Hypochondria about other people?

I try to be sympathetic to other people's interests and hangups until or unless I get to the point where I think I'm doing more harm than good by listening or encouraging them along lines that don't seem healthy.

If someone is obsessed with physical illnesses, being sick, doctors, hospitals, is it okay to 'indulge' their passion like you would someone who likes to talk sports? Or is there a point where, seeing that their obsession reinforces bad habits, it's okay to say "not going to do this anymore?"

I was shocked when this person proudly proclaimed to me she'd stopped taking her medications and if she got sick and died, "oh well!" -- she looked deranged when she said it--like she was hoping it would happen.

I told her I didn't think that was a good idea. The one time (that I know of) that a doctor offered her a psychotropic drug prescription (which is prescribed not only for mental health issues but physical pain, as well) she was outraged and deeply offended that anyone would say SHE had a mental disorder (at this point, I almost offered "You're making MY mental disorder worse by talking about this in front of ME!") and she not only refused the prescription, she stopped seeing the doctor.

Her interest is mainly in the sickness and potential for death of other people; with her own ailments (mostly imagined) as a constant backdrop. This hoping for her own death is a new development.

here where I live and work denial/refusing meds and stating what she did is pretty standard and has nothing to do with a mentally ill person actually wanting to be sick, in pain,

usually if those (including me in this) have said what she did it was said out of anger because the person we were with were acting as if they were our treatment providers, or trying to tell us what to do.

Someone start preaching to me about how I have to take my meds and they didnt think its a good idea for me to do what I was doing.. well I have told many a person to back off, go to heck, F.... Im over 18, its my body and my meds no one other than me and my own treatment providers have a right to tell me what I should and should not be doing in regards to my mental illness's and medications. just like someone would respect my wish to wear my choice of clothing, hair style, have sex or not, get married or not...its my body so I say what goes. people can ****offer*** their opinions but if I dont like or approve of their opinion they can go.... and I dont care if they are offended, upset what ever... bottom line its my body and my right as an adult to make my own mental and physical health decisions..

the person giving me their opinion dont always see that, and dont always see they are trying to manipulate / force me into taking my medications. they are usually thinking of their self and how my not being on my medications would affect them.

so sometimes in protecting myself and my rights to make my own decisions I have to get rude, show my anger at the person trying to interfere with my choices... who else is going to stand up for me, my body and the right to take care of this body but me.. Im the one that knows my body...

think of it this way would you want this person to be telling you what you should and shouldnt be doing with your body, not just with medications but with anything in your life... its your body and your right to do what you want with your body including what medications you want in your body and what medications you wont take.

that said there are also many mental disorders where once the person is feeling better the mental disorder makes them believe they no longer need the medications. again its not about wanting to be sick and in pain. its just that the mental disorder is saying, Im not depressed now so I dont need depression medication, Im not delusional anymore so I dont need antipschotics.... just like a person recovering from a cold, flu, muscle problem thinks the problem has gone away so I dont need the meds.

my suggestion if you really want to help this person back off, let her be the ruler of her meds and her body. if you dont like how she is when shes not on medications then you can make a choice to be around this person or not. you can tell her "thank you for telling me you are going to try going without your meds. if it was me I would not do so but you are not me and Im not you. I want you to know now that there are some problems I have with this so if things get too hard for me to handle I will have to back off from having contact with you. You have to do what you feel is right for you but I also have to do what I feel is right for me, Im sorry but being in contact with you while you are off medication triggers my own mental health issues. give me a call when you are back on meds, "

its ok to do what you think is right for you and your body, and its ok for her to do what she believes is right for her own body. it just happens that at this moment and this issue you both disagree and may need to take different healing paths.

I don't think I'd indulge them. I'd find some way of getting out of the conversation -- when she starts talking of her ailments, you could say "oh I'm so sorry to hear that" or something along those lines, and then quickly change the subject to something else, hopefully interesting enough to get her talkiing about it. LOL

Hypochondriacs are difficult people. At least my mother-in-law was! Good grief. I don't thiink she ever read a newspaper, or listened to TV or radio. She didn't know a THING about current events, etc. The ONLY thing she was concerned about was her aches & pains. I couldn't stand being around her. Besides that, she loved my son, but HATED my daughter. The witch.

So that's how I'd handle it. Just change the subject, and if you can--- get away from her. LOL God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

My Mom was what I called a selective hypochondriac. Whatever us girls got Momma got only much worse. We were terrified to tell her if we had something wrong because we knew she would make herself sicker than we were. We changed the subject or lied when she asked how we were and we NEVER asked her how she was unless it was obvious there was something wrong. She lived on the sympathy and attention we gave her if she wasn't feeling well. When we realized we were enabling her we had to learn different ways to talk about things or just not talk about health at all. My older sister is now a hypochondriac and her husband enables her. I love her to death but will not talk health with her unless it is absolutely necessary. Like Leed said, change the subject or just refuse to talk about it. It's hard but you will end up feeling responsible for the other person's choices if you don't avoid the conversations that set them off. Good Luck!

I don't think its healthy to indulge this sort of behaviour - after all it isn't our place to agree or encourage people who think they have this or that when we're not even doctors ourselves. I would state rather plainly that she either needs to find a new doctor or find some sort of chronic pain support group as an outlet for these feelings. Explain that you're worried about her health but that she has to be responsible for getting things resolved. She is after all a grown woman. As for the psychotropic drugs - you don't have to be mentally ill to experience mental illness and it doesn't necessarily mean she buys into the whole stigma surrounding the subject, she could just be rather upset that this is simply another thing added to the list which she needs to take care of. If she isn't open to changing the subject even if you refuse to talk about it i would, if possible, make less contact. At least if then she enquires why you don't meet up as much it brings the whole matter to a head and you may finally be able to get through to her. Sorry if i haven't been very helpful. All the best.