[kgmsh]

Hello,
Since I was about 13, I've had a lot of anxiety about being around people. It got to be bad enough that I was suicidal in my early teens. I had been getting better, and felt like I'd be able to get through it recently, and then about two months ago, it came back even worse. I started having panic attacks and racing thoughts. My mind would race and all I wanted to think about is how I wanted to just get out of my head, but my brain just wouldn't listen. I've had trouble with it for a while, but lately it seems I can't put together coherent statements as well. When I write, its not as bad, but when I talk, I have to stop and rethink just what I'm trying to say. Also, I've been having more and more trouble with my short term memory. I'll walk from one room to another and forget what I'm going for or start talking and can't remember what I wanted to say. Also, I used to smoke cannabis, but haven't for about three to four months. Mainly what is the most annoying is the anxiety and racing thoughts. The anxiety is to the point where I don't have to be around people for it to start up anymore.. just the thought of being out makes me nervous. I've not really been out of the house for at least a month and don't really care to, I just want this to go away.
For the record, pretty much my whole family has depression and my father and another family member have schizophrenia. Thats the part that worries me, really. To me, it feels like I'm developing disorganized schizophrenia. Am I just being crazy (no pun intended)?

[Estee1]

Welcome! It's good that you are here. There are heaps of really nice people here who will be able to give you some good advice.
Are you seeing a dr or counsellor? You sound like you need to discuss this stuff with someone who can really help you. You are not alone here.
Keep posting. We're happy to have you here.

Estee

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome to PC. It seems you are experiencing a high level of distress over how you are feeling. I would suggest seeing a professional and getting their opinion on how to proceed to helping you feel better. Also, this is an excellent place to gain support so please keep posting.

[kgmsh]

Thanks for the kind words. I'm not discussing this stuff with a professional right now.. made an appointment to be seen, but won't be able to for another month or so. Kind of makes it worse.

[Greenleaves]

While you're waiting to be seen by a professional (I'm assuming a psychiatrist or psychologist?), you can go to a family doctor for some help.

They may be able to get you the appointment faster.

greenleaves...................pat

[SeptemberMorn]

From what you write, it sounds like symptoms I'm really well acquainted with; those of anxiety. Panic attacks are common with it. Best thing for you to do is keep your appointment with your professional. All I can speak for is the depression and anxiety. They come hand in hand and as long as you've had the anxiety, I would say it's a chemical imbalance in your brain.

HOWEVER, none of here are doctors so don't take this as any kind of diagnosis, ok?

With anxiety it is also common to fear getting illnesses that we know others have, especially family. There is also a high level of fear surrounding death.

In the meantime, do some breathing exercises (inhale, 2, 3, 4, HOLD, 2, 3, 4, exhale, 2, 3, 4 slowly!) when you feel yourself tense up or a panic attack starting. Relax as much as you can and tell yourself it will be over soon and you'll be okay. Fighting, it think, just makes it worse.

Glad you found us! Keep posting, ok? We'll all help you get through this.

[EJ711]

kgmsh,

It sounds like you are dealing with enough issues that you should consult a professional psychiatrist, especially with the family history and the worsening symptoms.

Wishing you all the best.

Jane (EJ)