Had Enough

I'm not sure what to do. No matter what decisions I make or do or say, I seem to be wrong. I'm not nice enough in the tone of my voice, my coworker is constantly bad mouthing me to my boss and now to the area manager. I used to be this reasonably confident person who believed in herself and now I don't even want to have the keys to the office. My professional life is now rubbish. Tomorrow, there is a good chance I will lose the only job I've ever liked because I'm WRONG.
I sit at home when I'm not at work with nothing to do. I'm sad and lonely and have nobody to talk to. I'm starting to climb the walls. I tried to go back and go volunteer work but either the roles available conflict with my work (eg conflict of interest) or there are no spots for me. My family is planning a huge BBQ where everyone is going to be there except me because I have to work. I miss out. I miss out on going home for Christmas (again) as well because my work won't give me leave at this time of year even for a few days. My housemates don't want to hang out with me. They prefer my other housemate who is much younger, thinner and prettier.
I've had enough of my life and I just don't know what to do anymore. I doubt ever decision that I make. My relationships with men are non-existent. In fact the last one tried to leave me standing by the side of the road crying (only didn't because I refused to get out of the car). All I want to do is cry and go to sleep. Is it always going to be this way ?

You didn't get out of the car.

That says a whole lot about you. I'd be willing to bet that it doesn't always have to be the way it is now, not if you have that attitude that made you stay in the car.

All of us here have problems that brought us here. I hope you'll check out the forums, post anywhere you feel any connection, get to know some of the folks & let us get to know you better. A lot of us benefit just by posting, getting our feelings down where we can see them. Getting some feedback helps too.

I'm glad you're here. If you need help settling in, just ask around. Lots of nice folks around will be happy to help. There's lots of support here, at least that's what I've found in my few months here.

Keep coming back!

It has always been this way and never seems to get any better. I've always though there was something wrong with me to the point where I thought I might be slow. I'm 33 years old and have no friends, no social life and can't hold even a simple relationship.

Have you talked with any kind of counselor? Been thru any sort of testing? Maybe there is some problem, but unless you know what it is you can't do anything to fix it. Most problems can be fixed!

I simply can't afford counselling or drugs. My job is only four days a week and it is low pay. I can't afford health insurance of any sort.

I hope you don't lose your job and can work it out so it works better for you. Maybe join a club or take a class instead of volunteering? Just get out where there might be others to meet who might become friends or people to hang with?

There are free clinics or ones that work on a sliding scale by what you make. There is help out there. Please don't be so hard on yourself, I am sure there is a good person in there somewhere if you just look!

Thanks for the the advice but there are no clinics like that here in Melbourne. I had a nervous breakdown a few years ago and was semi-unemployed so if there was such a thing, I would know about it.

http://www.swinburne.edu.au/lss/psyc...unselling.html

ALSO Free or low cost counselling may be available through universities, community centres, charities, and religious organisations.
http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/...ounsellors.cfm