Crazy dream involving T...need help analyzing this one!!

I had this crazy crazy dream about my T last night. My husband and father were also in the dream. I really need to analyze this one and I'm pretty sure I could never share this with him.

In the dream, I was trying to get an appt. with my T and I finally did. I didn't tell anyone I was going to see him. When I arrived, he was sitting on a couch with a bunch of people both men and women.

He saw me and we started talking and he was talking to me like a normal guy would. I don't remember the words. Then we sit on the couch to continue to talk and then this hot/heavy kissing session starts. Not much else happened there than what I wrote above but...

Then a younger woman enters with brown hair like mine but she is skinnier. I'm not overweight really but she is much thinner and seems to know him similarly to how we had just interacted.

As I am leaving I tell my T, now normal man, if anyone inquiries about he and I we are to deny, deny, deny...I tell him that I'll take care of him and protect him always. So then I leave.

I'm back at a house I don't recognized and both my husband, dad, and my dad's wife all confront me and say they know what I'm up to. They know what my T is up to...they had run a background check on my T, and he has criminal history (drug related) and they inform me I can no longer see him and are reporting him.

Of course, they accuse me of having an affair with him and I lie and say I would never do that...<evil grin> when they continue to berate me they threaten to take my son away and tell me they will win. My husband and my dad are on the same side working together!

I start punching and kicking both of them and then I'm running off to find my T and the dream ends...

What a neat dream, thanks for sharing it! I'd totally tell my T if it were mine; I once had a dream that I had my head in my T's (woman) lap and she was stroking my head and told her about it :-) It's just a dream!

I like the part about the skinnier girl like you but not, I'd look at that if it were my dream, see what associations I could come up with (like less baggage "later" down the line because you'll be better). For me, I discovered when I dreamed about my T and/or my husband, they were in the dream to make it "safe" for me to look at whatever issues it was raising; whatever dreams they were in, everything was going to be "okay." You might think back on other dreams with various people in them like that, see if you see a pattern?

But lots of neat pieces to think about; I'd see if I couldn't figure out how to tell your T about parts if not the make-out session yet :-)

Almeda,

Loved this dream. Erotic transference?

Not your father, not your husband but "T," the person who can give you what the other men in your life can't: (the kicking of your dad and your husband....)

The "thinner you" could be you without the baggage that your sessions allow you to shed.

I don't know if I could share it either, but probably would be good to. Maybe you can edit it a little?

Peace.

My therapist would say: "What do you think it means?"

But it seems like the transference. Like many people who have close connections with their therapist, you get these feelings of closeness and intimacy like nothing else...because you tell the therapist everything and you get to feeling like they are "lovers", in a way.

Depending on your therapist, they may have no difficulty with you bringing it up, discussing your sexual transference feelings.

I've had them very strong, with my therapist. Of course, my sexual abuse at a young age has made me, I think, sexualize most relationships. I wanted to try to normalize my sexual feelings for my therapist. It took forever, but I was able to discuss them, at least first through writing and having her read it and then verbally. But I still have a fair amount of difficulty discussing my sexual feelings for my therapist openly.

With all that said...I don't recall having any sexual dreams about my therapist (though i'm not sure). I do dream all the time and they are usually very vivid and most of the time I remember my dreams.

Perna...when I've been very troubled, freaking out, my therapist has let me lay my head in her lap for real and she strokes my hair.

Hey Almeda,

Went on to www.guidetopsychology.com (which has been mentioned before in other threads), to read about erotic transference. I cam across the following quote, in their section on dream interpretation:

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Images of sexuality are rarely, if ever, expressions of “love.” To the body, sexuality is simply an aspect of the biological process of reproduction and therefore has nothing to do with what we commonly call love. Therefore, in the unconscious—the origin of all dreams—sexual images and feelings have nothing to do with real love; instead they signify a narcissistic need to be seen or to be noticed as a way to compensate for a deep fear of being abandoned or ignored.

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So, maybe there is something in your unconscious that you really need to tell T, something that has really been bugging you?

Almeda, I'm trying to work out an interpretation here, but I need to know... about this young woman, hair like you, a bit thinner... you said she knows him similarly to how you and him had just acted....

In the dream, how did you know this?

Did she kiss him too? What did she do?

Perhaps I am barking up the wrong tree and maybe even the wrong planet but it made me think of abandonment. I sometimes fear that I will lose the intimacy of the therepuetic relationship. It also seems to me that you got an appointment and then you couldn't share what you wanted to due to the other people--other clients, nosy insurance company, whomever. Then, you got the intimacy that you needed. Soon the next client arrived (thinner woman) and you left. You returned home to see dad and husband. They felt slighted because you share things with T that you don't share with them. (My sister sometimes feels slighted a bit that I share things with T and not her) Then you might have felt guilty about all the things that you shared with T instead of with dad and your husband. Of course this is only one persons theory. As be apprised that I completely lack a sex drive and so I don't think of sex scenes as being about sex. It seems to me to remind me of intimacy in the relationship. If my T was of the opposite sex. I would probably fantasize about having sex with T but my T is my gender.

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pinksoil said:
Almeda, I'm trying to work out an interpretation here, but I need to know... about this young woman, hair like you, a bit thinner... you said she knows him similarly to how you and him had just acted....

In the dream, how did you know this?

Did she kiss him too? What did she do?

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I didn't see her kiss him, it was just me *knowing* somehow. The friendly interaction. This is good stuff. I'm just reading responses now since I've been studying all night...

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Perna said:

I like the part about the skinnier girl like you but not, I'd look at that if it were my dream, see what associations I could come up with (like less baggage "later" down the line because you'll be better)

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I hadn't thought she was me, interesting...my T and I do not talk about dreams. I have had a few this is the first time it was like this though...

