Discussing Private Issues Involving Other Members

Please don't discuss private disagreements/misunderstandings regarding other members in the public forums...either directly or in a vague manner. When it's vague, several members can internalize and feel it's about them...causing distress. If it's direct, then the member it's about feels the public upset. In either case, it can be considered as flaming and non-supportive.

If you have an issue with another member that you can't resolve through a PM, then please contact a Mod/Admin. Private issues really do not belong on the public boards.

Please know that any further posts of this nature may be removed at the discretion of the administrative team.

Also, please know that this post is not directed to any specific member(s), nor is it about any specific issue(s).

Thanks,

KD

I want to bring this forward again and add a bit to it.

Please discontinue bringing private disagreements into threads. It changes the content of a person's thread and accomplishes little. Please don't start a thread that is a jab at a member you're having a disagreement with...either vaguely or directly. It can be considered as flaming.

In a community of this size, there are going to be disagreements. There will even be those we flat out don't like for whatever reason. Please keep it off the public forums. It takes away from the support an enjoyment of everyone else around.

If you're having a disagreement with another (or simply don't like them), and it can't be handled in PM, use your ignore button or try to move past it without continual comment publicly.

Keep it supportive. Even a disagreement can be handled in a way that isn't flaming or hurtful, and should be. Sometimes we simply have to agree to disagree and let it go when we feel that we're getting to emotionally involved. Please think before hitting that "submit" button when you feel high emotion about a post or thread then refrain from bringing it out in other post/threads elsewhere.

Please consider all of the other members who are viewing and want to be involved, or are involved.

Just a reminder.

KD

When someone makes a post that upsets or offends me, I try to let it stand a day without a replying. Usually I've regained my composure by then and just ignore it.

January

I like this thread, we as mental health dxed ppl have to remember we are here looking for support, to recieve support we must give it and not just too a few favorites but to everyone, we have to remember that the public has dumped on us and we can't do the same to our peers here
Reah

Thank you KD for posting that.... What I think is we are here for support and friendships. Or at least that is why I am here.
Lilith

I like this board the people are willing to help. I have gotten a lot of info from the people here. I look forward to coming here. I dont have to post sometimes I find the answer that was given for someone esle but it does relate to some of things going on with me.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

BUMP

cool thread. (bump into the night)

Let me just reaffirm what KD noted above.

I'm all for people resolving their differences, but if it's between two people, both parties must be in agreement to want to resolve their differences. You can't make one person do anything they don't want to or are not ready to do. And you can't make someone else "like you." This isn't high school. This is life, and in life, we don't get along with everyone (and it would be highly unrealistic to expect we should).

One of our community guidelines forbids harassment of one member by another member. That means if someone has placed you on ignore (for whatever reasons they want -- that's what it's there for), any attempt by a member to circumvent this will be sent a warning, and if they continue, then a suspension.

I'm sorry that we have to do these things, but folks need to learn to either get along with one another, or simply avoid those they don't like or don't want to associate with. And those being avoided need to learn that they can't please everyone or be everyone's friend (and it's very unrealistic to expect they can).

This is not directed at any particular member or situation. This is just a reminder and reaffirmation of what KD said above.

Thanks!

**** bumping this up, to help remind our members ****

Please, lets all do our best to abide by this, and support one another.
Thanks,
DE

I certainly hope to never ever hurt another member of this board even inadvertently. I also hope it isn't done to me but as has been said this is life and I guess we can't all get alone, but I don't think I have had a problem so far.... everyone has been genuinely kind and caring towards me I hope I have been the same.

Bump!!!

Just wanted to say that this is the 1st forum like this I have joined and wanted to let all you guys know . I am glad I can be open w/ my feelings and honest about situations that are going on in my life.
TY PC PEOPLE!

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kimmydawn said:
Please don't discuss private disagreements/misunderstandings regarding other members in the public forums...either directly or in a vague manner. When it's vague, several members can internalize and feel it's about them...causing distress. If it's direct, then the member it's about feels the public upset. In either case, it can be considered as flaming and non-supportive.

If you have an issue with another member that you can't resolve through a PM, then please contact a Mod/Admin. Private issues really do not belong on the public boards.

Please know that any further posts of this nature may be removed at the discretion of the administrative team.

Also, please know that this post is not directed to any specific member(s), nor is it about any specific issue(s).

Thanks,

KD

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Just bringing this back to the top.

May I also add Please don't assume a topic you and another member are discussing in PM, is being discussed in PM with others. Personal issues discussed in PMs are supposed to be PRIVATE... don't assume "everyone" in the loop has the same information.

Plus....
IMHO _ We should never (at any time) give other people any reason to feel personally attacked or rejected here within the forums.... remember: SUPPORT at all times.... and if someone cannot support the topic at hand then maybe it would be best to leave it alone - to move on.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - (((( hugs ))))

I think everybody just needs to remember respect and to cool the jets when they get caught. It's important we all get along or this entire site isn't what it's meant for, it'll be like the others if we allow that to happen.

*bump*

i agree ...when the issues are private....but this particular issue has affected so many members......up until the last post...everyone involvef.....and there are many...were only trying to promote peace and show these 2 valuable members how much they are cared for......

but i don't think it should be brought up like it was on the boards. members have been trying to get things done, through PMs, and it didn't have to be posted out in public using the terms that were used.

i believe that it would have benefitted PC greatly if it had been resolved long ago behind the scenes and safety re-established here. i am very upset that it was put on the boards like it was.

i'm sure that my post will get deleted, but this is how i feel and i feel that i have the right to speak about it. i've been concerned about this for months.

i'm stepping away from PC until i feel comfortable again. i'll be back.

pat...you know that i respect you and your opinions.......but i truly believe that everyone was just trying to make peace.......

There's a saying that goes like this: "When you point one finger at someone, remember there are three more pointing at you."

When I have an issue with someone else on boards I turn it around and ask myself, "what if the other person is right and your perception is wrong?" and then try to get my head (and heart) around that :-)

I'm not sure what happened. Either I wasn't on board here yet or I totally missed something that was going on. I agree that we should be respectful of each other, but sometimes someone asks for our opinion of a situation & I feel I have the right to answer honestly. But I try never to put the person down, just say that I don't think it is a good situation to be in or that maybe that person is not making good decisions. I hope I haven't offended anyone or that I am part of this "problem" being discussed.--Suzy