[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Triggers:

Someone can move this if it needs to be but it kinda goes with a few things so I didn't know where to post...

So here's the deal, and I'm going to try and keep it short and to the point, I've mentioned this before but it really really gets to me...

In August 2011 I had a grand mal seizure due to a terrible decision to experiment with an illegal drug (and of course have sworn off everything since) and the neurologist said I wouldn't have another as long as I stayed away from the drugs, something I'd already planned to do.

Months go by and my anxiety slowly calms from the seizure and I start to believe it wont happen again. Then in May at 6am when my fiance was driving me to work I had another seizure. (I'd never had seizures up until this point) the seizure happened the same day a major abuser from my past moved to my town (a family member). In the car I started to feel tingly all over my body and my head started to fill with pressure. I started to feel like I was being pulled back (something that happens when I dissociate) and it started to cause a panic attack. My last thought was "There is no way I can go to work feeling like this" and the next thing I know my fiance is yelling at me and freaking out. I went to the er. I ended up in the er two more times that week from the anxiety from having a seizure the neurologist said I wouldn't have.

So the er referred me to my current t. My t and pdoc believe that I am having (what my gp and the neuro also mentioned) psuedoseizures and they say if I can keep my stress under controll I can avoid any more. So I've been working extremely hard in therapy. Really getting better, my sleep, my panic and anxiety and my general well being have been getting better. T mentions it every appointment.

So my last appointment with pdoc I started to think I may stop therapy. She works in the same office as t and they are trying to get me on antidepressants for my anxiety. I've explained time and time again that antidepressants MAKE me depressed but she keep insisting I take prozac, which I know will make me depressed, and with me getting better I don't want to do that. So I started thinking "Well maybe I can stop therapy for a while since I've been getting better. I don't need to break through to my other parts" (a thing in relation to DID) "just yet, maybe I can go for a little bit just not thinking about things, not analyzing why I'm afraid of so many things etc"

But then last night out of no where my body started tingling. (let me mention as well in my private region before the second seizure the tingling was more intense than the rest of my body) the same kind of tingling and the same places. Then my head started to feel heavy and I started to feel like I was being pulled away. This happened out of no where. I had a lazy uneventful day yesterday. I looked at my fiance expecting to black out but nothing happened immediately so I got up ran to the room and did some grounding techniques. The tingling went away but came back every now and then but for only 30 seconds or so until I forced myself to fall asleep.

No seizure thank goodness.

So I don't know what to do now. I don't know if taking a break from therapy will help or hurt me. I have no clue what happened, what that tingling was. If it was from anxiety, if it was something dealing with psuedoseizures or if it was something relating with DID. My t specializes in DID but it seems like EVERYTHING I mention to him, DID is his answer. Granted it could be but it seems like no matter what it is he's thinking it's related to my DID.

He thinks the seizures are related to DID, pdoc thinks they are stress related. My dizziness he thinks is related to DID, everything I mention, DID seems to be his answer.

I know I can't get any answers here but if anyone knows about psuedoseizures (as t doesn't know much about them and pdoc I only see once every two months and she's not helpful in giving answers only asking questions) and if the tingling and all can relate to psuedo seizures, or the same with anxiety, if you get tingly when you're having a panic attack, or even DDs if the tingling happens before dissociating???

I'm not looking for a diagnosis, I've already got those. DID, GAD and psuedoseizures, I'm just looking for a little comfort or understanding. If it's possible it happened from a psuedoseizure I'll be comforted knowing I may have fought it off with grounding, if it was anxiety, I'll be comforted knowing that the same as the rest of the symptoms "I was fine before the attack I will be fine after the attack" and if it's something dealing with DID I'll be comforted knowing that well heck I'm not alone in feeling like this. I feel crazy right now.

I guess this wasn't short, I tried to make it as short as I could but if you've read any of my posts before, you know that's impossible for me. Sorry and thank you if you took the time to read.

[sammy27]

I am new here, but have some experience with seizures...I had many grand mal seizures as a young adult, directly related to some illegal drug abuse. That was many years ago, but remember em like it was yesterday.
After reading your post, i don't think i saw any mention of any seizure meds..
IMO if you've experienced more than one seizure in a short amount of time, you should be on some type of anti seizure med...
No matter what the cause, seizures are no joke, and meds can help one remain seizure free until all underlying causes are treated.
Good luck to you...i feel for yeah, as seizures are NO FUN...

