[lynn P.]

I live on a corner lot in a middle upper suburb (houses are side by side). About 2 months ago - I saw a man using our hose and washing his hands. My thoughts were - "maybe he's working at a house, got dirty hands and needed to wash them"....that's fine. Another time he came by when my H was outside and again wanted to wash his hands - my H didn't know he was here before. Last night around dinner hour, my youngest (10 yrs) was playing sidewalk chalk and I got the feeling to look out the side window and I see the same guy walking down my driveway. I thought it was one of my H's helpers, because we're doing landscaping and I don't know half the time what he's doing. At the same time my daughter came in and she said its the same man - he walked up and she went right away in the garage - he said "I'm gonna wash my hands again".

My H comes home and I discussed it with him and he confirmed the man did this twice when he was home - 4 times total. The 1st time I thought he's just a worker who needed to wash his hands, but he's not a worker - he lives around here.....so I can't think of a reasonable explanation to use our water and not his own. My daughter said he walked down, used our water and went back the same way. My daughter plays outside often and I told her to come in immediately if she sees him.

[unaluna]

is it by your garage? i'm thinkin' he's looking to steal something, this seems pretty nervy to me. It's your property. Next thing you know he's going to be watering his lawn when you're gone. I say nip it in the bud. My mother had neighbors doing construction who wanted to use her water and electricity - they ended up stealing electricity for a long time, she bought a new washing machine because she thought hers was broken; it just wasn't getting enough power because of their hookup! I figured it out when popcorn wouldn't pop in the microwave. Turned out it was a city-wide problem.

[Sabrina]

That's scary. I don't know what to advise other than calling the police and just running what is happening by them and asking there advice.

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by hankster

is it by your garage? i'm thinkin' he's looking to steal something, this seems pretty nervy to me. It's your property. Next thing you know he's going to be watering his lawn when you're gone. I say nip it in the bud. My mother had neighbors doing construction who wanted to use her water and electricity - they ended up stealing electricity for a long time, she bought a new washing machine because she thought hers was broken; it just wasn't getting enough power because of their hookup! I figured it out when popcorn wouldn't pop in the microwave. Turned out it was a city-wide problem.

Thanks Hanskter - yes the side of the house has a garage, but the 1st time I noticed him alone outside - the garage was closed. Hopefully he'll try again when my husband is outside and he's going to ask him why he can't wash his hands at his own house. We'll also look where he lives. Sorry this happened to your mom. I don't think he's going to resort to stealing electricity but thanks for the suggestions. Now that I know he's from the neighborhood it more strange because he has his own house to use water and his hands aren't dirty. I'm fine with a worker in the neighborhood using out water for a legitimate reason but this is odd.

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by Sabrina

That's scary. I don't know what to advise other than calling the police and just running what is happening by them and asking there advice.

Thanks Sabrina - hopefully he'll try this again when my husbands outside - he's going to talk to him and hopefully notice where he lives. Then if he keeps doing this, we'll be able to tell the police where he lives. I felt upset that he had the nerve to come up my driveway when my daughter was there. I've heard of kids being taken right off their property and that's in the back of my mind.

[MickG]

Your husband should tell him unfortunately due to the nature of the society we now live in he is going to have to wash his hands on his own property. I don't blame you for fearing for your children. Take care.

[lynn P.]

Thanks MickG and I agree that would be good to say. In our neighborhood, we leave the garage door open when our kids are playing outside. The outdoor faucet is on the wall next to the garage. The door leading to the inside of the house, is in the garage - a person could walk 5 steps into the house. Now I no longer feel comfortable leaving that door open anymore. For now my youngest will play at the front. She's 10 and I don't feel the need to supervise her playing now that she's older, but now I can't feel as carefree. I've already prepared both my girls how to react if they were ever grabbed by someone over the years - not to be compliant. I hope he'll come when my H's outside so he can ask him, why does he feel the need to wash his hands at our house - so odd.

[KathyM]

((Lynn)) Mmmhmm - that's what I would do. I'd confront him face to face and ask him why he is unable to wash his hands at his own home. I'd take a good mental snapshot of his face and tell him I'd appreciate it very much if he looked for water elsewhere and stayed off my property -because I wouldn't want to have him arrested.

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by KathyM

((Lynn)) Mmmhmm - that's what I would do. I'd confront him face to face and ask him why he is unable to wash his hands at his own home. I'd take a good mental snapshot of his face and tell him I'd appreciate it very much if he looked for water elsewhere and stayed off my property -because I wouldn't want to have him arrested.

Thanks KathyM - if I see him that's exactly what I plan on doing. I really want to know why he's using our water. Its not like this is a poor neighborhood - there's 400,000 + houses around here and no shortage of water lol.

Your husband was home and saw this twice without confronting the situation? Or at least going out and asking what's up buddy? This situation sounds pretty damned weird to me. i would have been out there getting a definite answer at visit 1.Too much goes on to let stuff like this sleep. I don't know your house set-up with regards to proximity to road etc but really that doesn't make a diff. either. Ones property in these days we live in is sacred. Everyone knows this. Get it figured out Lynn. Nobody rightly does this and it seems not quite right.

