I am losing patience with the human race. They embarrass me constantly. I used to live in utter fear of people and felt like I was constantly under scrutiny. Now I walk through the mall, or the grocery store, or talking to customers at work really any interaction. I feel like they are wandering through life, uneducated, and ill mannered. Lacking original thought, and they lie. People always lie to appear better off or to gain status of some sort. I don't understand it. I'm not saying all people are bad or ignorant, in fact I think there are some amazing people, but the majority concerns me. I'm the first to own up to who I am, and the things I've done... I have pulled some stuff in my life trust me. I just don't get it I don't know. I guess I'm just rambling. I also think everyone wakes up with motives, no matter big or small every conversation has motives good or bad. please don't get me wrong I do not feel above anyone at all. I spent most of my life feeling bellow ever one. I'm just truly concerned about this.
thanks for reading.

Maybe I'm just losing patience with myself.

[also_depr]

Originally Posted by fourwalls

Maybe I'm just losing patience with myself.

Maybe you feel under scrutiny, because you are always scrutinizing people.

[InnovateYoung21]

I get similar feelings at times in regards to how some humans behave, what keeps me going and sane is the fact that I feel there are still good ones scattered among the misguided...I also try not to let things I cannot control have too much of an impact on me

[sunblossom]

I can relate to what you are saying. Somedays I just have no hope for the human race. I want nothing to do with people. They just frustrate and aggravate me with their ignorance and selfishness.

I also think there are layers to the equation. More personal layers. At least for me I think I am mostly disappointed. I can't find a decent one among the bunch to be my hero. I think I want to be rescued and when I look at the pool of talent I am scared and hurt and worried there is no one out there who can be my friend and who I can trust. I spent so much of my life taking care of others, being there for people, being the rock that when I need care and support there is no one stepping up. Its personal. Its painful and its lonely.

Another layer to the disappointment is finding out that while I felt lowly in my life what I was holding up as better than me didn't really exist.

All of that aside, truth be told, it boils down to which lenses are my eyes seeing through today as I consider the quality of the human race. When I am depressed these negative assessments seem totally accurate because there is no one here for me when things are bad. People only come when they want something from me. That's how depression frames this reality for me.

When I am manic these assessments seem accurate because they empower me to get out there and save the world. Lead people into their full potention. To usher the world towards utopia or some such foolishness.

Inevitable the truth falls somewhere in the middle and I have to put on my big girl panties and acknowledge that there are no super heros and we, as members of the human race are all flawed and imperfect and we are all journeying through life as best we can. Some do it better than others.

By and large we are all messed up. Some just function messed up better than others. Depressed ---- feeling lonely and with no where to turn and nothing to aspire towards. Manic ---- feeling energized to save the world. Stable ---- feeling accepting and an equal partner with the rest of the human race. A partner in the giving and receiving of basic human interaction and interdependancy.

[InnovateYoung21]

Originally Posted by sunblossom

I can relate to what you are saying. Somedays I just have no hope for the human race. I want nothing to do with people. They just frustrate and aggravate me with their ignorance and selfishness.

I also think there are layers to the equation. More personal layers. At least for me I think I am mostly disappointed. I can't find a decent one among the bunch to be my hero. I think I want to be rescued and when I look at the pool of talent I am scared and hurt and worried there is no one out there who can be my friend and who I can trust. I spent so much of my life taking care of others, being there for people, being the rock that when I need care and support there is no one stepping up. Its personal. Its painful and its lonely.

Another layer to the disappointment is finding out that while I felt lowly in my life what I was holding up as better than me didn't really exist.

All of that aside, truth be told, it boils down to which lenses are my eyes seeing through today as I consider the quality of the human race. When I am depressed these negative assessments seem totally accurate because there is no one here for me when things are bad. People only come when they want something from me. That's how depression frames this reality for me.

When I am manic these assessments seem accurate because they empower me to get out there and save the world. Lead people into their full potention. To usher the world towards utopia or some such foolishness.

Inevitable the truth falls somewhere in the middle and I have to put on my big girl panties and acknowledge that there are no super heros and we, as members of the human race are all flawed and imperfect and we are all journeying through life as best we can. Some do it better than others.

By and large we are all messed up. Some just function messed up better than others. Depressed ---- feeling lonely and with no where to turn and nothing to aspire towards. Manic ---- feeling energized to save the world. Stable ---- feeling accepting and an equal partner with the rest of the human race. A partner in the giving and receiving of basic human interaction and interdependancy.

Couldn't have said it better myself

also_dpr... please read carefully. I said,"I used to live in utter fear of people and felt like I was constantly under scrutiny." used to. I think Sunblossom nailed it, dead on. I can totally relate to everything there. I don't feel I'm scrutinizing people I think it's just blatantly obvious.

[sundaymorning]

Try to remember that these people probably all have insecurities which makes them scared of showing themselves.

Try to look at them with a completely open mind and know that all uf us have a wide variety of feelings and ideas. Maybe they'll open up a bit towards you and you'll see that despite the impression the media sometimes gives us, the majority of people are actually kind and interesting.

And remember than achieving patience is one of the biggest and most valuable achievement we can gain.

And more concretely, always take a deep breath when irritated.

[sunblossom]

Originally Posted by sundaymorning

And more concretely, always take a deep breath when irritated.

Ain't that the truth!

[irishpackerfan]

i could agree with almost everything sunblossom said well put! Remember too when you really show your true feelings to ppl you are displayed as weak (which I dont understand) and society encourages people to be shallow and superficial. Some people see hell as being a massive burning smoldering pot. I see it as living with the people from jersey shore for the rest of my life