[Distantmalice]

so much indifference..
hostility.
shame.
embarrassment.
these are the types of vibes i recieve from others.
everytime..EVERYTIME im in a good mood:P
people shake thier heads at me, they tell me that im too wierd...too different.
strangers, people, family, friends...
it just seems like the world is against me, everytime im happy..
i just don't seem to see the point in being happy anymore..or having a personality.
everything goes wrong. i can't even talk to people, i can't...i can't even make friends because all i ever do is screw up...
i don't...want to do this anymore.
i don't want to do anything anymore.
i can't continue

[Roukan]

Hey,

I've been there myself, didn't seem nothing I did would ever please anyone. Everyone looked down their nose at me. Those where some very trying times. It was only when I realized that the only things in life I really control is my actions and reactions. I couldn't control how people felt about me or the way they reacted towards me. Behind closed doors "everyone" has dirt little secrets. Don't worry about what other people think, or how they act, who are they anyway?

[brackenbeard]

I've certainly been there. It's hard when people don't just like you. It's like **** what do I got to do to... wait a minute... maybe that's just the thing. What do I gotta do???? Maybe I don't have to do anything. At least not for these people, right? What should I do for them? Should I please them. Should I look for them to like me. SHould I struggle for their acceptance.

or should I live my life according to my own free will. should i do things for me. things that make me feel better, and not for them and what makes them tick. can i take on the perspective that what matters most is how i feel.

[Augusta_A]

Hi distant,

It's certainly hard to feel that people don't want you to be happy, or that they feel uncomfortable when you're feeling good.

Can you give any concrete examples of the kind of thing you're talking about? What made you happy; how did you show it; and how did other people react?

[Distantmalice]

a concrete example:P
well, there was this time at school where i was super happy and hyper, but everyone around me was just bored and very...indifferent, i recall them saying some not so nice things:P
..and then the feeling of alienation comes up, and thats how i end up feeling. then i get in a pretty pissy mood from that point on. i don't snap at people, but i end up sitting by myself.
then again..even if someone offers to sit with me, i can't really let them. cause i get freaked out! freaked out that im gonna mess up AGAIN!!! and then, whoop, thats one more person who dislikes me:/
i can't have that happen to me anymore..

[perseverance11]

Hello Distantmalice,

Sometimes, I am thinking as you. I think sometimes that people don't like me. What I could say is that be strong and be proud of yourself!