[KathyM]

My husband is of Mexican heritage, and we've been together a very long time. It has been very disheartening to see the increase of hatred for our Latino population in this country, especially over the last decade. It has caused me to be continually on guard for an attack.

It's bad enough having to constantly live in fear, but the profiling is literally pushing me over the edge.

My husband uses a work truck, provided by his company. His boss has gotten a lot of complaints by clients because they see my husband's brown skin and assume he's a "terrorist" or "illegal alien." He was born and raised in the U.S, never even been to Mexico, but many of the clients insist "white only." For this reason, my husband does not qualify for a decent wage OR benefits of any type. He continues to hold a "probationary" status. He is also required to pay for his own gas, even though they send him all over the state. Yes, he is looking for other work - but no one will offer him a decent wage or benefits.

The other day he got a ticket for not displaying his current license tags. He had them with him....he just didn't get around to putting them on the plates. Instead of allowing my husband to put them on then and there, the cop gave him a ticket AND took away his drivers license. Taking away a person's license for such an offense is NOT the norm around here - it's just an example of how people of color can be treated differently. The added humiliation of having to produce a ticket instead of drivers license as a valid ID helps to perpetuate the "criminal/unruly" stereotype.

This morning he was told he needed to be somewhere far away. While stuck in traffic, his boss called saying the client was screaming for him to get there immediately. My husband decided to take a side road to avoid some of the traffic......and got stopped AGAIN!!!

This time they got him for driving a few miles over the speed limit. DUIH!!! He's desperately trying to keep his job!!! He's desperately trying to keep his boss and clients happy! He's desperately trying to keep a roof over our head and food on our table!!!

Do they show him any mercy? HELL NO!!! They threw him in JAIL!! He's borderline diabetic, suffers from severe arthritis and high blood pressure, and I'm completely disabled/homebound.

Did they show ME any mercy? Well sort of.....if I managed to scrape together $200, they would let him go - even drove him to the house to pick it up.

Needless to say, his boss and that client are FURIOUS. So am I because I don't have any extra money....not even savings. That money was our grocery money for the month. In order to make up for the cost, I'll have to go back to eating a single bowl of oatmeal to cover my breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I'm really tired of people trailing behind my husband and son, watching and waiting for them to make a mistake - or become vulnerable enough for an attack.

I'm sure that cop is proud of himself for humiliating my husband, taking away our grocery money, and causing me to become enraged.

[Switch]

I know this is going to sound a bit out of touch with reality, but is there the possibility of moving states? I don't know where you are or anything, but I can't imagine it's like that everywhere. I'm also guessing out of country isn't going to work either, lol... But my first instinct would be to get the hell out of dodge, because that is unfair and stupid, but you can't chance that many people.

I don't really have any advice as I've not been in a situation like that. I do hope you guys find a way to get out of there through, because that is horrible. (((Kathy))) I hope you can find some more grocery $$, as a bowl of oatmeal a day is not healthy.

Good luck >>>>>>> KathyM

Hope the extra good luck reaches you in time. Stay strong.

[shezbut]

(((KathyM)))

That is so shocking to me emotionally! Very sad and disgusting!! That cop ought to be ashamed of himself.

Sadly, I have my intellectual side that isn't real surprised though. ~ I was born in Chicago. All of my family is from there, but I grew up in California. My family is racial. I've always hated it, and they defend their behavior by referring to dangerous riots that occurred in the South side in the 60's and 70's. California isn't segregated like Chicago. There aren't Polish, German, Irish, Jewish, etc. neighborhoods there. There are low-income neighborhoods ~ some with African-Americans, others with Mexican-Americans, and a few with Asian-Americans. White people are peppered in as well.

I wonder if you were to move to a different part of Illinois, if your husband would still have the troubles? Or if you need to get out of the midwest completely? You shouldn't have to move away in order to be treated fairly. It's not right at all! Sadly, certain parts of the US is still socially living in the dark ages.

I hope that you can get some assistance to help with groceries. Thank goodness that you had the money it took to get your hub back though!!

Big hugs to you and your family!

