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#1
Feb 23, 2006, 03:27 PM
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This past weekend was a hard one for me. I got very scared about something and to prevent myself from being able to vent my feelings I demanded that KD ban me. Because of the situation .. this is the only way I could think of at the time to prevent from making the situation worse. I am sorry for no explaining this sooner. I am just working my way back here doing things that I know I have control over and not doing what I dont have control over. I should have tried to explain some of this before I said goodbye Friday night. But Iwasnt sure if I was going to ask KD to make it permanent or not. I love you guys I didnt want to leave ... but I was scared for myself and other reasons. I hope everyone will accept my apology here. Sometimes we need to stand up for what we need to take care of ourselves. I just wish I could have done it another way instead of like this.
KD ~ I am sorry I hope that you can understand why I needed to do this. Thank you for helping me. Love you guys~ Bethy 
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#2
Feb 23, 2006, 03:32 PM
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i hope that youre okay. we all make mistakes and sometimes the most important thing of all is to look after yourself. i hope that you wont leave. i think you have a lot of people here who care about you and would really miss you. hang in there.
sending you hugs and healing. 
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#3
Feb 23, 2006, 03:32 PM
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Apology accepted................................. NEVER gave it a second thought - I know we all need understanding at different times in our very difficult life's.
Hang in there....................... ((((((( HUGS ))))))) LoVe, Rhapsody - |
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#4
Feb 23, 2006, 04:40 PM
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Greenfairy~
I am ok now.. doing rather good really. I wasnt in the best of shape Sunday night. And I told myself if I didnt feel better on Monday I would go to the hospital( anyone that knows me knows that that is the LAST THING I would ever admit to wanting to do!) I had some really good friends to lean on and help me thru this. To help me make sense of what was going on. And in the midst of that I figured another thing out. Monday came and I felt better for having talked about it. And the thing I figured out was that the whole thing that happend made me feel overwhelmed to the point of possible having a nervous breakdown. That lead to me being able to dicifer between feeling overwhelmed and having suicidal ideations. And the difference is that I know that when I am overwhelmed I can control that.. and what I can do about it! I have been so excited and happy about this! The big thing now is knowing when I need to implement it..realizing what is what again when I am feeling it.But its a great thing to have made this discovery for myself. Right now with things being good and knowing what I have control of .. I have no intentions of leaving. But I can never promise that it wont happen.. I will do what I have to to take care of myself and protect myself. But I would never do it cause I want to leave you guys. I FEEL THE LOVE HERE! hehehehe And I'd miss ya'll so much! Thanks for the hugz~and healing too ! Ditto to you too! Hugz~ Bethy
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#5
Feb 23, 2006, 04:42 PM
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Thankya Rhapsody~
Your cool!!!!!! Sorry my reply is so short here I talked too much in my last reply I think! hheheeee   You hang in there too hon. We love ya here!!!  Hugz~ Bethy
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#6
Feb 23, 2006, 06:51 PM
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{{{{{Bethy}}}}}}
Just soooo glad you're ok, hon!!!
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#7
Feb 23, 2006, 06:52 PM
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Why would we be mad at you you didn't something smart and safe...that was nice of KD too
Tis cool  extra thick bologna in your left pockey
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#8
Feb 23, 2006, 07:17 PM
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Yup I YAM I YAM!!!!!!! Thanks for the hug too (((((((((AZALYSA)))))))))
Your too sweet! Hugz~ Bethy
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#9
Feb 23, 2006, 07:21 PM
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Well I guess you wouldnt be mad.. but disappointed in me maybe cause I've been so wishy washy about stuff like this before. I dont mean to do it.. its just my feelings at the time ya know? Probably alot to do with the bipoalar crap too lol. Yeah KD was good about it .. I am very thankful for that too.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Sleeps I think I am needing the light or FF bologna here lately with being a bit more sedentary than usual because of my back heehehehee. Sorry! Thanks for being so thoughtful though!  Hugz~ Bethy
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#10
Feb 23, 2006, 08:40 PM
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glad to see you back beth.....
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#11
Feb 23, 2006, 08:57 PM
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Thank You SOOO much Julia!!!
So nice to hear from you! Hugz~ Bethy
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#12
Feb 23, 2006, 10:18 PM
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I know how that goes. I don't know how many times I've been upset here with the site or the people here...it's been awhile, though. But anyways, it's all good.
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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#13
Feb 23, 2006, 11:13 PM
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(((((((((((((((beth)))))))))))))))))
a true friend sings to us the song of our heart when we've forgotten the words... i just tried to sing a little... be safe, kd
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#14
Feb 24, 2006, 12:06 AM
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Beth, you've had a moment of epiphany!!! Use it well, for they rare! Congratulations. What an amazing insight. I know you feel free now.
Hugs, Jan
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I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#15
Feb 24, 2006, 12:08 AM
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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