What is the use of venting? Clarity maybe?

Okay, a lot of you know about my son and his girlfriend. Well, I will start with yesterday and work backwards. I asked son what his sched was like for today and he said he had to study all day and might have to work in the p.m. if he is called in. I told him I thought we would be doing fencing and he said that he could not help. Turns out the young male helpers couldn't either. Anyway, at 10:00 his alarm goes off so I am not afraid a little while later to shout something to my husband who was downstairs and I was up. Son was angry that I was shouting while he was trying to sleep and being rude. I was annoyed as there were/are a lot of things to do. Oh well, daughter drove me to get shelves and mud rugs. Came home and there is a pile of damp laundry on the chair no one put there. Had to be girlfriend. DUH! I hung them up. Next I see a large pot in which I had made dog food on the floor. The rescue dogs are not eating so I bought hamburg yesterday and boiled with rice, garlic and veggies and boiled it. Had given it to them this a.m., they loved it. Figured it was a week's worth for the dog family. Well, son was annoyed that I had put food in fridge without cover so he threw it on the floor and the dogs pigged out on a week's worth of food. I told him it was dog food. He said he thought it was rice and beans, At any rate, it was $10 worth of burger and a half big baf of rice.

He gave me $10.00 and it is again cooking on the stove. I am going to be getting ground meat from a friend that will be much less expensive.

It's been very muddy here. We were out of hay. The neighbor brought us a round bale but couldn't move it to pasture due to mud. I came in and asked all kids to go help their dad roll it to a good spot and cover it. Only daughter helped.

Hubby and I took all of the peed upon floor mats and a few rugs and went to the car wash and cleaned them. Worked great. Now they have to drip so we can bring them in by furnace to dry.

Son says I slam around the house angry all of the time. I became aware that I was slamming about cleaning up and making new dog food. An apology would have been nice. My husband is afraid to ask princess to poop scoop litters. I say she has two cats, I buy litter, I scoop, let her as well. She follows my son everywhere and whines. He can't go to class, she goes with him. She follows him to work. He does not have any time alone. It ain't healthy! And there is nothing I can do.

Just call me frustrated mother.

ww, if they don't start helping more go on strike until they do
It has worked for me

WW,

I know this is your son, but you need to lay some ground rules. It is your house, not his. If he won't abide by them, you need to consider some punitive steps.

Hugs,

Jan

Sorry people are unappreciative of the things you do. It sounds like you have some valid concerns. Perhaps you could go over them with your son and his girlfriend?

I agree with Jan on this. This is YOUR home and laying ground rules sounds like a great idea to me.

I wish you luck and I hope things calm down for you soon.

If they are above 18 yrs old you can expect anything from them for this is your home. Even if they are under age your rules go. May seem heartless but is just truth. If they need to do chores to live there then what is that. No less than they would have to do in their own home.

Thanks everyone. I have a trigger, that is that I don't want my kids to think I am mean and horrid. No matter what I do they already think that. Couldn't hurt to ask for specific chores today though last time I did that I was told I was treating them like children. Can't win.

Hi WW! I believe that you can win. Have you tried making their lives so unbearable..that they will move out? And don't worry about any "afterflack". Cuz it's their problem-not gonna be yours. WW..assume the attack formation!!

Take good care. This really fuels my fire!!Arghhh

WW,

This is one war that you can't afford to lose. Are your children over 18? If they are, they can abide by your rules or find their own homes. That sounds horrid, but they need to respect you. If they think you're nasty already, what have you got to lose?

Hugs,

Jan

Okay folks, you win, I think I am going to go wake the girlfriend now and tell her she needs to fold her laundry and vacuum before she leaves for work at 2:30. Thanks for the encouragement. I will let you know how it goes.

I did it. I woke her up and asked that she vacuum and sweep before work. She did, though not so great but she got to see me getting the corners as I was getting ready to mop the floor. Next time She will be more careful. And guess what? My scaredy cat rescue dog went out to pee all by herself just now. It was amazing. Maybe I won't have to live in a kennel for too long.

Hi, I went out this a.m. and picked up some vicodin as I was out and back hurting a lot. I took a pill, threw the bag in my trash can in my van and had the meds in the cup holder. I stopped and ran into the discoun beverage place and picked up my 2 sodas for $2.00. I never noticed anything. I came home and overdid. Washed floors, did a lot of laundry, carried in a hevy wet rug, carried the pee doggy out. So about an hour ago I started having a lot of pain and went to get the pills. No pills. Called pharmacy, not reported found. Called Beverage place, of course not found. Called the police and reported. He told me to lock my car from now on, something I never do. Called the doc on call and of course they don't help with narcotics for patients they don't know. I have never lost a perscription. Called the pharmacy back and he put up a few for the night for me so hubby is picking up. I feel so stupid. I got my meds stolen! I have never had this happen, and one of the pharmacists at the drug store has been my pharmacist for many years so she can attest to the fact that this has never happened before. I guess I feel paranoid, like they won't believe me. geez louise, better quit the seltzer habit.

it's getting to me! Time to really stomp down and let a little reality hit. Thanks for the support.