By the way does he dress somewhat affluently? You live in an upscale neighborhood. In your opinion does he match how you would expect your neighbors to casually look? Hey it could be nothing but a neighbor who doesn't quite realize his manners or it could be just weird. in this world we have to assume that if a situation appears weird it may well be. If he's a neighbor than I'm sure he'd understand the concerns over his doing this when confronted by the police. Don't hesitate because of some potential embarrassment issue. If he has a 1/2 clue he'll understand right?

You don't need your peace of mind or your kids safety etc to be compromised like this. It's ********e for this guy to be doing that even in innocence.

[Taonuviel]

Err on the side of caution, but I can imagine this scenario as another possibility: painfully shy man wants to get to know the neighbors and comes up with hand-washing as an excuse to come over and try to strike up conversation.

[lynn P.]

Thanks quizzickle and Taonuviel. Not so sure he's shy because the 1st time I was the only one home and I saw him through the window...but thanks for thinking of all the possibilities. quizzickle - thanks for your concern and I agree. Let me explain more - I didn't tell my husband because I thought this was a random worker from some house over. When it happened with my husband he didn't know he did this before and thought it was just a man who was walking and needed to wash his hands - we're easy going. When it happened yesterday, I finally discussed it with my H and he said he came twice with him - 4 times we know of and then the light bulb went on. He's always walking, dressed casually and the sidewalk is 30 ft from the road.

Now we're all finally clued in, this isn't a random thing and hopefully we can't catch him doing this again. I'll straight out ask him, why he feels the need to use our water when he has his own nice house within walking distance. I haven't seen his face because I wasn't worried at the time. I think he's 45+. We hear strange things happening all the time in society so I'm not taking any chances.

You're not sure yet that he lives in the neighborhood tho right? People don't do this stuff Lynn. You've never ever met. Can you perhaps ask your other neighbors about him? Just plain out say what you've said here. This guy is repeatedly coming to our house etc etc...washing hands etc. Who is he Etc. If there's no satisfactory answer from them I'd contact the police. Our neighborhoods are not so diff. in Canada and the US. That amounts to repeated trespass. Most people are willing to give the benefit of the doubt once maybe. But repeated stuff like that with no introductions or explanations doesn't fly here and I'm sure it doesn't there. Life is too weird not to be cautious.

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by quizzickle

You're not sure yet that he lives in the neighborhood tho right? People don't do this stuff Lynn. You've never ever met. Can you perhaps ask your other neighbors about him? Just plain out say what you've said here. This guy is repeatedly coming to our house etc etc...washing hands etc. Who is he Etc. If there's no satisfactory answer from them I'd contact the police. Our neighborhoods are not so diff. in Canada and the US. That amounts to repeated trespass. Most people are willing to give the benefit of the doubt once maybe. But repeated stuff like that with no introductions or explanations doesn't fly here and I'm sure it doesn't there. Life is too weird not to be cautious.

Yes that's right - not sure if he in fact lives here. That's why I thought the 1st time he was a worker at some house - thinking dirty hands need washing lol. When I take my dog for a walk, sometimes my neighbors are doing yard work...so I'll ask them. Yeah I gave him the benefit the1st time - felt sorry for him. My H is out a lot on the weekend and I suspect he'll walk by again. I'm hoping to see where he goes, get the address and if he doesn't stay away after me or H tells him...then we'll call the police. They can do more if we can confirm he lives around here.

It really is so odd - when my H was doing yard work. The guy doesn't introduce himself. Starts giving suggestions on how the stone would look better etc and then says "gonna use your water to wash my hands". I would never think of doing this without asking permission 1st.

This is very suspicious and quite un-nerving and I live in California. I get upset when people go through my garbage. it's so rude and such an invasion of privacy.

Seriously, this man's behavior is NOT normal and better to be safe than sorry. I mean it.

Get your kids out of the yard, take a photo of him with your cell phone or camera next time he decides to pop by, and go down to the police station and file a report.

Don't wait for the next/next time. It sounds like he is casing your home / stalking your family. If he's not, then so what. If he is, thank goodness you took care of it before something really awful happened.

((((Rose))))

[IceCreamKid]

Get your daughter a whistle and tell her to blow it and to run if any man comes up to her when she's in her own yard playing. Call the police and report this man's bizarre behavior. The police may be aware of other complaints you are not. They need to know about strange behavior in neighborhoods. Predators will often 'test the waters' first before they strike. They look to see who is around, what doors and windows are open and/or easy to force; pathways to a get-away; and how people react to them invading their personal space. Just because he didn't 'do anything' in broad daylight doesn't mean he won't come back in the dead of night. By the way, I wouldn't care if it were a neighbor's workman; let them wash their hands at the neighbor's -- this guy is up to no good.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

Get your daughter a whistle. Call the police and report this man's bizarre behavior. The police may be aware of other complaints you are not... ...They look to see how people react to them invading their personal space.

