Pondering

Stumpy, elliemay, Lynn, and nice to meet you horseontheloose, welcome to PC.

You all have valid points and I hope you don't think I am abandoning your suggestions at all. I have actually utilized those ideas and actions in my past and they are what truely helped me survive. I definitely have gained some hope by reading your posts and how you have grown to not allow the issues you have to overcome your lives. It truely tells others that they can learn to do the same.

Lynn, the abuse forum can seem like some ruminate, I saw that more when I first came here. That is a hard call to be honest, and I tread lightly in that thread. I have to say that I really havent seen members ruminate too long in there, often they get stuck on some memories and I do think that when they get to a point where they can actually discuss the troubled memories, very few times do I see them NOT progress, but it is a slow process, and it really requires the help of a good therapist.

Sometimes members come here and they don't have a therapist, I was one of them, It took me a few months to find a therapist for what I have. So I often see that once a person gets to express their troubles here, I see a lot of growth. I have seen a lot of people truely progress in that abuse forum, and Shanna and others there are right there to offer support. Bill gave out a lot of tips on informational sites etc. and I learned so much from him. Once a member gets through the rumination aspect, they don't necessarily hang on to that, they grow and then I have seen them reach out to others. I don't really "NOW" see too many, if any, that just resign to rumination.

"I don't know all your details but I think the main problem is your PTSD. I had this after my house was broken into while I was in the house. I didn't know what it was but now I recognize this is what I had. Most sufferers of this are super sensitive with many jumbled thoughts and feelings. They react differently because of this condition." quote Lynn P.

Yes your right about my problems revolving around the fact that I have PTSD. Here, in your reaction to your house being broken into, this is Post Tramtic Stress, and not the full blown disorder. Post Tramatic Stress is what I thought I had, and felt that in time it would just pass and I would overcome and move on. And many people do experience Post Tramatic Stress after car accidents, or a sudden death, or what your expressing here. And with help and time they do overcome it, though the discomfort with the experience is never forgotten, we simply don't forget these events but we can move on from them.

Post Tramatic "Disorder" is very different, it can develope in childhood from abuse, and confusion, there is a pathology for it that shows a childs hypocamps is shrunken from stressors and they experience difficulty learning, feeling self reliant, and safe. What this does is create a pathology in the brain that weakens it so that added experiences can worsen the condition making it more difficult to recover. And it is known that a variety of psychological responses can take place as a result of childhood trama, depending upon what it is. Children end up trying to compensate on their own and often this can present Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Multiple personality Disorder, Disassociative Disorder and even Depressive disorder. Alot depends on what is provided for a child to help them compensate from experiencing various kinds of abuse and neglect.

If a person experiences a long period of being in a very stressful insecure environment, for example; long period of childhood sexual abuse, long period of being bullied; long troubled marriage that contains abuse and high stress and threat of personal boundaries and parental progress to just name a few long term stressors. A person unknowingly can slowly develope Post Tramatic Stress "Disorder". And ofcourse we all are pretty much aware of what War Vets present as well.

When a person is forced in a long term stressful environment that person will go into a hyperstate where they distract the damage and instead over-ride with simply functioning through this environment, we are all designed to do this for sheer survival. However, though there is a result of immediate survival, the brain doesn't forget the effects of the experience, which includes all the visual and emotional reactions to the living conditions or events. So, in effect, the disorder is accumulating without a person truely understanding or even acknowledging what is actually taking place. It is not just Post Tramatic Stress from one shocking incident, it is Post Tramatic "Disorder" from accumulative disturbing events. And what can happen is if this disorder is present on a functioning level, a sudden dramatic event can aggrivate it to a level where a person truely becomes overwhelmed and presents a condition of flashbacks, many triggers, extreme hypervigilance, depression, loss of sense of purpose, inability to experience normal pleasure from various activities that used to present pleasure and even a desire to isolate in confusion.

When this happens, these individuals become very misunderstood, even by themselves. The ruminating is often forced upon them through flashbacks/nightmares and triggers and the people who suffer become very confused and they themselves do not seem to know how they will react to their environment/social situations etc. Along with this condition comes a deep seeded anger, that can come out as a result of any experience that presents a forced activity/response/ violation for the person who has the full blown "Disorder".

Though it is called an anxiety disorder, it is truely more complicated than that because the person can have so much build up that any uncomfortable experience or interaction can present unwanted anger/stress/confusion/frustration/deep despair/exhaution and depression and a deep feeling of personal failure.

The disorder pathologically changes the normal transmitter processing in the frontal part of the brain. It also interrupts the part of the brain that storrs pictures, another part of the brain that stores deep emotional memories that doesn't contain words to go with these emotional memories. There is a uniqueness in each person who presents this disorder because of how this disorder was developed. Therefore, unless that person is assisted in "SLOWLY" unraveling the actual confusion of this disorder,
sadly the person will often simply retreat and become very depressed and lost.

There has been an ongoing effort to study the complexities of this disorder and various therapies are being used to help these people who truely struggle with this disorder. A person that has this disorder cannot truely learn to slowly overcome it on their own. It is crucial that these people are placed in a supportive atmosphere where they can slowly learn to release themselves from a sense of personal guilt and sense of loss and sense that they themselves are guilty in some way for thier inability to interact normally, process normally, and feel they have regained the capacity to be productive and regain their sense of personal value etc.

Ruminating? This is something that truely has to be addressed carefully with those that suffer from varying PTSD conditions. Therapy is crucial because these memories or events DO have to be expressed and as they are expressed a therapist can begin to HELP a patient "SLOWLY" learn how to find a resolve, validation and psychological reasoning that can SLOWLY rework the brain towards regaining the ability to process better.

The more that this condition is brought to light, the more support for those that suffer can be put in place, a person can actually learn how to recover and not continue to feel they need to withdrawl and suffer. The past four years alone have brought a lot of light to this condition, and many efforts are being made to not only recognize this condition but actually offer hope and TREATMENT for many who truely suffer from
a disorder that they themselves cannot seem to understand.

Open Eyes