[Xambgii]

I don't post here very often at all. But I need to get this out.

I am being pulled every which way.
With ropes attached to every one of my limbs. They pull on me, every which way. They stretch my body. They make my body hurt. They make my brain tired. They make my mind nervous. They make myself go nuts.

One rope wants me to go North. Where it's cold and dark. And I can't see anything there. The blackness paralyzes me and makes me lethargic. Sometime's the handler of this rope gets his way. He has more strength and stamina and he can go on for days. ...Sometimes months. He makes me empty, cause he drains everything out of me.

The rope that pulls me South is the exact opposite. But equally as strong. I have a lot of energy. But that doesn't mean I like it when South pulls at me. South makes me destructive. South makes me angry one minute and then just peachy the next. South makes me do everything at once, but drop them because South annoys me. South makes me frustrated. South makes me hear things and believe things that aren't there. South is a liar. I hate south. South makes me burn alive.

North and South both make manipulate me... They both make me have dark thoughts. They make me suicidal....

West is nice. West makes me happy. Thanks to West, I have all the talents and dreams that I have now. Thanks to West, I can have energy that is enjoyable. But thanks to West, I have people who don't get me. Aren't as motivated as me, and think I'm too far fetched ahead of me. But it's okay... West tries. It'd be nice if West was stronger.

East doesn't pull a lot. It has once. I was a normal person with a normal mindset. East was nice. I miss East.

[Open Eyes]

Sorry you feel that way, you need to face the direction that is the weakest but the most pleasant and walk towards that direction. Even if North and South have a strong pull, just keep walking West where you feel the pleasure, no matter what.

Open Eyes

Hi, xambgii. You have a lot of symbolism here. I don't know if the ropes symbolize family or friends or school or work or depression or whatever. You seem to think that you have no control over your life and instead are controlled by the ropes. Have you tried symbolically cutting these ropes so that you are free? What do you dream about doing with your life? What does your name - Xambgii mean?

[missbelle]

Have you tried symbolically cutting these ropes so that you are free?
very good from unhappy guy........He has the right answer. I was going to tell you not to move that way the ropes wouldn't pull.....but I like his idea so much more. Remember you are in control......just you........! Cut or adjust those ropes.....nothing should be pulling you any way...unless of course you want it.......Think CONTROL!! I AM IN CONTROL OF MY OWN LIFE!

[Xambgii]

The ropes symbolize my own emotions and mindset that is taking over me.
The name Xambgii, doesn't mean anything.
With my life, unhappyguy, ever since I was little, the only thing I ever wanted to do in the world was to be some kind of artist and travel everywhere in the world. To have a good life, with no restraints.

I've tried pulling myself towards the more pleasant directions, but it never works. I breakdown and the two dominant ropes take control again.

I don't know how I would about cutting the ropes.

Originally Posted by Xambgii

The ropes symbolize my own emotions and mindset that is taking over me.
The name Xambgii, doesn't mean anything.
With my life, unhappyguy, ever since I was little, the only thing I ever wanted to do in the world was to be some kind of artist and travel everywhere in the world. To have a good life, with no restraints.

I've tried pulling myself towards the more pleasant directions, but it never works. I breakdown and the two dominant ropes take control again.

I don't know how I would about cutting the ropes.

So, if the ropes symbolize your emotions you are then fighting yourself? think about it.

You seem to want things that go against each other. A lot of great art comes from suffering. But, you want pleasant things. Good art usually does not come from pleasant things. It comes from hardship. There are many who suffer for their art. So, if you want to be an artist then prepare to endure hardship.

Maybe you don't need to cut the ropes. Rather, you can learn the game of slipping out of them when they hook you. See your life as a game. You are a Houdini - escaping from the ropes through your art. Time to start creating the artwork you dream of . . . just don't expect it to be easy. There may be good times, for sure. Hopefully, it won't be all hardship. But expect to make sacrifices. Those sacrifices will be valuable learning experiences that will give relevance and meaning to your art. Start creating!