It is not me what is the problem... it is the world and having to live in it

venusss · Nov 23, 2011, 02:10 PM

Trigger for philosophizing.

So I have been thinking lately (as if I ever done something else) and one thing occured to me. I don't have problem with myself per se. Sure I have way too many fears, and feel I am too intense sometimes, and I have hurt people and I have hard time forgiving myself for that, I am not as capable as I would want to, I am powerless in the world.

All these problems I have, most of them anyways... they come from me interacting with the world. While I am very interconnected with the real world and the events around me influence me... at the same time I live in my own world... so outside happenings shatter my inner worlds, because it is not how I would like it to be. It is about the others, but it is about me as well, to a big degree.

The issues I have... they would not be problem if I were an island or lived in perfect environment. So I would be down, but it would not matter as much and there would not be outside pressure to make me even worse. If it was not for the "world" I would not have to push myself and put myself in situations that harm me emotionally or trigger some feelings in me. So what that I am manic... if there would be no restrictions and I could do whatever I could without repercussions? As a world of its own... all my applitudes, even fears... make sense.

The "problem" comes up when I have to interact with the world (or let's be more exact and say "other people's worlds", because everybody has world of their own... and the "real world" is consisted of our interaction and interdependence. Sorta like countries in the world system... and maybe as chaotic, with inner turmoils and all). So I guess this is where most people, even the normal ones have problem... it takes time to learn how to work in the system, how to function. The interaction of our very different worlds causes the most problems.

I don't know what can be done about it... because if I was to learn from International Relations... then there is not answer. I guess the best way to survive, prosper and be well is to learn to recognize other's worlds and learn what the shared meanings are. Challenge the system only when it is worth it, learn to adapt at other times (how we do it is another question).

Open Eyes · Nov 23, 2011, 03:06 PM

"I don't know what can be done about it... because if I was to learn from International Relations... then there is not answer. I guess the best way to survive, prosper and be well is to learn to recognize other's worlds and learn what the shared meanings are. Challenge the system only when it is worth it, learn to adapt at other times (how we do it is another question)." quote Venus

Yes, I would say that this is a good way to proceed. I believe it is safe to say that for thousands of years human beings have experienced psychological issues and challenges. I would add that human beings are designed to ask questions, continuously learn and search for meaning and ways to survive and thrive. I would also say that it is human nature to desire a sense of structure and feeling of safety within that structure in which they can adapt and survive. I can also say that throughout history human beings have been challenged in many ways, wether it be by nature or human nature.

While we were not designed to be an island and so form groups to ensure our own existance, developing skills to cope within these groups can present a constant challenge. History has proven that we are always creating new ways to live in groups and become more organized, civilized and continue to thrive.

Because life itself can present so many obstacles we have constantly sought ways to relieve our human incapacities to understand the meaning of the whole by seeking a overall faith that resembles something that is higher, or greater than ourselves.

As each of us are only merely human beings it is important to find our individual balance so we, ourselves can practice our given right by shear existance, to thrive and survive.

And as we make a conscious decision to take on this process that continues all our lives, we must find ways to respect that others deserve to do the same. As we become more and more knowledgable about the human brain and different ways the brain learns and percieves, even if it may contain a lack, we will begin to learn more about how to understand others, support others, and thrive more than ever before.
But this is going to take time to understand. Until then we all must do our best to continue to do our best to find our own personal balance and make efforts to allow others to do the same as long as it can be in a more peaceful manner.

Live your life Venus, do your best, learn what you can and realize that you are going to experience your own limitations, however, that doesn't mean you do not deserve to find balance and see if you can help others do the same.

Open Eyes

madisgram · Nov 23, 2011, 03:29 PM

i could identify with a lot of your musings, venus. i've even considered trying to find a remote island to live on. but my hesitation is this, would i find i was living to the fullest or primarily existing? life can be difficult with all this invasive stuff for me too. but the alternative for me would make me hungry for human interaction even tho i'm uncomfortable sometimes.

cin1 · Nov 24, 2011, 02:48 PM

i understand. when i am to myself, no one questions me, my thoughts, my actions. but when i am out driving , people pass me all the time and get angry with me. i have wondered what is going on with them, but there have been a lot of people doing that to me, that i know it is me, not them. i will never fit in to society. i try to be polite and not do anything to draw attention to myself. Sometimes i just don't like people, a lot of times, really.

di meliora · Nov 25, 2011, 11:23 AM

To say living in the world is the problem is rather remarkable. If each of us could live in a world made to our specifications problems that would otherwise plague would not exist.

