Stuck in a cycle of unfulfillment... Please help

I'm constantly stuck in this cycle and I don't know how to get out. I'm tired, I'm broken down, and I just don't know how to change my situation. I feel its probably all psychological, but I just don't know how to shift it. I have read about may self help techniques but none seem to be able to touch this major issue. Please help with any guidance, thoughts, or experiences you might be able to offer. It would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance for your help and kindness.

Depression... it runs in my family, but I mostly feel it on one occasion...

When I don't have direction, or a clear path in my life. Its a reoccurring thing.... I'll be fine pushing forward pursuing the next thing, until I no longer have a next thing. Its like I must always have something in the pipeline to strive for that is in the direction of my purpose. Or at least seems like I'm on the track to my purpose. I have always felt that my life has a purpose of some sort. I talk to people about their purpose and I hear may different ideas on purpose. I envy the people with fairly simple life purposes that are living it every day. Why can't I just have a purpose that is; caring for animals... or loving and providing for the people in my life? No I feel I must do something bigger, not for personal ego, (because I don't give myself credit even when I do something), but I have a feeling inside that I just haven't found my bigger purpose yet. Yes I realize that I have positively affected quite a few lives in many different ways, but its just not enough for me...

I feel like I must contribute in a big way to something bigger than me. Whether that be humanity, animals, or the environment. So I have done various volunteers jobs. Sometimes for animals, helping a rescue or protection group, then sometimes humanitarian things like teaching disadvantaged children. I have tried many sides of the scope and I feel good getting there, but once I begin the work although I love it, it still doesn't fulfill me, I just start looking for the next thing. So I constantly feel unfulfilled, and then when I have no major direction or goal I feel like “Whats the point” I don't want to stay on this planet just working to live and feed myself.

Why can't I just be happy having a beautiful relationship, caring for those around me, and living life the best I can? I yearn to be able to do this, but something psychologically is stopping me. I just don't feel fulfilled in any way. I can have the best relationship, or what looks like on the outside an amazing life full of travel, and adventure but nothing makes me fulfilled. This is causing me to leave the beautiful relationships, and making it impossible to have love and close friendships. Please if you know of anything that might help shift this please post it.. any and all ideas will be considered. I have to get out of this cycle or it will eventually kill me.

First off Welcome to PC!! There's a lot of support & info here. Cruz the forums & post when you feel comfortable.

You have spoken of depression when no project is happening or getting involved but never feeling fulfilled.

Depression manifest itself in many ways & for many reasons. We aren't professionals but in your post you don't mention seeing a therapist or have tried any medications. Seeking this kind of help might benefit your ability to sort this out.

I do admire you for all the wonderful things you've done to help others. It is something to be proud of. Hopefully you can learn to appreciate & be content within yourself.

Best wishes, so glad you are here.

Cycles are hard to break, but you are one step closer by just coming here! Everyone wants to make an impact on humanity and we all do. Sometimes we just don't realize how many people we reach each day. How we treat other people effects how they will treat people as well. So if you do a good deed or just are plain polite, you are having an effect on people because they will pass it on! Your life does have a purpose. Don't give up and keep pushing forward.

Wehope you willlcome to PC, I'm glad you are here! I don't know that I have any answers for you, but I would encourage you to look into the possibility of your having depression and trying to get some treatment. That may mean therapy, meds, or maybe both.

I can connect with your desire to do something good. I am a teacher at a school with pretty disadvantaged kids, and I volunteer with teens also. I'm glad you are doing these great things, but am sad for you that it does not fulfill you. I am happy to talk more if you want to PM me sometime.

I hope you are able to find some answers on here and come to some peace. Take care and be kind to yourself, you deserve it!

dailyhealing