Online Predators

to be fair, i'm not sure its fair to compare PC to myspace. Myspace has well over 50,000 users.

PC to most online communities is tinnnnny tiny tiny. Most of the other forums I chat on have like 3-10000 users.

I also think this argument is getting a little personal and I hope that we can keep it on track without bringing personal hurts into it.

Remember to not post personal issues of another member or yourself guys. Might be a good idea to not bring that into this where this is such a touchy matter



it is a tough issue and very personal for alot of us.

If you're a parent, and you haven't talked this over with your kids yet, many times, then....(I almost never use this word)....shame on you!

The same goes for drugs.

The same goes for crossing the street.

You need to give your kids guidance that will keep them safe until they decide for themselves that you are right. Younger kids listen and accept. Older kids want to rebel. But if you did your talk right, they won't ever forget what you said to them, even when they think you're wrong about everything. Later still, they'll realize you were right all along.

You can't keep kids safe from every danger. In fact, that's not good parenting. Kids learn judgment by facing danger. It's not innate.

But until they are old enough to form their own judgments, you owe your children a duty to make sure they know yours.

Lar

This seems to be getting seriously heated up here. Its hard for the parents to monitor what their kids are doing mainly because our society nowadays isnt the same as it was a few years ago, nowadays, both parents might be out at work all day just to make ends meet.

the computer/internet has just become another means of electronic babysitting.........

However, hopefully we have educated our children enough, if not there is a way to make sure that they are relatively well protected. For instance, they could have their own sign in, which means that the parents are administrators of the computer and can then set up safer surfing for the children by limiting what content their child can view. Also computers should be placed somewhere that a parent can have a quick peek over their childs shoulder as they walk past.

It's very difficult to monitor every movement our children make, especially as they get older and start going out dating etc.

If allocating them their on log in doesnt work, simple enough, take out the cabling for the internet until there is an adult present.

There are no easy ways or answers, i do know that the brit and eu closely monitor these sites, but it cant be easy and a few will slip thru the net unfortunately.

Keep well my friends and remember the internet is benefitting us because we are all able to debate and get support when we need it.

Biggest huggles people.

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Lexicon78 said:
Today while I was on MySpace I was looking for someone to chat with. I, like thousands of others, search the profiles for someone I can talk to and relate to. Not every profile has a picture, either. So in clicking on the person's profile to view it, I came across a 16 year old girl's profile. You know what it said? "I want sex. If you want to have sex with me then send me a message. Sex, sex, sex." You think her parents/guardians are approving that one? Think again. You think that just because she's underage that she's attracting innocent attention or something? NO WAY! You better believe every male or female will be trying to hook up with her! (she was looking for both)

So before you go about just blaming adults you might want to be sure it's totally the adults doing the asking.

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we do not know the full story, the "why" she had a profile displaying "i want sex." i bet she was or is a victim of neglect, abuse, incest, and/or assault from an adult. therefore, i believe the 16 yrs old is not to be blamed, not guilty. i think it is just to blame adults solely for this problem.

Whether you've been terrorized, raped, molested, or hurt in any other way...it affects us in the same ways in general. Why should it matter who was raped/molested and who was not?

Kids are imitators. Try this try that, see what feels right and integrate it, see what feels yukky and drop it. The process of growning up. Unfortunately, the barrage of sexually explicit imagry bombarding our kids..... it fills their awareness, they want to try it out, with absolutely no comprehension of the dangers until they face them.

In a world of functional adults, these experimenting children would be protected from their inexperience by loving adults who WOULD NOT THINK OF GOING THERE with the innocent, who're just trying to figure life, and their place in it, out.

Context. Information without context is ungrounded and subject to speculation and imagination. Normal curiosity has been distorted by our cultural emphasis on sex. The net just makes all the bad possibilities very convenient.

Aren't adults supposed to have figured out right from wrong and pass it on? Isn't that, like um, a definition of adult?

All freedom demands accountability. Freedom isn't free. Free speach does not include the right to yell fire in a crowded theater, nor does it give you the right to threaten or assault others... or manipulate a child's curiosity to your own sick advantage.

Society's job is to protect it's children until they can protect themselves. Society is no longer supporting "the family" even though those currently in power yell family values a lot....

A society in which a full time job does not provide enough money for a family's basic needs, is not pro family in my book.
Families in which( both) parents are forced to work until they're dropping in their tracks and yet still falling behind cannot be expected to be there for their kids. Can't.

