[Catherine]

does anyone have any hints on how to deal with a fear of people?

[JustBen]

Maybe ease into it? Start with something small, like saying hello to the mail carrier or a clerk at a store. It's hard to be more specific without some idea of how serious the problem is. (Do you leave the house? Do you talk to people?)

[Catherine]

thanks for the reply, its just a very new thing, i guess i've always been shy, but at the moment my sense of self worth is pretty low, so its probly tied to that somehow. yes i do leave the college, (thats where i live) but only to go somewhere i must like the store or social security, it the whole put on a happy face thing, or somewhere i know no-one is going to be looking at me or will feel compelled to talk to me

why do you fear people, Caroline? have you dealt with your feelings in therapy? i experience those feelings at times. i usually try to leave the situation or i clam up. i'm not much help, am i? xoxox pat

[Catherine]

i havent had any therapy, well none for this or any that help anythin else. i have left the situation by withdrawing into my room and staying there. its only happened in the last three days and i'm still a little confused about it

perhaps it is something that you shouldn't worry yourself about just yet...we all have times when we feel the need to withdraw......give yourself some time and maybe it will be shortlived

[January]

Hi Catherine,

If this continues, please go to the University's counseling service. It may just pass but if it doesn't please don't let it go on and on without getting some help.

Hugs,

Jan

[Catherine]

ahh I see, a 'just get over it' situation, what was i worrying about, silly me. if only everything was that simple! thanks for your replies everyone.

no catherine.....i was not saying "just get over it"......we all have times when we prefer solitude.....of course if it persists, i would want you to get help.....i am the last person who would ever tell anyone with a mental illness to"justget over it"

[Lexicon78]

I've lived all my life in fear of people. What I do is pretty much keep to myself and when I am faced with people trying to talk to me or interact with me in some way I just smile and say hi. It seems extremely hard most of the time...not an easy task.

I'd try to visualize yourself first interacting with people...then if the anxiety gets too bad, you can return to the present time and try to calm yourself down....then try starting all over again. In time when you are ready to face some people for real you can start out small and work your way up using the same technique you did for the visualization.

Good luck!

[Greenleaves]

I used to have very bad social anxiety. It's gotten much better now, so be hopeful!

I haven't had any therapy for the social anxiety so I'm assuming it's my meds that helped me.

[EJ711]

Hi Catherine -

My mother spent too much time about what other people thought of us. So as a young person I wasn't particularly comfortable around people. However, I married someone in the service, who could talk to anyone. I basically learned to do the same thing.

If you want tips, we can talk off-line.

Hugs,

Jane

[pegasus]

Catherine,
I think this is a problem that needs to be nipped in the bud.

Please try to seek some help from someone.

In my opinion, FEAR usually has a cause. It may be that a person in the past has hurt you, bullying for example. This can then lead to fearing people in general.

Most people are kind and caring actually.

I hope that you will be able to find a professional to talk to about this.

Thinking of you

[desirae]

That's a toughie. I to understand the fear of people. I think personally my fear originated from when I was a young child.

Actually lately, since I started college I've had to get over my fear, so I can finally be around people. I was so tired of avoiding people and being alone all the time.

I think what helps me is the "just do it" factor. I don't even think about it. It's like I've not neccesarily taken charge of my fear......it's like I suppressed it to just get through that moment.

Jeez, I hope that makes sense.

Desirae

[kimmydawn]

Catherine, it's hard to see that we're changing and doing things that possibly might not be healthy for us. It's harder to know that it feels to difficult or impossible, to change it for the moment.

I know when triggered, or not feeling safe, I will stay home more. I call it a "scheduled meltdown". I do this to allow for some healing of whatever's going on with feelings of safety. However, I know it's not good to do for long either. I also know that it's something I'm intentionally doing. When I used to get panic attacks when I went out, the feelings were so intense, and it was a whole other ballgame for me. So, I can imagine how this feels for you right now. Does it feel like you're panicking when you go out?

How long has this been going on? If it's just started, I would try to push only as much as it felt safe to. If this has been going on for a while, and feelings seem more intense, I would consider trying to see someone. If there's a repetitive thought that you're having when going out, you might be able to calm the fears if you know the source.

I wish you more than well with this. It's difficult.

Be safe,

KD

[Catherine]

Thanks everyone for your replies. they have given me a lot to think about and to explore.
(((((hugs all))))
Cat