So many good points, kid. Just the police coming by may be a deterrent.

[ECHOES]

You need to tell him directly and clearly that your water and hose are no longer available to him to use and he will have to find another place to wash up.

[gma45]

Strange Lynn, too strange! I think I would follow some of the good suggestions you have received. I live on a fairly busy street people walk by all the time, no one has ever just walked in my yard and used my water NO WAY! Without asking? I could see maybe once but four times! This is just to weird, think I would be letting the police know. Out walking I might ask for a drink of water if I felt like passing out or something, I usually carry water when I go though. Please be safe!

Originally Posted by ECHOES

You need to tell him directly and clearly that your water and hose are no longer available to him to use and he will have to find another place to wash up.

If the behavior was in a public place, I might say something (working on my assertiveness ); however, to confront someone in/at your own home would be a little scary to me (especially if the person was questionable to begin with).

I would let the police handle it.

[lynn P.]

Thank you for the new response Rose Panachee, IceCreamKid, ECHOES and gma45. I called the police and made a report over the phone, so at least there's a record of this. There isn't much they can do since we don't know where he lives or his name.

I know you're looking out for me Rose Panachee and true that's good advice but I'm comfortable with speaking to him if I see him again. ECHOES is likely a 'tough cookie' like me lol. Once 2 men broke into my house 15 yrs ago and we had a verbal confrontation. Lucky for me they left, so I can be assertive when I need to be. Since my husband loves gardening on the weekend I have a feeling he'll walk by this weekend. We're ready to calmly ask why he feels the need to use our hose and why can't he use his own. It's really so odd and puzzling.

I've been feeling a little nervous letting my 10 yr old out, so for now she'll play in the front and both my girls are very aware of how to react / respond to unwanted bad attention. My oldest is a black belt and we joke about how sorry we'll feel, if anyone tried to hurt her - we joke and say a kidnapper would pay us to take her back LOL. I really just want to know why he's doing this and for him to know he can't come on our property anymore. If one of us does speak to the man, we're going to pay attention where he lives. If he doesn't stop after the warning then the police can visit his home. Thank you everyone for all the good suggestion and caring.

[seeker1950]

I just read this entire thread. This is scary. I would be reluctant to confront this man face to face, even confronting him in the company of your husband may be dangerous. The man is not right. He may be released from a mental halfway facility and now homeless, camping out somewhere near the affluent homes in hopes of finding shelter. Or he may be a drug addict casing your neighborhood, your house among others. You just don't know.
I do know, from having been the victim of stalking, that people who are bold enough to walk right into your garage, several times, lack the social etiquette to be offended by a polite request to go away. This is a matter for the police.

[lynn P.]

Thanks Seeker1950 - if my husband sees him on the weekend, he going to calmly inquire if he lives in the neighborhood and why he needs to use our hose. This is one time having a manipulative husband works in our favor lol - not many people can outsmart him. I know reading this thread is probably creepy and I appreciate your beliefs in being safer rather than sorry. This is the only way we'll know if he lives around here. Its becoming a great mystery - why does he love to use our water. My husband says he looks around 50+ so maybe he has dementia idk.

[KathyM]

Hi Seeker

I've been the victim of theft too, and that is my suspicion about this man also - (canvassing the area). That is why I would confront him directly. It could catch him off guard, and his response would be very telling. If the response makes no sense, it would tell you he might be up to something. Speaking with him and getting a good look at his features would tell HIM you'd be able to identify him in a police line-up and will most likely blame him if anything goes missing from the garage, home, or any harm come to the children. If he IS a thief or pedophile, he might think twice about going any further and look for "water" elsewhere.

Originally Posted by KathyM

Hi Seeker

I've been the victim of theft too, and that is my suspicion about this man also - (canvassing the area). That is why I would confront him directly. It could catch him off guard, and his response would be very telling. If the response makes no sense, it would tell you he might be up to something. Speaking with him and getting a good look at his features would tell HIM you'd be able to identify him in a police line-up and will most likely blame him if anything goes missing from the garage, home, or any harm come to the children. If he IS a thief or pedophile, he might think twice about going any further and look for "water" elsewhere.

I tend to error on the side of caution, as well, so confronting a "suspicous" person is not in my wheelhouse. At all. I trust my instincts and I am not a trained first responder.

I having nothing to prove, and I'm not afraid to ask for help from people that are trained in these types of things. I wouldn't put my spouse or myself or my children in harms way just to figure out what is going on. Especially if I find the person "suspicious, a stalker or just if I get a bad feeling".

In addition, I do believe that the police prefer to handle these matters (for which they are trained), and not encourage civilians to try to manage it themselves...these types of things can get really ugly, really quick. And it ends up being a bigger mess in the end.

I am not saying it's better to hide at home, cower and live in fear, either.

Confrontation, as suggeted here, is usually met with defensive behavior. I wouldn't risk it.