Self-Diagnosing of Others

My husband keeps getting self-help books to "find out what is wrong with me." He has decided that I have borderline personality disorder even though psychiatrists do not agree with this diagnosis and tell me that I am within a "normal" range in society. This is making me feel awful. What should I do? Is there any hope to get him out of his self analysis of me?

I see this as a control thing -- by diagnosing you, it gives him more "control" of you. This is the way *I* see it anyway -- I could be wrong of course.

I think he's the one that needs a therapist. Not you. I doubt he'd go, but you might suggest it. You could suggest couples counseling and maybe THEN he'd go. It's worth a try.

Best of luck! Let us know what happens. God bless. Hugs, Lee

Have you tried pinning a diagnosis on him? I would definitly try that just so he can feel what it's like to be in your shoes. Who knows, maybe he won't like it and stop...

Sounds like he is just trying to make you feel bad. Why doesn't he believe what the Dr.s say? I hope he does not treat you badly because of this. I am here if you just need to talk PM me anytime. It does help to post I know at least it does help me.

I appreciate the replies and the comments. Posting and reading the replies does help as it makes me feel less like this ! I begin to have such doubts when he proceeds this way.

we cant tell you what to do, only you and your treatment providers know what it best for you and what to do about this situation..

for me when I find people who are not my treatment providers attempting to diagnose / treat my problem I put my foot down right away by stating "Im glad you want to take an interest in my health and want to know more about my health. I deal with my health issues how ever my treatment providers tell me too. If you would like to be included in this process I can set up an appointment with my treatment providers so that you can discuss your concerns about my health with them, and they can share with you how and why they are treating me the way they are for my health issues. Now please leave my health issues up to me and my treatment providers as it should be.

then if it comes up again I state...we have already discussed this either keep your researching and self diagnosing to yourself or meet with my treatment providers I will be glad to set up the appointment. by the way did you know that there is a mental disorder for people who think their spouses have health issues...its called Paranoid Schizophrenia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Munchhausen's. It may even fit other mental disorders like Narcissism, having a God complex, theres lots of things this need of yours you have for diagnosing my problems can be...maybe you might want to research your own need to tell others what their mental disorders symptom before someone decides you need inpatient help.

that usually cuts them and the problem to the quick, when they are trying to diagnose and treat me without being my treatment providers. lol

My ex always used to call me a mental derelict. He always had plenty to say about what was wrong with me, but never could see his part in causing my depression. Hard having a resident critic at home. Maybe I'm biased but this sounds similar to me. By the way he did call my therapist to discuss what was wrong with me, which was not well received by the therapist. He said "You do realize he is very critcal of you? You realize that don't you?" As a matter of fact it had some how escaped me. After the therapist pointed it out I started to really notice and resist being made to feel bad about myself, which I think was the beginning of the end for us. Better that the marriage should fail, than one of the partners be destroyed.

Only you would know, he is your husband. But he could very well just be trying to help.
Good luck x

"I can't be myself and I don't want to talk. Now I'm taking the cure so I can be quiet whenever I want."