told me that he just called my name and kept building momentem.. my father use to tell me that my brother 5 years older than I was so jelous of me-- cuz I was the baby when I came home, cuz I was the last child, he was not any more--- There are some other factors too but I wont go there...

Then Drug Overdosing I tried to do to myself.

Be well all!