...and I am very unhappy.

I should be happy, shouldn't I. I'm fine, absolutely normal. Nothing is wrong with me.

They are wrong.

They are planning things behind my back, when he was typing away on his computer..going to get them all on me. Have me locked away, telling me I am fine.

I'm NOT OKAY.

I don't like the way I am feeling. I get anxious and scared when I can't do my compulsions, terrible thoughts, false memories, need for constant reassurance, multiple compulsions, hallucinations, delusions, dissociation, paranoia, disordered thinking, mood swings and more which I have since the age of seven.

I don't want anything wrong with me, obviously, but I refuse to believe I am fine. How am I fine? It's ok to self harm? It's ok to see rats and demons who talk to me? It's ok to feel like this reality does not exist? It's ok to think that if I stare at someone for long enough, I can telepathically communicate with them? It's ok to constantly get scared when you hear a siren, thinking they are after you? It's ok to think everyone hates you and wants to hurt you? It's ok to get this voice telling you to hit whn you become angry for no reason? It's ok to constantly ask for reasurrance for things no one else cares about? It's ok to think people can read my thoughts and are controlling me all the time? It's ok to feel like I am slipping fom this reality with no hold at all? It's ok to have disgusting thoughts which make you feel suicidal? It's ok to hear a mumble/whispering in your ear? It's ok to smell and taste things that no one else can?

Is it?

[pachyderm]

Who said it was OK?

I get anxious and scared when I can't do my compulsions, terrible thoughts, false memories, need for constant reassurance, multiple compulsions, hallucinations, delusions, dissociation, paranoia, disordered thinking, mood swings and more which I have since the age of seven.

That's the "function" of compulsions: to try to control anxiety. The need to control it can be powerful. Therapy is supposed to help you look into your anxieties so you don't have to spend so much time trying to control them.

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Who said it was OK?


That's the "function" of compulsions: to try to control anxiety. The need to control it can be powerful. Therapy is supposed to help you look into your anxieties so you don't have to spend so much time trying to control them.

I know, but the doctor said I was probably "normal". He said come back in three weeks and see how that time went (he's giving me a book about OCD). He said if I am getting worse/feeling bad then, then he will refer me to CAMHS.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by WelcomeToTheJungle

I know, but the doctor said I was probably "normal". He said come back in three weeks and see how that time went (he's giving me a book about OCD). He said if I am getting worse/feeling bad then, then he will refer me to CAMHS.

Then you can correct their misapprehensions!

[Mylifeisdepressing]

That would make me mad too. You don't sound ok, I really hope you can get the right diagnosis soon. Good luck with the doctors.

You're 15 if I remember right?

When you go back and see your GP tell him that you still feel the same way and then I am sure he will refer you, Some doctors don't listen if you don't get any satisfaction can you ask to see another doctor?

[KUREHA]

Tell him things are the same and you want referred to them, you might have to wait it out a few weeks - unless there is a different doctor you could see there.

I think CAMHS will definitely help you out - they will know what is wrong and probably give you a diagnosis.