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Yeah they wont give me seizure meds since they don't know the cause for the two I've had. They're waiting to see if I have another which stinks. They didn't even want to do any tests, my fiance had to throw a fit just to get me a ct scan. Some woman in the ER came in complaining of a headache among other things and they wheeled her right up to get a ct scan which made my fiance furious so he threw a fit until they agreed to give me one. But they wont do any other testing unless I have another, which they said last time as well.

They will suspend my license but not work to see why they happened in the first place. And I'm sorry you've had them, they are horrible, my heart goes out to those who have them regularly, or even just have them every now and then, it's scary even when they're not happening, anticipating them happening again is horrifying. The worst anxiety of my life has been because of this.

All the abuse, and everything, nothing caused as much anxiety as the seizures, feeling like even your own body is against you... It's scary.

Thank you for your kindness, it's greatly appreciated.

[Bmee2]

Hello PFM, that is awful you have to wait to have another seizure before they prescribe a medication to help. i too have had seizures. i am out of it when they happen...usually in my sleep, but afterwards oh how my entire body aches. So i understand the fear. i am sorry i do not know more to help you.

[Leed]

Hey Purple -- won't your GP put you on any seizure meds or is he just giviing way to the other docs? I mean, afterall, he IS your regular doctor. I would think he COULD put you on something WITHOUT their "approval." I'd ask him to put me on Topamax, or something like that. There are plenty of seizure meds out there so he'll know which one is best for you.

It can't hurt to ask him. It might stop these darn things. You can't live your life waiting for the next one to hit -- that's gotta be awful. That right there makes you anxious! So how are you supposed to keep your anxiety down. Double edged sword. Yikes.

God bless and keep us posted, will you? Prayers coming your way. Hugs, Lee

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

My gp wants to give me medicine for migraines, he believes the seizures are caused by my constant migraines. My pdoc wants to give me antidepressants saying that my anxiety causes the seizures and my DID causes the migraines. I saw a neuro after the first seizure and he said he wouldn't do anything thinking it was a result of the mushroom use. Gave me the "Come back if it happens again" speil. So I was hoping he was right, although according to the emergency room I had 3 more seizures (mini episodes) after the first, but they were basing it on my explination.

It took me 3 days to go to the emergency room after the seizure (number one) and in that waiting time I had three episodes where I blacked out and came to and knew I'd just lost consciousness. My fiance looking at me freaked out but all that happened was my eyes started jerking back and forth for like 30 or so seconds before I came to again.

T thinks this was dissociation, the hospital thought it was a seizure deal. Then seizure number two happened and I call the other neuros (not the one who blew me off the first time) and they are all 3-400 for the initial appointment since I don't have insurance. That's literally 1/2 my monthly income and I have bills and a kid so I just skipped going and hoped the pdoc and my gp were right, that it's not a seizure issue but is migraine or dissociative issue, or a "stress" issue. I'm getting a million reasons from them but none of them believed it was an actual seizure issue.

I've been avoiding since day one looking up seizures, I've been too afraid and knew it would spike my anxiety so I've avoided it. But after I wrote this post I went on a few sites and read the information and well... I'm just as confused but now I'm thinking maybe it is a seizure issue, maybe it has been for a long time.

Years ago my pdoc recommended I see a neuro saying he thought I was having more seizure episodes over dissociative episodes, I didn't believe him since all I knew about seizures were the grand mal types. But looking online it makes since why he would mention it.

A few months back I mentioned this issue I have. I get to where it's hard for me to talk. It takes a LOT of work for me to just say a couple of words. I can hear what people are saying but I don't really understand it and if I try to respond it takes a lot of effort to force out a one syllabol word. Reading online this could be a seizure thing. As well as my "spacing out" (people call me space cadet I do it so much it's rediculous) It doesn't explain really my hours to days to weeks to months to a whole year black outs, but it does seem to explain other issues that confuse the doctors.

I was in an accident (nasty one) when I was 6, the summer after I got the dissociative disorder, and hit my head. My brother split his eye open so the paramedics and family were more concerned over him, well the doctor who recommended I see a neuro said he thought I may have gotten seizures from that accident.

So anyways, I made an appointment with the neuro I saw last time since he's only 80 for the visit since I'm already an established patient, it's not until November but I'm doing my research and I'm not going to let my fears get in the way. But I kind of feel like no matter what answer I get it's not gonna be great.

Seizures or DID, or seizures and DID or just me being completely whacked out, doesn't matter which way the dice rolls it doesn't seem like a winning situation

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

Triggers:

Someone can move this if it needs to be but it kinda goes with a few things so I didn't know where to post...

