[Tamezen2015]

In this thread I am just surmising, and ponderous so I write down my thoughts and feelings as responses to the confusing situation I am presently in. I have lots of questions running inside my head, in fact they are too many I cannot remember any one of them but my emotional state ... frustrations and anger... say that something wrong if not horrible is blocking me in this final journey of my life.
I am a dreamer...rather, goal-oriented...the worst thing that can ever happen in my life is when I am blocked or prevented from achieving my goals. I have major goals which are set according to the given stage of my life; and the minor goals should jibe with the major stream of my goals. I keep myself assertive to my thoughts, feelings, people in my horizon, objects in my environment among others; to assess and evaluate my progress in terms of my goals.
Yes, I know that I sound very serious as if I take life seriously, as if to be serious about life would award me immortality. Not really, in fact people around me would comment that they envy me for my light outlook in life because I never give importance to anything that they deem worth-dying for. Perhaps I am an egotist in the sense that anything or anyone, or any activity for that matter that has nothing to do with me and my progress in the goals I set for myself, I ignore and reject...they mean completely nothing to me.
Perhaps, I am stern and rigid to myself; but not really...I have my own version of fun and my fun is real fun...fantasy is out of the way; I know my reality and I live it.
Okay, such a litany but I remember one question out of the many that can never find answers but just to live by and see what happens...the only answer is to live my life in a moment by moment basis...the answers can be seen in living my own life in complete awareness given that I am that assertive...most often the answers pass me by without me taking notice of it and so I feel despondent when I realize that I have delayed reactions that had piled up.
Now this question; What is bothering me now if any? This is the perennial question that I have been asking myself since time immemorial.
Answer? Yes, answer...it's written in the stars.

[lynn P.]

It sounds like you have an excellent plan and thank you for sharing. Are you having trouble with achieving some of these goals...I'm not sure of the question. Best of luck.

[Tamezen2015]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

It sounds like you have an excellent plan and thank you for sharing. Are you having trouble with achieving some of these goals...I'm not sure of the question. Best of luck.

Thanks for the comment...Not really having trouble ; I am doing all I can but circumstances around are delaying me in my progress; I know that eventually I will get there, meaning I will achieve my goal in perfect timing...but I know too that such perfect timing is determined by "Destiny", it's beyond my control...I had done my share of the action and there's nothing else that I can do so far but to wait...it's like planting some seed in the soil...it's up to the universe or to nature when the harvest would be, or we depend on nature of the perfect timing for harvest.

Hello tamazen,

It sounds to me that you enjoy looking at the stars in the sky and enjoying the beauty of nature; like thick forests and waterfalls and sunrises and sunsets. I've always enjoyed those things also. My family owned a large dog, german shephard, when I was young, 2-5 years old, and I would explore the areas around our home with my dog. I developed a strong attachment to the earth and its beauty.

Human nature, I was less attached to, than the earths nature. I found that I had to live with other people and I needed to make peace with their customs and traditions. Sometimes I think humankind could live much better if we all weren't so concerned with luxery and financial security. I mean, money isn't edible and valuable stuff attracts theives. Nevertheless, I need to accept the customs and traditions of others, especially if I want them to accept me into their groups. I can still think my own thoughts without having to be afraid that I'm doing something wrong by thinking my own thoughts. I don't think anybody has enough power to force anyone to think anything, and when it does happen that someone tries to force their thoughts on others, I know I, anyway, will pretend that I agree just to make these people go away thinking that they have accomplished their "mission".

I think that you are brave to post your thoughts here. Keep it up!

A.

[Tamezen2015]

Hi brookwest,
Thank you for the comment, I like reading it. Actually it's just an idiomatic expression...it's not really actual staring at stars in a starry night though I love doing that too at times...I love nature and the stars and the moon at night lifts my spirit away from the mundane.
Yes, I am straightforward and I love to express my thoughts even in public. I am not scared of objection or criticism because in the first place, I don't im pose my beliefs to others...I am just surmising...and I know that my truth is mine alone just as other people have their truths too different from my own...I respect anyone's outlook in life...

[Alcinus_of_chell]

I never give importance to anything that they deem worth-dying for. Perhaps I am an egotist in the sense that anything or anyone, or any activity for that matter that has nothing to do with me and my progress in the goals I set for myself, I ignore and reject...they mean completely nothing to me.

You are the Ubermensch! Way to go!

[Tamezen2015]

Originally Posted by Alcinus_of_chell

You are the Ubermensch! Way to go!

Hmmm...thanks, but do I deserve that?