[hahalebou]

I honestly can't believe that would happen, and I'm so sorry for that cop's stupidity. (((KathyM))) I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[summeryoga]

It makes me sick. I do agree with Switch; a lot of places are not like that, and it sounds like a particularly backwards area there.

I'm just really sorry you and your husband have to be subjected to that kind of hateful ignorance. Sigh.

[notablackbarbie]

((((KathyM and family)))

Unfortunately the extent of racist actions i see/hear/learn about doesnt shock me anymore...too jaded and numb to react in any way anymore. What sucks is how racism impacts children = THAT i can agree isnt fair How does your son deal with these experiences? What support does he get as he's still growing up? I ask because i didnt become this cynical overnight = REALLY its not fair for children to grow up exposed to this and limited by this in any way...Beyond that, i am sorry this happened to you all

[snowgoose]

Dear Kathy, I can't begin to imagine how you are coping right now. You are one strong and courageous woman. You have been through way too much unfairness and inhumanity towards your family again and again. It has to be enraging. Who wouldn’t be enraged in your shoes? My heart is with you and your family.

There is no doubt a non-ethnic person would have been allowed to put the plate on his truck and drive away. I hope your husband’s boss and customer gave him some slack and he still has his job.

I think racial tensions are on the upswing. It has always existed and it has been worse in some places that others. Those of Latino ancestry are collateral damage to controversial immigration policies and those of Arab ancestry are collateral damage to 911 and subsequent events. Others who 'resemble' Latino or Arab are also caught up in the damage.

Native Americans are seeing an increase too. A friend of mine was held at the US Mexican border for hours with no explanation. It turned out the US customs officers didn't believe he was Canadian. They discounted his status card. They were determined to profile him Mexican and suspect him of coming in illegally.

Fear dominates a lot of our thoughts and actions today. Fear-based profiling is now common place. It is becoming justifiable as the tensions grow. The instability, the uncertainty, the stress and worry of our times is feeding into existing racial tensions and creating it where it may not have been a concern before.

I wonder if non-Mexicans are labeled illegal aliens if they come into the US illegally? It seems to me other nationalities are referred to as 'illegal immigrants'.

I pray things get better for you soon Kathy.

[purple_fins]

I know of some places where that would not happen, like Denver, all of New Mexico, Arizona and California.
I have a hispanic brother in-law and he has a high up job and started at the bottom. (i have many many other hispanics in my family too-- all are doing very well)
There are so many companies in the states I named that have government officials that are hispanic and thousands own their own companies...
in fact...
my son was rarely called to work because he is white(the owner liked my son and is white-- but-- the foreman that calls the workers is hispanic)-- they only want hispanics to work there(that's what the workers told my son)..... my son had to go find a different job.

I knew this women, as her son was in school with mine and her older daughter was graduating and she was given 8 forms to fill out for financial aide-- she started to read them and then she said-- "but I'm not hispanic, I'm greek"... so the counselor took all but 2 of the forms away... needless to say...
she didn't get financial aide for college.

My sister with her hispanic husband-- they both make A LOT of money.... they filled out the forms for financial aide for hispanics and they got half of their two kids' college paid for-- they make more than twice what me and my husband make and our white kids got -- zip for college.

so-- I think, if you can, you should move to the west-- it's a different world.

best to you
fins

I wonder how many real crimes were being committed while the cops were busy with your husband. Almost everyone is prejudiced to some degree but when it's practiced by authority figures it just becomes much worse. Being in Chicago I'm thinking there may be some ethnic angle to this. Anyway my main thoughts are for you. I'm not nearly as unwealthy as Mrs Romney but I'd like to help. I can't ask for your address obviously but maybe the site could set something up?
I won't BS you that things are going to change. If the racial makeup of your community or this country were different, I think the only thing that would change would be the race doing the profiling. Sad but true.
Take care and let me know if there's anything I can do.

[KathyM]

Thank you ((((everyone))))

Moving is simply not an option for us. This is my family home. I grew up in this house. I never liked the house, but it was my father's dying wish that I live here with my family. After much thought, I purchased my half of the house from my sister and we now own the home. It was my dream to fix up the house, add a room or two, and make it our own. At the time I was healthy and working a full-time job. We weren't well off, but we certainly weren't poor.

