[BubblesHurt]

-Possible Triggers- -Read at Your Own Risk-
I always work so hard to make my parents (that means my stepdad and my mom, not my biologicals) proud of me. I try not to make mistakes. But here I am, doing everything wrong. Today I broke two dishes. In the past, I've broken five plates, eight glasses, and one $40 glass pan/container. I tend to forget to do the dishes, laundry, sweep/vacuum/dust the house while my parents are gone, and my stepfather usually yells at me and grounds me from a lot of things, and all around makes me feel small. He's one of two reasons I have a sort of phobia of men. (most men, at least.)
I'm home alone right now, and just broke a hand painted plate while putting in the dishwasher. I just had a fifteen minute sobbing session saying "I can't do anything right", "They're going to kill me", and "I hate being me". I just texted my mum, who is at work, telling her the situation, and am currently waiting for her answer, which is likely to include some sighs and disappointment. I'm also afraid that she's going to text my stepfather, and I'm going to be grounded when he gets home. Whoopdee fricking doo.
And for some odd reason I'm hallucinating that the ice cream truck song is being played over and over outside. Sigh.
-end of rant-

[RunningEagleRuns]

thats tough.. eventually you can live by yourself and what not. good luck! do you have a Therapist to talk to about how you feel. or maybe a close trusted friend?

[BubblesHurt]

If I had a therapist I probably wouldn't be ranting here. ._. No, my parents don't even know I'm concerned about my mental health. I have a boyfriend but he deals enough with my DID. My other friends have problems of their own, so... It just felt good to get that out. c:

[Leed]

Hi sweetie ~ As far as forgetting to do things -- how about making a list of things you need to do on a particular day and putting the list somewhere, where you will be certain to see it? That way you won't get in trouble for not doing your chores? Think that will work?

I guess the only way to keep from breaking things is to try to FOCUS more on what you're doing. I think all of us tend to daydream when we're doing the dishes. So I guess you're gonna have to pay more attention to what you're doing, huh? Not much fun, but if you want to keep from breaking the rest of the dishes, maybe you'd better. LOL

Being a teenager isn't fun. I'd NEVER go back to that time of my life for all the money on earth. It was the WORST time of my life, and I hated it. Most people say they had loads of fun as teens, but not me! I hated it, and I don't even like to think about it.

All you can do sweetie is the best you can. Soon, you'll be grown up and on your own -- and that comes with a whole new set of problems. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[CastlesInTheAir]

this might be bad advice.....but just for some fun next time you are about to drop something just freaking throw it, since your going to drop it anyway you may as well shatter the darn thing and have fun doing it........

I'm wondering why you keep breaking things to begin with....hmmmmm....are you rushing? Do you have the shakes? Are you in the moment or is your mind completely elsewhere? Do your parents rub oil all over everything to make things slippery ?

[Perna]

I remember that feeling from when I was a teenager and was doing things I wish I wouldn't and did not understand why. It could be you are unconsciously breaking dishes as you have no other way to combat your stepfather's unreasonable control of you and ordering you around, etc. See if you can stop blaming yourself and think of some way to "enjoy" doing the dishes; when you are older, you will have to do your own dishes/clean up after yourself and family and this is a start/good practice? If you "go along" with things instead of wishing for other things and sort of fighting, it is easier to feel better more of the time and look forward to when you can decide what you would like to do yourself, all the time (which does not really happen; we all have to work, do chores, etc. to support ourselves). Decide you want to help with the dishes and get into doing them as well as you can might help with the breakage.