wikkawadi · Nov 26, 2011, 08:15 PM

I feel the way you do. I work in Mental Health as a peer, and I am on my last year of social work. I am doing my internship at an inpatient mental health treatment center for young people, ages 18 to 24. Sometimes practicioners in this field act like if you think there's something wrong or sad, it's just because something is wrong with you. You're not normal like they are.

drdoolittle · Nov 27, 2011, 08:59 AM

I was recently profiled as "superior intelect" it can be a two edged sword...feeling misundeestood...and alone..you are not...

understanding this may help...there are a lot of people with problems out there...it may be hard to function in a normal capacity ,,,when "you" are just normal

Lexi232 · Nov 27, 2011, 07:31 PM

*nods* ... If your able to find a group of people who dont always cause a problem for you, and point you out as the problem, that would be ideal... But I'm lost in that as well. Because most everyone I come in contact with in the real life, is in their own world, and expect nothing but what pleases them, and what they want... and if you don't continue that on, then theres something wrong with you (or so they say). I've noticed a lot of what is going on in relationships, is its either one persons fault or the own selfs fault. Since most don't want to see fault in their self, they place it onto other people and blame the other person. But in reality, it's both parties. (in my opinon and experience)

Inedible · Nov 27, 2011, 09:38 PM

The funny thing is that even on that perfect island, with all your needs met, it still isn't possible to avoid problems. Life has a way of intruding and forcing conflicts.

jitters · Nov 29, 2011, 12:57 AM

I have noticed that Western society is hyper-aggressive and predicated on a model of domination/subjugation. And that this social model fosters traits like ruthlessness, self-absorption, avariciousness, callousness, etc., and discourages traits that promote healthy interpersonal connection.

I'm not sure that it's possible for an emotionally healthy person to find contentment in such a profoundly sick society.

Btw, philosophizing is triggering?

Sanada · Nov 29, 2011, 03:04 AM

On this subject I do see myself as an island (an individual). The only place I can experience the world is from behind my eyes and in my body. I do believe human interaction is of the utter most importance for generating progression for myself in life if I am to live my life to the fullest.

A way of seeing myself (I told my T), as a simple 'model', I'll use is - I / human beings, are like islands in a tank all together. We are like 'thermometers' floating in a tank together but separate to each other. The vast majority of human beings will stay with what is commonly called 'the normal (temp). Staying together in the 'so - called' norm is what it 'seems' humans do. Compared to their own culture.

Also there are the ones who like to test the temp 'by choice', so will drift off from the 'norm', and go in to either hotter or colder water. I guess I would call these 'adventures' or 'explorers'.
Its cool to be an explorer of the human condition. I consider myself in this class, I have explored and reached out to test the temp (i.e the way, of the other ways of life, be it spirituality, culture, politics, philosophy and even - drugs). What I did was 'very dangerous' though (again this is a model I present to my T sometimes). When exploring the outside the 'normal temp' of the human average (esp with drugs), the 'Thermometer' can be broken (i.e - very hot or very cold); and like all thermometer's once broken (or changed) cannot be undone. 'I' was lucky to survive.

The vast majority of people I have known, or have met irl, are people who will stay with the 'herd' or 'group' for the norm. Not explorers types, I cannot have intellectual convo's with them, simply because the have not been interested in things like - 'Philosophy' or 'Psychology'.

Also there are natural drifters from the norm (I love saying that - norm, its funny cause it is not 'real' really), the ones who are 'naturally' different to others around them. In whatever way possible, all of us are relevant and valid and equal to the others around us, other 'Thermometers'.

To sum up, picture a pool with a gradient of an infinity of temp's, most human beings hang around the middle of the pool, where its a constant temp. Others on either end will drift far into the hotter side of the pool and others into the cooler side of the pool.
We all need to know though what's going on 'all around the pool', and I guess that's where human interaction comes in. Communication with all other sides of say - society, religion, culture, ideas, politics, etc etc.

Philosophy is deff not a trigger for me. I love it (cause I like to build models to map myself and to understand others in the world).

Perna · Nov 29, 2011, 04:47 AM

There is always those "other" worlds, even within one's own head. One can't react/respond to "nothing"? There'd be a void if there was nothing out there, being manic would have no meaning.

Living in your head, you are still making up other worlds in there and, for me, they caused most of my problems, not the outside world. The outside world is the same problem for everyone but the inside one is different/changeable based only on ourselves. It's the inside world that is treacherous.