Our kids are raising themselves on media images instead of "neighborhood"or "natural" in the flesh reality....... it really does take a village.... where respect is THE founding value.
Hanging out for hours on your knees gardening, chatting about a million different things, one on one, used to be normal. Intimacy. Really knowing each other. Bonding human to human. Now our kids bond with their eletronic gadgets.
It's a whole different world out there..... and it's not the kids' fault.

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We seem to agree on this point, too. So where did it turn into an argument and why?

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I don't know.

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As for me getting my information straight, I would have had a better chance had you given it in the first place.

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I've mentioned my niece on the boards before, and you were the one who made assumptions and leapt to judgement.

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However, I do disagree wholeheartedly with you that a sexual crime has been committed against you. It hasn't. You didn't leave your home with a stranger.

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I didn't say that constituted a sexual crime. I meant that I'd had some really bad experiences. I haven't had a sexual crime committed against me, although I have had a boyfriend use my sexual pain (I have pain with intercourse) for his pleasure, wanting me to pretend "Daddy" was hurting me because it was my first time. I'm not going into the details of all that.

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No doubt, the experience was traumatic, but you STILL don't know how it feels to be violated in a sexual manner. So don't YOU tell me that you know what it's like, because you don't.

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I don't know what it's like to be raped, but I do know what it's like to be violated. That's all I'm going to say on that. It still doesn't mean adults shouldn't be able to read and view what they want, as long as it involves consenting adults.

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Don't tell me I allow criminals to dictate my activities. I don't let ANYONE dictate ANYTHING to me. I take responsibility for ME. I speak for MYSELF. Where did I say that I want criminals to dictate "everyone else's activities"?? Do I have control over "everyone else"?

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By letting criminals change how you go about your life (such as restricting speech and wanting sites like MySpace taken down), you are letting criminals dictate your actions. Wanting to restrict speech and such means you want to control what others enjoy; I didn't say you have that control; I said you want that control.

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Just because something is my right doesn't mean it is always prudent or right.

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Caution is fine; but when it limits you or someone else, it goes too far.

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The Internet is a main place to start since it is the most secretive as well as the most public at the same time.

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I didn't say children shouldn't be protected. But the biggest part of that takes place in the child's home. How would you propose protecting children on the Internet itself?

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MySpace can't control such a large site? How many members does Psych Central have? Over 1000. We're safe here most of the time. In the three years that I've been here, I have yet to see one predator!

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PC isn't as well-known as MySpace. I'm not saying there can't be any control on MySpace. I'm saying it shouldn't be to the point that it prevents adults from doing adult things with other adults.

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Don't tell me that sites that are aimed at kids can't be as well protected as this one because I'm not buying it; not for one second!

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MySpace.com has over 80 million members. And if you think a predator can't succeed in here, you're sadly mistaken.

I saw one 14-year-old boy's posts in a discussion where someone commented that he put his age at 19. He said that when he joined, he was under 14 and there was no option for "14 and under" at MySpace. That's true, and members who are 14 and 15 years old have their profiles automatically set to private. But all a kid has to do is choose an older age, and he can bypass that. I'm not saying MySpace shouldn't do what it can to protect children; but parents are the ones who can do the most.

Edit: I just saw another page of responses, so I just want to add, I'm willing to cool off the argument (but I'm still enjoying the discussion). I'm still posting my response to SeptMorn, though.

here's an internet usage contract for parents and their children, from Netsmartz.org :
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I WILL TALK WITH MY PARENTS OR GUARDIAN ABOUT THEIR EXPECTATIONS AND GROUND RULES FOR GOING ONLINE

I will talk with my parents or guardian so that we can set up rules for going online. The rules will include the time of day that I may be online, the length of time I may be online, whom I may communicate with while online, and appropriate areas for me to visit while online. I will not break these rules or access other areas without their permission.

I will never download anything from anyone I don't know. In addition to offensive content, spam or junk E-mail may contain viruses that can damage my computer.

I WILL KEEP MY IDENTITY PRIVATE

I will never share personal information such as my full name, my mailing address, my telephone number, the name of my school, or any other information that could help someone determine my actual identity.

I will also not reveal any personal information about my friends or family. I will never send a person my picture or anything else without first checking with my parents or guardian.

I WILL NEVER RESPOND TO ANY ONLINE COMMUNICATION THAT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE

I will tell a trusted adult if I come across any information that makes me feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused.

I will never respond to any messages that are rude or offensive in any way. I will show the message to a trusted adult right away so that he or she can decide if it’s necessary to contact the online service or other authorities.