So here's the deal, and I'm going to try and keep it short and to the point, I've mentioned this before but it really really gets to me...

In August 2011 I had a grand mal seizure due to a terrible decision to experiment with an illegal drug (and of course have sworn off everything since) and the neurologist said I wouldn't have another as long as I stayed away from the drugs, something I'd already planned to do.

Months go by and my anxiety slowly calms from the seizure and I start to believe it wont happen again. Then in May at 6am when my fiance was driving me to work I had another seizure. (I'd never had seizures up until this point) the seizure happened the same day a major abuser from my past moved to my town (a family member). In the car I started to feel tingly all over my body and my head started to fill with pressure. I started to feel like I was being pulled back (something that happens when I dissociate) and it started to cause a panic attack. My last thought was "There is no way I can go to work feeling like this" and the next thing I know my fiance is yelling at me and freaking out. I went to the er. I ended up in the er two more times that week from the anxiety from having a seizure the neurologist said I wouldn't have.

So the er referred me to my current t. My t and pdoc believe that I am having (what my gp and the neuro also mentioned) psuedoseizures and they say if I can keep my stress under controll I can avoid any more. So I've been working extremely hard in therapy. Really getting better, my sleep, my panic and anxiety and my general well being have been getting better. T mentions it every appointment.

So my last appointment with pdoc I started to think I may stop therapy. She works in the same office as t and they are trying to get me on antidepressants for my anxiety. I've explained time and time again that antidepressants MAKE me depressed but she keep insisting I take prozac, which I know will make me depressed, and with me getting better I don't want to do that. So I started thinking "Well maybe I can stop therapy for a while since I've been getting better. I don't need to break through to my other parts" (a thing in relation to DID) "just yet, maybe I can go for a little bit just not thinking about things, not analyzing why I'm afraid of so many things etc"

But then last night out of no where my body started tingling. (let me mention as well in my private region before the second seizure the tingling was more intense than the rest of my body) the same kind of tingling and the same places. Then my head started to feel heavy and I started to feel like I was being pulled away. This happened out of no where. I had a lazy uneventful day yesterday. I looked at my fiance expecting to black out but nothing happened immediately so I got up ran to the room and did some grounding techniques. The tingling went away but came back every now and then but for only 30 seconds or so until I forced myself to fall asleep.

No seizure thank goodness.

So I don't know what to do now. I don't know if taking a break from therapy will help or hurt me. I have no clue what happened, what that tingling was. If it was from anxiety, if it was something dealing with psuedoseizures or if it was something relating with DID. My t specializes in DID but it seems like EVERYTHING I mention to him, DID is his answer. Granted it could be but it seems like no matter what it is he's thinking it's related to my DID.

He thinks the seizures are related to DID, pdoc thinks they are stress related. My dizziness he thinks is related to DID, everything I mention, DID seems to be his answer.

I know I can't get any answers here but if anyone knows about psuedoseizures (as t doesn't know much about them and pdoc I only see once every two months and she's not helpful in giving answers only asking questions) and if the tingling and all can relate to psuedo seizures, or the same with anxiety, if you get tingly when you're having a panic attack, or even DDs if the tingling happens before dissociating???

I'm not looking for a diagnosis, I've already got those. DID, GAD and psuedoseizures, I'm just looking for a little comfort or understanding. If it's possible it happened from a psuedoseizure I'll be comforted knowing I may have fought it off with grounding, if it was anxiety, I'll be comforted knowing that the same as the rest of the symptoms "I was fine before the attack I will be fine after the attack" and if it's something dealing with DID I'll be comforted knowing that well heck I'm not alone in feeling like this. I feel crazy right now.

I guess this wasn't short, I tried to make it as short as I could but if you've read any of my posts before, you know that's impossible for me. Sorry and thank you if you took the time to read.

my ****opinion*** not diagnosis is that you did a fantastic job you knew from past experience what that feeling was, you took action by leaving the room and using you grounding tools prevented the situation from escalating into a full blown pseudo seizure.

give yourself lots of hugs and high praise. I know many people who have pseudo seizures due to anxiety and or residual after affects from doing drugs. most of those I know have not followed through with getting clean and saying no to drugs, and very few have the ability to use their grounding instead of panicking to the point where their symptoms end up escalating.

my only suggestion is maybe you can try having some faith / trust in your self and your gut feeling. it told you what you needed to do and you did it and look at the successful outcome. just keep on trusting yourself and your gut feeling.

Im happy and proud for you.