Hate My Body?

Hello,

For the last few months I have been having issues with my body image - I look so ugly. In December I SI over my appearance badly because I felt like I deserved to be punished.

What I dislike the most are my teeth and skin. Unlike the rest of the industrialized world (or so it seems), I have never been fortunate enough to have had braces to correct my crooked teeth. Everyday that I look in the mirror all I see is crooked, damaged teeth, and I am ashamed of smiling. As for my skin, I have a genetic skin condition that is terribly painful and that has left me scarred all over my body. So, actually, what I see when I look in the mirror is a crooked, damaged, scarred, and infected me. It doesn’t inspire confidence…

And NEITHER of these can be corrected or solved for now. I’ve been working with dermatologists for eight years about my skin without any luck, all the blood tests, antibiotics, medications, and everything. Nothing. And until the cost of braces is less than my car, I don’t have the income for them. Doesn’t matter what payments are available. I…cannot…afford…them. Besides, I have to put myself through school, too.

My best friend whom lives in the United States is so beautiful! Honestly I feel like hiding under a rock I am so ashamed of what I look like. Why couldn’t I be her?

How do I deal with being ugly? Fine. I might be intelligent, kind, or whatever else, but that doesn't make it easier to see myself.

Well beauty is in the eyes of beholders. You will find someone who can see your beauty. But still if you want to look beautiful start working out and admire yourself and give yourself a compliment daily. And most important love yourself. You will see a huge change in your appearance very soon.

Being ashamed to smile is horrible; I'm so sorry. I have no useful advice, but wanted to respond. How terrible to live that way. It may be worth finding some kind of affordable dental care eventually. But you can always escape in your head; there is a lot to be said about loving yourself. And finding a healthy outlet to get outside of yourself, too - mine is meditation. I'm nowhere near loving myself, but things are better.
Skin and teeth might be the first things you see in the mirror, but hopefully you can find other parts of your body you do love. Good luck, I hope you're okay.

a question for you..was that you in the picture holding one of the spiders? if so i didn't see someone ugly.

i see your passion in these animals. i see someone who has found their calling..their love.

my teeth are crap. haven't been able to afford the dentist in decades. i am short & heavy. certainly not model material.

but i have found my passion & it works for me...seems like you have found yours as well...for that you should be proud. so many people have no joy, or passion..thewir lives are empty. i felt that in your posts about your pets.

sometimes people who have beauty on the outside are empty shells.

mr v...people should envy you...you found what you love , what brings you happiness, went after it & filled your life with it. who cares what you look like...it is what the inside is that matters...not the outside shell.

Obviously in our world the way we look means more than it should. I think a lot of that is our culture...tv, movies, magazines etc.
It's a cliche but what's inside is much more important. I think that if you find and develop your inner "beauty" then your looks will matter very little. And you are the one saying that your ugly...who's to say everyone else agrees

I agree with George on this one.
I have known the most attractive women and men (physically) whose self esteem is so low they can't see there outer image. Why..because they are not happy with themselves.
Inner beauty is the most beautiful thing in the world. Love, kindness, compassion...a good heart is really what matters.
Societies standards are so ridiculouse anyway. At the end of the day looks mean nothing!! Everyone get old, looks fade, but whats inside is what matters and what can make or break you.

Let your true self out and true attraction will follow.
This is how love come into your life.

I used to be so pissed at my parents for not getting me braces. I had a wide gap between my 2 front teeth, my top canines were above and in front of all the rest of my teeth, and they have all always been far from pure white...as a shy, young, new girl at school it was humiliating for me...
Now, I'm a 27 year old woman with messed up teeth in California...I'm like an exotic animal! Hehe, but what's really funny is...the social trend of celebrating weirdness and embracing misfits (see Glee, LadyGaga, LMFAO, Skrillex, Jonah Hill...the list goes on!)
Is opening up a place for folks like u and me...and I really think we are moving toward a more balanced appreciation of the strength, focus, creativity, and cultural importance of the inner beauties like u and me : )
Ps. U read any of Thomas Eisners books on chemical defenses in arthropods, like, "For Love of Insects"? (he covers non-insect arthropods as well) SO RAD
Pps. Messed up teeth are totally attractive to a lot of people: in Japan girls r getting dental surgeries to have " snaggle tooth" implants!!!

(((Mr.Venomous)))

I know exactly what you're saying. My teeth have not helped my self-esteem, that's for sure!

Unfortunately, when it comes right down to it, other people's opinions really don't count. Honest people have told me that I'm beautiful when I smile naturally (it happens very infrequently!) ~ and I immediately close my mouth and avoid eye contact. Wouldn't it be great if we could let our walls down around a select few people and just be natural?!

The issue of your skin condition, I can relate a bit to that as well. I've developed chronic urticaria and angioedema twice, had tests galore and doctors gave up on finding the cause or fix! Instead, I just had to avoid things that seemed to make my hives and swelling worse. It took a long time for me to figure out what some of my triggers are. But, things have improved with me avoiding the cold, delayed pressure, dyes and fragrances. My hives have stayed away for a little while now *knock on wood*. I DO understand how alienating that feels ~ I've had those damn hives huge and all over, from head to toes for almost one year. It just sucks!

I'm not sure if that's what you're suffering from. If so, there is a terrific website that I can refer you to : http://www.chronichives.com. Many of the members are extremely knowledgeable about the variety of cause & effects of the diagnosis. A few members post research articles to read. Most members post their diagnosis(es), medications, side effects, how their CU and/or angioedema is right now, has their condition ever been controlled, how long since their last outbreak, and I think that's it.

Yes that was me, although I don’t naturally have blonde hair. It’s one of my favourite photos of me with my large Goliath Bird Eater.

My best friend has said something similar about the empty shells comment. What if someone has both beauty and a passion?

And does anyone really believe the inner beauty comment? Seems like wherever I look there are those making judgements about physical appearance. In fact I have read several comments online when what was said was that they wouldn’t date someone with less than perfect teeth.

Still I find it hard to look in the mirror at myself and not feel frustrated with my appearance and feel bad for it.

It's the inside that matters, judge yourself on the content of your character not the proportionality on your face.

Hi Mr.V, don't believe we've met - nice to meet you.

I have no words of wisdom or advice, but if its any consolation - i despise my body. I utterly loathe it. I too am limited in what i can actually do about it. As a result the mental illnesses i were already suffering from became worse and ive developed an eating disorder to top it all off. I really hope you find some sort of solace. Sending hugs (if ok)

There are some disorders like Body Dysmorphic Disorder where the person fixates on a perceived flaw and this its worse than what others think. I saw the same picture as stumpy said and I think you look fine and your teeth aren't bad. I have nice teeth but still had to go through braces as an adult.

I blame most of societies low self esteem on the beauty and entertainment industry. Its even worse for women who are bombarded with advertising from a young age with photo shopped pics of models ....who don't even look like that IRL. Its amazing what editing on the computer can do to pictures. There's so much pressure to be perfect -- look at the boom of botox and lip injections. So many people look so unnatural with all the cosmetic surgery. Accent your positive assets and don't compare yourself to others.