[Onward2wards]

During times of change and high demand, the more a person uses automated patterns of thinking and behavior in order to cope. Since this includes a repetition of past negative behaviors and thinking based on prior traumas, and paying greater attention to the "loudest" of emotions (such as fear, for example), thinking errors, biases and ineffective behavioral habits are likely to become a problem for anyone.

My question is, how do you really overcome this? How do you prepare for high cognitive demand situations such that new, preferred patterns of thinking and behaving become the new normal? I still have difficulty with this, even after all that I have read and been taught - which honestly has been a lot.

[Open Eyes]

(((Onward2wards))),

I have been trying to work on this myself. And I have to see where my cognitive distortions are sometimes. And I hear you, it can be hard to stop past negetive behaviors. I struggle with PTSD and if I am around certain people that are disfunctional in some way, I can fall back into an old pattern of behavior. I have to catch myself as much as I can. I have to say that PC has helped me tremendously with that. When I get triggered now I really think about why and not just that I am triggered. It has amazed me how I had auto responses to things and I didn't really realize it. I notice this with my husband and family, but now I am getting MUCH better at stopping, observing and thinking. I see a lot more than I used to. It took a while to be able to do this.

Onward, like anything else, it really takes practice and it IS work. I have noticed that I am improving but it isn't easy, my family has NOT changed their disfunctional behavior patterns. But I find it helps me when I just allow myself to "observe" them and also pay attention to see if I have picked up their behavior patterns without realizing it.

Be patient with yourself and keep working at it. The brain can be slow to get to that point where it becomes automatic.

Open Eyes

[InTheShadows]

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

During times of change and high demand, the more a person uses automated patterns of thinking and behavior in order to cope. Since this includes a repetition of past negative behaviors and thinking based on prior traumas, and paying greater attention to the "loudest" of emotions (such as fear, for example), thinking errors, biases and ineffective behavioral habits are likely to become a problem for anyone.

My question is, how do you really overcome this? How do you prepare for high cognitive demand situations such that new, preferred patterns of thinking and behaving become the new normal? I still have difficulty with this, even after all that I have read and been taught - which honestly has been a lot.

Well, it doesn't happen overnight. It's an exhausting, continuous effort to change the negative thoughts. One day you will recognize a small change. From there it only gets better! You are doing good. It may not always feel like it, but when it doesn't, just ask other people around you.

ItS

[di meliora]

A tough question indeed. My first thought is that "normal" should be forever banished from mental health discussions. There never has been a consensus on what is "normal." As unique people, we have limited ability to conform to a statistical assemblage of behaviors a particular culture deems "normal."

I recognize you are speaking about changing your own behavior to jettison aspects that are detrimental in favor of implementing standards that better integrate what you deem to be of more benefit to you.

The first step seems to be to identify what behaviors must go or be altered in favor of those behaviors you wish focus on and develop.

Good luck.

[fishsandwich]

Briefly, I've been using mindfulness meditation techniques to overcome the kinds of things you describe. I don't really think of it as resetting my brain to some kind of societally accepted "normal", just re-setting my brain's default assumptions to things that are more neutral or helpful.

This book is a good introduction:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-.../dp/074995308X
I think they should hand it out like the pills at mental health care centres. It's fabulous and extremely well-researched; and it's totally worth the price because it comes with a CD of guided meditations also.

[Gently1]

The 'new normal' is used in cancer patient/surviorship.
finding new ways to adjust to the changes that cancer and treatments can have on a persons life, physical, emotional, perspective, family...work.

[Chrissy4605]

I agree with much that has been said before me. I have been mentally ill since I was 23. Now I am 50. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD just to name 2. It has taken me 10 years to become stable enough to become a facilitator for a NAMI group. I have gone through DBT and other therapies to help me become who I am today. As the first reply says it takes a great deal of practice and it isn't all that easy. So try to find someone who can help you get into DBT training or a good group.

Chrissy Michelle

[Perna]

The more you use a behavior, the more "old"/standard it becomes; it becomes a habit. So, you drill yourself on new behavior, including new thinking patterns so when things are initially frightening, they don't stay that way because you have a better way of looking at them to discharge the fear. Too, you work on known scary situations (like talking on the phone, for example) and work on making them not scary, so they cannot be part of a stressful situation at all anymore, cannot trigger or add to it.