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sister said:
Almeda,

Loved this dream. Erotic transference?

Not your father, not your husband but "T," the person who can give you what the other men in your life can't: (the kicking of your dad and your husband..

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<blushing> yes, I guess it is erotic transference. This is the only thing I have never actual verbalized to my T. I dance around it but I can't say the words...it is way too embarassing. Maybe I'll have to somehow...

I like your analysis about my dad and husband, that is true. Neither has been truly supportive of my therapy either. Although recently, my husband has changed on this.

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sister said:
Hey Almeda,

Went on to www.guidetopsychology.com (which has been mentioned before in other threads), to read about erotic transference. I cam across the following quote, in their section on dream interpretation:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Images of sexuality are rarely, if ever, expressions of “love.” To the body, sexuality is simply an aspect of the biological process of reproduction and therefore has nothing to do with what we commonly call love. Therefore, in the unconscious—the origin of all dreams—sexual images and feelings have nothing to do with real love; instead they signify a narcissistic need to be seen or to be noticed as a way to compensate for a deep fear of being abandoned or ignored.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

So, maybe there is something in your unconscious that you really need to tell T, something that has really been bugging you?

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Wow this is good, I must've missed it on the website. I've been there before. Maybe the something I need to tell him is about this erotic transference...great. I'll be seeing him until next year...giggle.

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Hopefull said:
I sometimes fear that I will lose the intimacy of the therepuetic relationship. It also seems to me that you got an appointment and then you couldn't share what you wanted to due to the other people--other clients, nosy insurance company, whomever. Then, you got the intimacy that you needed. Soon the next client arrived (thinner woman) and you left. You returned home to see dad and husband. They felt slighted because you share things with T that you don't share with them.

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I don't think you are off track, actually this makes sense too. You are right on what has been happening...Friday is looming...I need more than 45 minutes!!! I either talk about resigning from my job or this...what is more important?

I never seem to focus these sessions correctly...

thanks everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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a few excerpts from the dream
I didn't tell anyone I was going to see him.

I tell my T if anyone inquiries about he and I we are to deny, deny, deny...I tell him that I'll take care of him and protect him always.

my husband, dad, and my dad's wife all confront me and say they know what I'm up to. They know what my T is up to...they had run a background check on my T, and he has criminal history (drug related) and they inform me I can no longer see him and are reporting him.

Of course, they accuse me of having an affair with him and I lie and say I would never do that

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To me, a strong theme running through the dream is that you are doing this secretive, forbidden thing with your T, and you must keep it hidden because it is wrong. In the end, in fact, your T is exposed for his "criminal" activities, and you are punished for having been involved with him. Here's my interpretation. You place tremendous value on your relationship with your therapist. It is an intimate, important relationship in your life, and perhaps it is just this sort of relationship you have been searching for. It's so good in fact that you feel you don't deserve it, and therefore it will get taken away from you. So to me the main points are 1) you have a great relationship with your T, very intimate, 2) you feel you don't deserve it and have to keep it hidden because it is "wrong" (you should be having this type of intimacy with others in your life, not a T) and if exposed, it will be taken away from you. (I see the kissing part as just a signifier of intimacy.)

Hey sunrise, I love your interpretation. I've given this so much thought as well. I finally had my session yesterday after 18 days.

I know that how I feel about my T is genuine in the sense that I feel very close to him and connected. I also realize that this is missing from my life. Although, lately my husband is back to trying again.

He's been actively being more physical with me and talking to me more. He is the one who actually helped me for the past 18 days in between sessions. I told my T this too. He is very happy and said my husband is learning...he had that genuine smile again so I know he meant it.

I told him that when I obsessed between sessions about my T not calling me back, wanting me to graduate blah, blah, blah...

My husband said and I quote "hasn't your T earned the right of the benefit of the doubt yet?" and he went on to say that he was wrong for interfering and not being apart of the therapy and that he was SORRY for trying to get me to end what I am doing. He sees real benefit not just for me but now for him.

He then chuckled and said "I should go back to your T, I bet he and I have a lot to talk about". meaning I rarely give my husband the benefit of the doubt either...we both laughed. In any case, my husband is now actively involved with me. It is progress.

So, the 18 days actually brought us closer and I'm starting to feel real emotion for him and he for me. We are taking it slow.

Alameda... I am pleased for you. It sounds like the proverbial when one door closes (even temporarily) that another one opens.

I am glad that you and your hubby have benefitted from this haitus.

:-)

almedafan, I'm really happy for you that you and your husband are more connected lately. I also liked what your husband said about hasn't your T earned the right to the benefit of the doubt yet? I think that has a lot of wisdom in it.

hey. i think that they way that dream interpretation is supposed to work is that you need to free associate to elements / aspects of your dream.

> I was trying to get an appt. with my T and I finally did. I didn't tell anyone I was going to see him.

why didn't you tell anybody? were you worried about how they would react if you told them? if so, then how do you think they would have reacted?

> When I arrived, he was sitting on a couch with a bunch of people both men and women.

how did you feel about that? was it expected / unexpected? did they seem hostile or friendly? did they seem to be expecting you or not?

> He saw me and we started talking and he was talking to me like a normal guy would.

how did you feel about that? did it feel normal or weird?

> Then we sit on the couch to continue to talk and then this hot/heavy kissing session starts.

do you remember who instigated it? how did you feel about it?

> Then a younger woman enters with brown hair like mine but she is skinnier. I'm not overweight really but she is much thinner and seems to know him similarly to how we had just interacted.

how did you feel about her? jealous? accepting?

> As I am leaving I tell my T, now normal man, if anyone inquiries about he and I we are to deny, deny, deny...I tell him that I'll take care of him and protect him always. So then I leave.

how did he take this? do you remember why you said it?