I WILL NEVER MEET IN PERSON WITH ANYONE I HAVE FIRST “MET” ONLINE WITHOUT DISCUSSING IT WITH MY PARENTS OR GUARDIAN

Since the biggest danger to my safety is getting together with someone I have first “met” online, I won’t meet in person with anyone unless my parents or guardian agrees to the meeting, they will go with me to the meeting, and the meeting will be in a public place.

I WILL RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S RIGHTS WHILE ONLINE

The Internet is a large community; therefore, my behavior while on it affects others. I will always treat others the way I would like to be treated.

I will respect copyright laws and check on sources. When writing reports I will make sure that the online sources of information are credible, and I will always cite my sources.

Piracy is illegal and keeps authors, artists, and others from getting paid for their work. I will never download things such as pictures, games, music, or movies that have not been given to the public for free.

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Here's my half a penny's worth....

Larry is right - educating kids about the dangers of being online - be it, addiction, harassment, bullying, or predators - is a must. Giving them a guildelines on what to be aware of will help keep them safe, as long as they follow them. Let them know that it is OK for them to go to a trusted adult (ie. parent, teacher) if there is ANY signs of being uncomfortable about something online.

As for Dr. Phil, showing that interview with the predator, to ME, is educational. It reveals how they go about luring kids. This way, adults and kids will have an idea on what to look out for - 'danger signs'.

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SeptemberMorn said:
Yes, parents need to be more responsible for their children, but the people that start places like MySpace and similar sights also have a responsibility to the kids that were their target to begin with. MySpace can't control such a large site? How many members does Psych Central have? Over 1000. We're safe here most of the time. In the three years that I've been here, I have yet to see one predator! Don't tell me that sites that are aimed at kids can't be as well protected as this one because I'm not buying it; not for one second!

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I think MySpace does try. See info below from Chris DeWolfe, CEO of MySpace (source)

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Since its inception, MySpace has developed a series of initiatives designed to protect our users against inappropriate conduct and content, including specific measures to protect our younger users. These initiatives include:

* Limiting use of the site to users who are at least 14 years of age and providing special protections to users who are under 16 so that their personal information cannot be accessed by persons they do not know.
* Dedicating a third of our workforce to policing and monitoring our site on a 24 hour, seven day-a-week basis to make sure our age requirements are met, and that inappropriate images are not posted to the site. The accounts of users who violate these policies are closed.
* To date, we have deleted more than 250,000 under age profiles.
* Reviewing every image hosted by our site - more than 1.5 million every day - using our dedicated customer care team as well as algorithms and search engines to identify and purge inappropriate material. Our users often link to images hosted on other sites and we are working with two of the largest image hosting companies to ensure that they are monitoring the photos posted to their sites and adhering to our best practices.
* Providing mechanisms so our users can report inappropriate content to us. Once we are alerted, we take prompt action that ranges from involving law enforcement officials to deleting a user from the system.
* Working with hundreds of law enforcement agencies at the federal, state, and local levels to address potential issues quickly and effectively.
* Partnering with WiredSafety.org, the world’s largest online safety and help group to improve the safety of our site. MySpace posts a link to a set of safety tips prepared by WiredSafety on every page of our site.

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tracylee said:
Its hard for the parents to monitor what their kids are doing . . . .

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There are internet monitoring softwares that can be installed on home computers that records all web sites visted, all keystrokes typed, all incoming and outgoing e-mails. If parents would just use these programs . . . .

I think this disgusting behavior needs to be publicized so that people, and parents, are aware of what type of sites their children and teenagers are visiting. It's seriously concerning that the internet has became the new, and entirely to easy, way for a predator to seek a child.

Personally when my children are older and they want to go on the internet I will be supervising every move.

Ya know, MySpace does prevent certain images from being posted. For instance, I tried putting up one of my pics that were related to self-injury and they were denied due to the nature of the pic. I'm sure they also do that for pornographic images, also.

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By letting criminals change how you go about your life (such as restricting speech and wanting sites like MySpace taken down), you are letting criminals dictate your actions.

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It wouldn't even begin to change how I go about my life because I don't visit sites of that nature! It would certainly limit how a predator goes about HIS/HER life, though! If this was to change my life in any way, it would put me in an active position of doing something about a danger to our nation's children.

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Wanting to restrict speech and such means you want to control what others enjoy

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Restricting the speech I'm talking about is a good thing. It's dangerous. The "enjoyment" of a pervert in his perverted activities is also a very good thing! It's not an "enjoyment" for their victims.