Following my diagnosis (amyloidosis) I continued to work for as long as I possibly could. I was raised with a strong work ethic - but I was forced to swallow my pride and apply for permanent disability.

Given my terminal/homebound status, it's not possible for us to "start over" anywhere in a new community inside or outside of this country - gated or otherwise. People like me would not be welcomed with open arms because I am not in a position to socialize. Even if I were, I would still be an outcast/outsider because people tend to run away from those who are dying. They certainly don't choose to hang out with terminally ill and disfigured people - especially those who are married to what might be a possible "suspect, terrorist, illegal alien, or all around "bad element." My husband also has Native American heritage (Mayan/Pima), so people sometimes jokingly refer to him as "Chief" - NOT funny, not in the least! My husband is NOT a mascot....and neither am I!!

If anything, we would be considered fodder for charity - but that would never happen because I do not belong to a church or any other "charitable" organization. Been there, done that - it's the same wherever we go.

How I wish people could have truly learned how to respect each other and treat each other as human beings in my lifetime.

I appreciate the offer, but I am not asking for charity/money. I'd like to have my dignity back, but I know that's not going to happen. What I want MOST is for people to stop picking at and trying to destroy my husband's dignity and life. They don't realize his dignity has already been destroyed. When he dies....I die.

When we die, all I can say is Lord have mercy on the poor soul who thinks he/she can mess with our son. As it is now, they only see him as a "gangster." Little do they know our son is a decorated Iraq war vet (Auxillary Special Forces), currently in college, and a member of the honor society with a perfect GPA. Still, to strangers on the street he's usually seen as just another "gangsta n****r," etc. He gets profiled and stopped just as much as my husband.

Once again.....thank you SO MUCH for your support here. It means the world to me.

[Perna]

Yes, from what I've been reading; it's gotten much worse everywhere since Arizona unleashed its new laws.

[KathyM]

Did anyone hear about the NCAA Pep Band from MS basketball team taunting a PA player at the basket by chanting "WHERE'S YOUR GREEN CARD?" Did anyone get a look at that kid's face as they tried to distract him from making a basket?

What's the excuse? Harmless fun, entertainment? Team Spirit!?! Uh huh....I beg to DIFFER.

My son played on the tennis team and participated in the State championships throughout high school. One of his teammates (Pete) was extremely racist and couldn't keep his mouth shut. When they would play in long tournaments, a few of them would sit in my son's truck, waiting for their match.

One day while observing their "colored" competition, Pete flew into a tirade of rants against black people. My son and his friend sat there, shaking their heads at Pete. When Pete had finally exhausted himself, my son's friend said to him "Dude, Dan's black - you didn't know?" Pete looked at my son in amazement and said. "No kidding? I thought you were a 'spik" (because of our Mexican last name). Where I come from, that term "s p i k" refers to people from Puerto Rico. Poor Pete. He's only one of SCORED of jerks my son has had to put up with in life.

Can you imagine if my son played college basketball? Can you imagine how it would look if they started screaming at my son "WHERE'S YOUR GREEN CARD?"

After what my son has been through over the last 28 years of his life, what look would YOU expect on his face...."team spirit?"

Okay, if that MS PEP BAND really wants to have some fun - I DARE them to visit my home, and I challenge them to PEP ME UP!!!

Grrrrrrrrrr.......such ignorance.

[Open Eyes]

(((((Kathy))))),
I am so sorry that you and your family are being victimized and bullied this way. I can't blame you for all your anger about this. It is hard to see how much ignorance is still so prominent in this world as well. Yes, people truely can be very cruel and prejudice in so many ways. It can really be a challenge to rise above it, especially when it effects your ability to provide the necessities of food, and shelter etc.

Yes, there is still so much ignorance and stupidity and selfishness in the world today.

I think that you did a wonderful job raising your son too. And I agree, he truely doesn't deserve to get this disrespect.

Open Eyes