[sandworm]

Dear PC peeps,

I am a person that perhaps offers my help to quickly, but I
also feel that I am constantly learning, like a salmon swimming up
stream I feel like I am against the flow no matter what I do.
I was wishing to throw out to the community a question. What
is it that has employed the FIFTH Discipline for you in your life and
really brought things together into health and recovery.
V Discipline is the idea of changing one thing, one key small
element and through that causing ripples that seem to transform in
powerful and wide reaching ways to improve the whole system/ being.

ie./Eg. taking up a morning work out, which causes the person to
get more motivated for work, promoted, more motivated by those
successes to improve social life, and his/her intimate relations with
family of parents and others. on on on and on, until one feels
like they could not remember a time they felt 'sick'.

What works for you to make your life change. I have been using
'new rules' that seem to make my world flow incredibly smoothly.

hugs to all and thanks in advance for your kind replies.

"S"
sandworm: Reference/ DUNE where the Voice has the power to
create one's world.

[madisgram]

being in alcoholism recovery has enabled me to use the serenity prayer in my life.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

having the desire to change myself and acquire coping skills to live by.

journaling

gratitude of what is, not what i think it should be.

for me it's that simple. good thread, sandworm.

[sandworm]

I remember a story, there was a mother and widow, thought to be very wise. She had a man visit her and ask... "Dear (wise ) woman, I am seized with anger at times and it grips me and will not release me. What can I do to be less angry?"

She replied "Say, I am grateful for everything, I have no regrets what-so-ever."
So, he went off to do as she said and practice this gratitude. Until one day,
he was on her door stoop again saying "Dear woman, I have don'e as you say,
yet still I have anger, what is wrong and what can I do?"
She replied "I am thankful for everything and Have no regrets what so ever.'

At that moment the man was seized and achieved enlightenment about the
whole matter going away, with praise and joy in his heart.....

"S"

Yes, with the simple practice of continuous gratitude I have found it has made a
real and rich difference in my life also.

[di meliora]

Oscar Wilde said "The truth is rarely pure and never simple." The lodestar for one often is not the lodestar for another. People learn in different ways and at different speeds. Perseverance and being willing to change -- to get outside our comfort zone -- are part of it. “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” Confucius

[Fresia]

What changed my life is simply:
1. always asking, "What will I do in this moment?" and "What if there is a tomorrow?"; and
2. the Serenity prayer.

[Elana05]

Hi Sandworm,
(What a cute name).
I'm not sure if these are little things but what has helped me tremendously are 1. Going to therapy at least 1x a week.
2. Taking medication.
3. Going to Al Anon meetings.

As for something small... The statement that I need to "keep the focus on myself" has been like gold. Even now as I struggle with the idea of what "god" or a "higher power" means to me (I feel that I have been leaning toward atheism lately) this statement has been one that I hold dear. It is my life and I take responsibility for myself alone. I cannot fix the lives of others. They must take care of their own lives, unless I am directly asked for help, it is none of my business. This has been a new and important concept for me.

Elana

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by sandworm

I remember a story, there was a mother and widow, thought to be very wise. She had a man visit her and ask... "Dear (wise ) woman, I am seized with anger at times and it grips me and will not release me. What can I do to be less angry?"

She replied "Say, I am grateful for everything, I have no regrets what-so-ever."
So, he went off to do as she said and practice this gratitude. Until one day,
he was on her door stoop again saying "Dear woman, I have don'e as you say,
yet still I have anger, what is wrong and what can I do?"
She replied "I am thankful for everything and Have no regrets what so ever.'

At that moment the man was seized and achieved enlightenment about the
whole matter going away, with praise and joy in his heart.....

"S"

Yes, with the simple practice of continuous gratitude I have found it has made a
real and rich difference in my life also.

I wanted to expand more on this story you told here sandworm - the moral 'being grateful' during turbulent/hard times. There's one religion that follows this principle, so even if things are very bad and they share their feelings....they'll end it with a "thank God" after. Often we hear some say, I've lost faith because these bad things are happening, so this principle helps with this.

It also branches into the concept of 'acceptance' and this has helped me during hard times. Acceptance doesn't mean giving up or to stop helping ourselves...it just means to stop ruminating and not feeling desperate for a solution. When someone's in the depths of despair, all they want is to get rid of the pain or circumstance....this often clouds logical thinking. If nothing changes, they end up feeling more despair and hopelessness. This principle allows a person to calm down and move on, to what solutions are possible. The Serenity prayer covers this well.

I happen to be living with an emotionally volatile person, who usually has the power to get to me. I have learned how not to let his emotions drag me down most of the time. Giving it a visual picture helps - I imagine these negative emotions served to me on a tray and I can either accept or reject it. Peoples emotions can be contagious - for example if a man has a fight with his wife - he storms out of the house and probably will cut off another driver....who then is pissed off and creates his own trail of misery. Then this same man goes to get coffee and is rude to the lady and she's then in a rotten mood, who then takes it out on her coworkers. It's a big ripple affect or I like to imagine spreading the negativity like peanut butter. The trick is how do we avoid letting people like this ruin our days.

As I've gotten older, I've learned many lessons I wish I would have known when I was younger. I try to look at the bad times/events in my life as 'lessons' and realize good can come out of bad experiences.

[Brokenwings73]

Check out mindfulness it's different than meditation and helps me a lot. So doe the serenity prayer and reading Acceptance in the Big Book pg 417 of 4 th edition pg 449 of 3rd edition I substitute food for alcohol bit the meaning is the same. I also like the promises and 11 th step prayer, they all give me strength when I'm down.