If YOU want to visit pornographic sites, that's YOUR business. I take it you are over 18?

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I didn't say children shouldn't be protected. But the biggest part of that takes place in the child's home. How would you propose protecting children on the Internet itself?

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I do protect my computer savvy grandchildren by watching where they go on the Internet. My computer is in my kitchen and I can see and hear what is going on from my living room. For the four grandchildren who are under 7, I have special programs for them that doesn't require them to go on the Internet.

As for your responses to me, you don't need to watch for any more posts from me. Everyone that has followed this thread knows where I stand. I don't need to belabor the point. Some will understand, some won't. It's yours and their choice.

You've said it better than most!

After reviewing the thread over and over today, I just want to say that I think it's sad how we can become so fragmented by the discussion of just one website.

Yes, we all have our differences, but I don't think that should make us go for each other's jugulars. I dunno.

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It wouldn't even begin to change how I go about my life because I don't visit sites of that nature!

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I'm not talking about your behavior online. I'm talking about changing one's life because of a criminal. For instance, it's understandable to avoid going out late at night for fear of being a victim of crime. But if you avoid going out at all, then fear is controlling you, and that means the criminal has won.

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The "enjoyment" of a pervert in his perverted activities is also a very good thing! It's not an "enjoyment" for their victims.

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I think you misunderstood me. I'm not saying it's ok for a pedophile to contact children and try to engage them in sexual chat or to meet; I'm talking about free speech in general. Of course it's not okay for a predator to attack a victim, online or offline.

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If YOU want to visit pornographic sites, that's YOUR business. I take it you are over 18?

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Yes.

And what you describe in terms of how you handle children in your home using the Internet sounds right. I wasn't accusing you of letting kids do dangerous things. I'm not even saying most parents do that; that, I don't know. I know a lot of parents don't.

Free speech doesn't mean people can harass or terrorize. That's not what I was saying. I was saying consenting adults should be able to say what they want to other consenting adults.

About ten years ago the Girl Scouts of USA published, for girls, an article about how to stay safe on the internet. I gave it to my T, who as it "happens" was just about to allow his young child onto the net...he thought it was a great item and used it.

Now this was a long time ago, yet the same safe things are being touted still. The internet itself is not unsafe (just like snail mail, telephones etc) but the way ppl use it.

Wow! I watched DateLine tonight and the 3rd program in the segment made me furious and nauseated at the same time. It's astounding how many men are going to these houses with undercover young adults posing as 13 year old boys and girls. They arrested 130 men so far. I don't want to say more about the show cuz it would be too triggering.

But congratulation and thanks go to those DateLine reporters and the police involved! I hope they win some sort of awards for their work.

emmy

Oh, crap! I forgot that was on tonight! I wanted to watch it! Maybe it'll come on Comcast OnDemand later. I just tried, and it's not on there yet, but sometimes they show them. Darn it!

Predator: selfishly exploiting others. Opportunist: one who takes advantage of circumstances for self serving purposes.

With all the available imaging methodologies out there, you'd think somebody would hook up these sickos and identify the location of the short in the brain and ZAP it. Once again my priorities differ from those in power.......

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emily4040 said:
But congratulation and thanks go to those DateLine reporters and the police involved! I hope they win some sort of awards for their work.

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Yes, Dateline is doing an amazing job!

Have you checked out their webpage? MSNBC Dateline "To Catch a Predator"

On Dateline's webpage you'll find:
* Future dates and times more showings of "To Catch a Predator"
* Dateline's Blog (comments allowed)
* "To Catch a Predator" Blog
* Lists of predators caught on film by Dateline
* Online safety tips
* Survey
* Dateline's Feedback link (tell them to keep up the good work)
* Newsletter (can setup an email reminder to watch next show)
* RSS feed (to add to your blog or website for automated headlines about the show)
* Links to sites that promote child safety on the internet
* Tapes and transcripts request
* Link to the National Sex Offender Public Registry

I think Dateline really cares!

Well, I'm sure people at Dateline care, but it's probably mostly about ratings. Most of their "predator" episodes, which are their highest-watched shows, air during sweeps weeks.

While I think it's great what they're doing, I hope that the host (Chris Hanson is his name, right?) is careful. These guys who show up could be dangerous, especially if they've seen these shows and know they could possibly be set up. Mr. Hanson is usually only separated from the men who show up by a counter, and if one of these guys showed up with a weapon, he might be able to get in an attack before the police or others around there apprehended him.